Monthly Archives: May 2010

Tongue in cheek?

This item neatly encompasses many HK things – strange food flavouring, being in thrall to all things Japanese and an intriguing use of English.

With a craving for Roast Beef Monster Munch and Chargrilled Steak crisps, this was the best I could find: Yamayoshi’s Beef Tongue Salt.

Were these crisps? Were they dried pieces of cow tongue? Was it made from salt derived from beef tongue? And if so, what is salt derived from beef tongue? Presumably it’s a bit of a specialty if it’s been going since 2002.

Looking at the ingredients list left me none the wiser, other than telling me that ‘crustacean’ may be involved in the action too. Which was reassuring.

The cartoon cow looks frankly over all this nonsense.

P.S. They weren’t even that nice. (From Log-On)

Blissage75 & Triple Oxygen Treatment @ Bliss Spa Hong Kong review

bliss spa w hong kong

Following on from my Bliss-full night, the time is ripe to tell you more about my personal experience with Bliss. Lucky me, I am the owner of one very lovely boyfriend who took me to stay at The W for my birthday. Of course, this was just an excuse to work in a chance to have treatments at Bliss Spa. If it’s good enough for Oprah, it’s good enough for me. BEST PRESENT EVER. And hands off ladies, you can’t have him! Here’s a review of the two treatments I received, the Blissage75 massage and the Triple Oxygen Facial.

Blissage75 ($1110)

Leaflet states: ‘A virtual countdown to butter’. For once, a leaflet that doesn’t lie. You just feel like your body is melting. The 75 stands for how many minutes this all-over body massage lasts and let me tell you, it’s not nearly long enough. It begins with this slightly weird but ultimately wonderful warm wax foot wrap where your feet are smothered with hot wax before being shoved in what feels like clingfilm. Odd on paper but truly amazing to experience – your feet just feel like they’re melting into a soft warm happy goo. Loved it. The rest of the massage was pretty good too and never made me feel uncomfortable; although the Blissage75 is perhaps a little short of the unique touches that make other treatments unmistakably Bliss, my body never felt better. No rest for the wicked though…

Triple Oxygen Treatment ($1250)

This facial was an ummm… interesting experience but the results are worth it. 85 minutes long and a great complexion-reviver for all skin types, your face will really go through the works – intensive cleansing, exfoliation, wraps, extractions, masks. Amidst all this, the therapist said, ‘I’m now going to rub some acid on your face’. This was as fun as it sounds. Prickly, tickly, itchy, I had to keep repeating to myself ‘Beauty is pain’ to stop myself from scratching my skin off/bursting into giggles as it felt like my epidermis was fizzing (and no, that isn’t a euphemism!). The drier your skin is, the more intense the sensation so I had particular problems around my lip area, which tingled for most of the rest of the session. At the end, you’ll get blast of oxygen spray which feels like you’re in a wind tunnel, albeit an invigorating healthy one (photo shows woman receiving this part at the Bliss Evening).

The results are instantly obvious, even though you’ve got that shiny pink post-facial thing going on – my skin positively glowed and was so much clearer and radiant. And this is no flash-in-the-pan facial – I felt the results were still visible months on. Plus, with their Triple Oxygen products (face mask, eye mask and moisturiser – click the words to read my reviews), you can replicate the rosy radiance effects at home – the energising face mask is my favourite and without doubt, one of my make-up miracles! And Bliss have now introduced a condensed, 30-minute version of this treatment that you can get at their counters too ($630).

My therapist then asked me if I wanted to head back to my room or return to the Brownie Buffet – stupid question alert! I then proceeded to undo all her good work by stuffing my face with brownie goodness. Never mind…

I know this might look a little pricey but I can honestly say, you get what you pay for. I’ve had massages and facials before but this was a luxury experience through and through; as I’ve mentioned before in my Bliss write-up, it’s all about the attention to detail and the little touches that make you feel special. So the fluffy bathrobe, the amazing views of HK, the décor, the lovely staff, the rubber duckies and of course, the brownies, make it worth it. Even better if like me, you can find someone who loves you enough to stump up for it. And I’m reliably informed by those in the know that these prices are pretty standard for the luxury spa experience.

I never wanted it to end, my whole stay at the W was a totally magical experience (will you think worse of me if I confess to crying when we left?!). Go on, treat yourself and indulge – your body will thank you for it, even if your bank balance won’t!

