Tag Archives: Zoe Saldana

Red Carpet