Read my review of Bliss Spa’s Fabulous Facial

P.S. Look! A duck!

Bliss Spa, W Hotel, 1 Austin Road, West Kowloon Station, 3717 2797

[Banner and interior photo from W Hotel Hong Kong’s website]

Bliss Spa: A Bliss-full night

Writing about my lovely experience at Bliss Spa at The W Hotel has been one of those things on my very long to-do list for this blog for a very long time. However, last night, I was treated to An Evening At Bliss (thanks to the lovely folks from Flare Communications and Bliss Spa itself) so I really can’t make excuses any more. So here’s a little rambling about why Bliss is wonderful, with reviews of the two treatments I received (the Blissage75 massage and the Triple Oxygen Facial) to follow…

Why Bliss Spa and The W are a perfect match (even if one likes Grease and one likes Snatch – joke for A*Teens fans only!):

What I love about The W is that although it’s a five-star hotel, it’s not one of the traditional older “institutions” that HK has in abundance. Instead, it’s contemporary luxury with a feeling of individuality to both its design and services (and a few Asian eyebrows were raised at staff wearing Converse!). Similarly, although Bliss is a luxury spa, it’s not of those deathly-quiet ones where you feel like a monk taking holy orders. There’s a sense of fun in addition to the obvious quality on offer and fantastic attention to detail in quirky little touches. Names with a sense of humour, rubber ducks peeking out from every orifice and a Brownie Buffet.

Hang on, did you say Brownie Buffet?!

Yes and it’s amazing as it sounds. There’s a whole buffet full of delectable treats laid on for your gastronomic pleasure, including cheese and crackers, olives, homemade lemonade (delish) and various teas. But it’s obviously all about the brownies, which are actually amongst the best I’ve tasted in HK.

Pic does neither brownies nor view justice - apols

Defiantly un-shop-bought or mass-produced, they’re gooey, chocolatey, fudgey, nutty, melt-in-the-mouth lush. And at Bliss, no mardy therapist will slap away your hand from reaching for your third… or in my case, seventh… brownie. Julie from Bliss told me that in the States, they have cook-offs amongst local bakeries for who produces the brownies for their spas – such a cute idea! They should do some HK variant – daan tart, anyone?!

Other cool things, in no particular order:

  • The highest spa in HK (72nd floor, biatches!) means you get amazing views over HK, especially at night, and thankfully they’ve made huge windows for you to enjoy this (as you can see from the banner picture, which I can take no credit for – it’s from their Facebook). And a definite improvement on the claustrophobic cupboards you often have local facials in here.
  • Relaxation lounges have an iPod dock so you can listen to your own music whilst you wait.
  • The room where you get those messy detox wrap things actually has a shower above the bed where you lie, so you don’t even have to move to get clean. They should clearly install this technology for all beds. But when you do move, you head for these amazing showers that completely immerse you in yummy smells (whilst still getting you clean, obviously). Staff wear flippers. Amazing!
  • All this is very well and good, but at the end of the day, you’re essentially going to be spending your time face down on a bed and all the rubber ducks in the world won’t matter unless Bliss’ treatments (and products) are amazing and genuinely work. Which they do. (Phew!)

Leading us nicely onto…

Alas, I’m such a Bliss junkie, most of the products we tried at the evening I was already familiar with – and with names like FatGirl Slim, how can you resist?! In fact, I think some other bloggers thought I was some Bliss mole planted to indoctrinate them to the ways of Bliss such was my freaky product knowledge (alas, not guilty either). Sadly for my bank account, I did meet some new products and I now have some more stuff on my wish-list:

Steep Clean Pore Purifying Mask – The gorgeous Bastian from Flare totally sold this deep-clean mask to me! A small test of the blackhead-banisher definitely made me want to try it out, if only for the dual-coloured-ness of it (it comes out in two streams of blue and green – like toothpaste – which encourages you to really massage it together on your face)! My pores are so big that small animals probably fall into them when I’m asleep so the claim that 73% of people noticed a reduction in size can only be a good thing.

Didn't know Fu Manchu was a blogger

Poetic Waxing – I watched two girls get waxed with this first-hand and was amazed at the results. No squeals of pain, no watering eyes, no fingernail-indentations in the counter, not even much redness. For a waxing virgin like me, it also looks ridiculously easy to use at home – heat in the microwave, apply, tap to see if ready, peel off, look fab. Plus you can pretend you have a moustache like Peggy did (hat optional). We also got to examine the removed wax complete with hairs – luverly. But solid proof that this works.

Body Butter – I tried a sampler size of their lemon and sage body butter before and loved both the scent and the creamy, dreamy effects. Marcia Kilgore, founder of Bliss, is also responsible for one of my other favourite body butters (Soap & Glory’s The Righteous Butter) so the omens are good.

So overall, a great night (and extra thanks to Bastian from Flare and Julie from Bliss for being super-duper lovely to me). I hope I get invited again, although I clearly need no conversion to the wonders of Bliss and you can expect reviews of some of the other products in my goodie bag sometime soon!

[Banner photo from W Hotel Hong Kong’s website]

Great Forgotten Pop Songs: Alexis Strum – It Could Be You

Poor old Alexis Strum. The eternal bridesmaid of British pop music, her whole back catalogue could feature in Great Forgotten Pop Songs Of Our Time. Leaving behind a trail of unreleased singles, shelved albums and general almost-but-not-quite-ness, Strum’s work still sounds as timeless and beautiful as it did when it was first (almost) released – making picking just one song to write about rather difficult.

Strum was first dropped after her more poppy debut single and album (the partly Xenomania-produced Addicted) never saw the light of day but come second album time, it looked like her fortunes might change. One song was made the theme tune to a much-hyped new ITV drama, she had a column on PopJustice, some old songs had been covered by Kylie and Rachel Stevens and the video for her lastest single, It Could Be You, was in the top ten most requested chart on The Box. Meanwhile, with the likes of Dido, Katie Melua, KT Tunstall and Lucie Silvas ruling the airwaves, it seemed that the market was ripe for talented female singer-songwriters. In a true mark of ‘making it’, I was even set to interview her!

Of course, in the great tradition of Britishness, this could only mean one thing – it would all go tits up. The release of It Could Be You was shelved, the release of parent album Cocoon was shelved, revised to feature the theme tune, then ummm… shelved again. Her record company couldn’t even get this right – both times, it was accidentally released to online stores, meaning us Strum devotees were able to legally purchase her material. And thank God for the record company’s ineptitude as Cocoon is a gem. (Needless to say and probably most crushingly for Strum, I didn’t get to interview her either).

(Sadly, there is no official trace of It Could Be You on Youtube… so here it is, relegated to soundtracking a Twilight fan video. Sigh)

It Could Be You is trademark Strum at her best. Her ballads, although lovelorn and haunting, are never boring, sappy or sickly-sweet; they burn with a sincerity and honesty that sets her apart from the rest of the field. Whilst lacking the booming Tedder-penned epic quality that has come to define a great ballad these days, Strum’s songs use interesting melodies and subtle synths to keep things interesting and although more than capable of writing a clever lyric (Bad Haircut, Nothing Good About This Goodbye), it’s the stunning simplicity of It Could Be You that makes it so easy to fall in love with.

‘Could I borrow your oxygen, I wanna breathe what you breathe’ is as arrestingly heart-stopping a first line as you could wish for. Yes, it’s an obvious reference to make (sanctimoniously declaring ‘you’re my oxygen’ is practically a requirement in ballads these days) but it perfectly captures that headlong rush of being in love. Strum’s vocals are always chillingly flawless but here, she shines with a delicate anguish on lines like ‘the kiss I almost taste’ and ‘the way your voice speaks to me inside/I cannot hide’.

It’s a simple idea, beautifully executed, with a dreamy quality that positively mists up your speakers.

Meanwhile, Alexis Strum (despite having a stonking name destined for pop) has given up music and is pursuing a career in acting. Well done, record companies. And my entirely legally-purchased music files no longer work because they were bought from Woolworths, which went bankrupt, taking my media usage rights with them. Well done, DRM copy-protection. In short, the only good thing left about this whole sorry affair is the music – and thankfully, very good music it is too. For anyone else, it wouldn’t be worth the trouble. For Strum, the struggles only add to its shadowy brilliance.

UK Chart Peak: Unreleased
Key lyrics: ‘Could I borrow your oxygen, I wanna breathe what you what breathe’
Get more: Alexis Strum – Nothing Good About This Goodbye, Bad Haircut, Stay Until Summer

Great Forgotten Pop Songs: Ainslie Henderson – Keep Me A Secret

There probably aren’t that many Top 5 singles that have been practically disowned by their singer/writer, especially when they are rather beautifully-crafted pop gems that most artists would be thrilled to have had a hand in. The next GREAT FORGOTTEN POP SONG OF OUR TIME (yes, the capitals are necessary to create that epic, booming voice feel) is Ainslie Henderson’s Keep Me A Secret.

Henderson was a contestant on the first series of BBC’s Fame Academy, the short-lived rival to ITV’s PopStars/Idol/X-Factor juggernaut. He was the ‘bad boy’ of the house for ummm… pushing over a Christmas tree (this was in the more innocent age of reality tv) and from what I remember, blamed his behaviour on feeling threatened by the also young, male, good-looking and Scottish eventual winner David Sneddon, which if you’ve seen David Sneddon is tantamount to feeling threatened by a pink fluffy teddy bear. Henderson was a little bit emo (possibly before the phrase emo was invented), played the guitar and would stomp about or clutch the microphone angstily when he performed, which meant he would probably never even have auditioned for the ultra-glossy ITV vehicles, let alone got as far as appearing at the live stages.

One of the major differences between the shows (apart from the dodgy decision by the Beeb to let the other contestants have the final vote at ‘evicting’ someone) was Fame Academy’s emphasis on creating an artist, rather than a *cough* karaoke *cough* singer. Sounds pretentious but it basically boiled down to getting the contestants writing their own material, which meant come release time, we didn’t just get a slew of covers (David Sneddon’s rather nice piano-driven debut album is wholly original, self-written songs). Keep Me A Secret, penned by Henderson himself and two other contestants, was a fruit of these labours.

Keep Me A Secret is a rare case of a pop song with indie sensibilities not being a complete abomination. It features a gorgeous fluttery strings section hook, some twinkly tambourine shimmers and a properly anthemic chorus, but it’s the song-writing that lifts it up to a higher plane of pop record. It’s a song where the lyrics are overtly all about doing your best not to fall in love, where the reality of the track is that you’re just about doing everything but. Henderson nails this through expression, both in his wonderfully longing vocal performance and the intoxicating manner of the lyrics.

Other songs would say ‘Don’t kiss me’; Henderson’s says ‘Keep my kisses off your lipsticks, stop me swallowing your charms’. This unusual way of spinning a line makes it more like poetry; it’s tactile, sensual and sexy, with lines like ‘sizzle when it’s face on face, skin on skin’ and ‘don’t let embraces linger, try to keep our arms untied’ bristling with a physicality that’s all the more stirring because it’s forbidden. Elsewhere, it’s the constant push-and-pull of the lyrics that drives it – ‘I’m trying to keep you out and I’m trying to keep me in’, ‘I’ll keep you out of my dreams if you keep me out of yours’ and the brilliantly-fashioned yearning of the middle eight that deserves to be quoted in it’s entirety: ‘All I’m asking/Is for nothing/And if nothing is enough for you/Oh leave it unsaid, keep it inside your head/Under your breath…’ (Henderson keeps that last note hanging with a desperate ache)

It’s not all great – there’s a dodgy bit around the second verse where Henderson rhymes mad with ermmm… mad that always makes me cringe. But for the most part, it’s truly gorgeous song-writing married with a charming sprightly melody.

Apparently, Henderson’s other songs were considered too risqué for a major label and Mercury dropped him before releasing a second single, let alone a whole album that would corrupt young ears. So proud is he of Keep Me A Secret that it doesn’t even feature on his self-released album, Growing Flowers By Candlelight, and has been airbrushed out of existence on his official site. He needn’t be ashamed. This is one secret I’m letting you in on – Keep Me A Secret is wonderful.

UK chart peak: 5
Key lyrics: ‘Keep my kisses off your lipstick, stop me swallowing your charms’; ‘Keep me out of my dreams, if you’ll keep me out of yours’
Get more not unattractive above-average boys with guitars: Alistair Griffin – Oblivion, Alex Gardner – I’m Not Mad

Red Carpet Rundown: Met Ball 2010, Part III

So far we’ve had my favourites, my err… other favourites and Tina Fey. I guess it’s about time we gave Tina’s sacked stylist some company at the job centre.

Vera Farmiga in Sophie Theallet – Ugliest dress of the night that wasn’t actively trying to be ugly. The bottom half, which finds ever-increasing ways to zig-zag Farmiga’s body in as unflattering a way as possible, is particularly nasty. Get back to your saloon in the Wild West, Vera!

Christina Hendricks in L’Wren Scott – It wasn’t a good night for baby blue, was it? It was nice of Christina to bring her baby falcon with her for company. Of course, no one is looking at the baby falcon or the strange orange  make-up or the oddly frizzy up-do. They’re looking at her breasts. It’s for looks like this that the fact ‘breasts’ is only one letter away from ‘beasts’ seems so appropriate.

January Jones in YSL – Hendricks’ eye make-up clearly has nothing on that of her Mad Men co-star. There’s so much of it, it actually looks like a superhero mask. Aided with the concrete quiff, cat burglar gloves and garish colour contrast between shiny 80s prom dress pink and black iron balcony railings, she could definitely be a superhero of some sort. One of those self-made ones out of Kick-Ass maybe. I can only presume Jones is rebelling against being sooooo pretty as Betty by looking freakish in real-life. In which case, result!

Katy Perry in CuteCircuit – I’m loath to put a picture of Perry in because by doing so, that’s giving her the attention she wants. And attention-seeking is the only reason anyone would choose to wear this gown. It’s not a gown, it’s a party trick. It lights up! In neon colours! That’s like so cool… if you’re six years old and they’re glow-in-the-dark stickers you put on your ceiling to look like space. The light display would be by-the-by if it was actually a nice dress. But it isn’t. It’s cheap-looking, shapeless and looks like it was made from scrunched-up nappies. Thankfully unsoiled. Small mercies.

Kristen Stewart in Chanel – Unlike so many fashion critics, I have so much goodwill towards Kristen. I find her awkwardness endearing, even when it means outfits don’t look as nice as they should because she’s standing like Quasmido with the facial expression of someone about to have their photo taken… oh no, what, you took it just now?! But I wasn’t ready! But I can’t muster up much goodwill towards this dress. Remember the old saying about people so attractive that they’d look good in a bin bag? Well, here Chanel put that to the test and um… let’s put that saying to bed, shall we? But that’s not the main issue – what is going on at the bottom? It looks like it’s from a different (also not very nice) dress. The only consolation is that it looked equally horrid on the runway.

Carey Mulligan in Miu Miu – Since Mulligan is British and fairly new to the red carpet, I imagine she also had no idea what or who the Met Ball was. You thought Rachel Bilson wasn’t ‘event-appropriate’? Well, you’ll be weeping into your lace hankies at this. I actually like this dress a lot – it’s very cute, the floral embroidery is just lovely and it really works with the whole fresh-as-a-daisy charm Carey oozes – but it looks so out of place, and Carey knows it. Hands dug in pockets (they look like oven mitts), facial expression of ‘Woah… how come all these photographers are here? I thought this was just a casual little shindig?’, black opaque tights meaning (the Brit in her) that she was sure she would be spending extended periods of time outside… your stylist screwed you over, Carey. I’m sorry. I bet she knew what the Met Ball was all along, the bitch.

Diane Kruger and Zoe Saldana in Calvin Klein; Jessica Biel in Ralph Lauren – I’m not going to pretend these gowns are ugly because they’re not. However, look at what you’ve seen so far and admit, these are a little boring, aren’t they? Oh I know, fashionistas are supposed to worship the ground that Diane’s teutonic little feet walk on and yes, she does look stunning but this minimalist dress is just a little too minimalist for me. It is literally a bit of a blank. Zoe is the best of the lot – her gown fits her like a glove and it actually has some interesting texture and shimmer, plus the one-shoulder and the sparkle in her eye, saving it from being too yawnworthy. And after that shag-pile rug inspired Oscars look, I think she’s allowed a bit of a breather. I actually like Biel’s dress the most – it’s signature Ralph Lauren, fluid effortless drapey grace – but Biel herself is so boring. She can’t afford to wear a boring dress or else she drowns in a sea of vanilla.

Red Carpet Rundown: Met Ball 2010, Part II

Kristen Bell in Diane Von Furstenberg – Until I watched Veronica Mars, I thought Kristen was just another generic perky blonde. Of course, I now realise she’s a whip-smart badass pocket rocket, albeit one who looks great in a pretty dress (something she rarely got to do in V Mars, where the show seemed to exist in a world where The OC hadn’t totally revolutionised how a teen show should be styled). Anyway, I really like this dress; it might look like my kids concocted it from newspaper for a papier-mâché sculpture but the ruffles, soft grey shades and subtle floral design are all lushly romantic.

Kate Bosworth in Valentino – Meanwhile, I’m pretty convinced that Kate Bosworth is just another generic perky blonde. In fact, less of the perky – she seems pretty dead behind her (differently-coloured) eyes. However, I’ll give her props – if indeed, I was the kind of person who gave out props, whatever they are – for this look. The dress is a murky shade of ugly, the shape is droopy and the old Hollywood waves are so overdone and yet… it just exudes class. It doesn’t provide the instant sugar rush of a hit of sequins or a flash of boob but it’s simply beautiful without looking like its trying too hard. Bosworth is still a lamp though.

Sienna Miller in Emilio Pucci – The jury’s out on how much of a generic perky blonde Miller is, primarily because she rarely manages to convey anything other than blankness in most of her roles. This is a curious case of the effects of Kate Bosworth’s dress working in reverse; I was originally sold on his midnight-blue number but I like it less each time I see it. Is it too much cleavage? Too much leg? Too much nanny-shagger glued to her arm? I do love the colour and the shoes and the overall feeling behind the dress but it’s sliding down from ‘gorgeous flamenco’ to ‘tacky can-can’ on the ‘what dancer would wear this?’ scale.

Blake Lively in Marchesa – Speaking of dancers, Blake is only a couple of maracas and a fruit-basket hat away from doing a samba on Strictly. That being said, I’m a fan of Strictly and I’m kind of a fan of this dress. Some say Blake breaks the cardinal rule of showing leg and boob at the same time but have a closer look – are we really seeing that much boob? Cookie Monster’s arm on her shoulder is preventing that… and with pins like that, I don’t blame Lively for getting them out whatever the occasion. Whoever decided to pull back her hair in whatever is the Hollywood equivalent of the Croydon facelift should take most of the credit, as it lets the flamboyant cobalt bolt of blue do the talking without the interrupt of flowing tresses – and this mini is a daring high-fashion choice.

Chanel Iman in Michael Kors – If we really wanna talk daring high-fashion choices, a gold lame jumpsuit surely takes the biscuit. I’m as surprised as anyone that a) this outfit exists as anything other than a costume for Snoop Dogg in Starsky & Hutch and b) that the Met Ball wasn’t audibly cracking from the static this generated and c) that Chanel totally rocks it. I guess being insouciantly beautiful helps.

Tina Fey in YSL – Just to remind us mere mortals why the jumpsuit is not a viable choice for anyone who isn’t Chanel Iman. I pity poor Tina for being taken in by her stylists, who no doubt told her this look was totally ‘in’ and would make her look ‘youthful’ and ‘on-trend’. It also makes her look like a fool. What’s wrong with it? (Apart from that it’s a jumpsuit.) The dropped crotch succeeds in making her legs look stumpy and her hips look wide, which is quite an achievement for just one detail. All this renders the stupid, pointless little bow barely noteworthy, but it’s there anyway as a final twee insult. Now’s the time to give the stylist marching orders, Tina… presumably whilst you make her wear a jumpsuit as penance. It really is the hair shirt of our decade.

Now for a quick game of Spot The Difference…

Emma Watson in Burberry; Kirsten Dunst in Rodarte; Taylor Swift in Ralph Lauren – I’m gonna declare Emma the winner of Bride Wars. She’s beautiful, the dress is beautiful, the cut is beautiful and there’s not really much more to it. There is a little more to Snaggletooth’s dress – more embellishment, more materials – that gives it a nice vintage feel, which suits Dunst down to the ground, but the clean lines of Watson’s dress still emerge victorious. And then you notice Snaggletooth’s 80s’ wedding shoes and lace popsocks and everything is ruined everyway. Taylor’s dress is signature Taylor – sweet, pretty, innocent – and the frills and lace and blonde ringlets have a bit of Georgian feel to them (the era, not the country). The whole look feels very angelic tragic Charles Dickens waif but that doesn’t make it any less successful. But who cares? My heart belongs to Hermione.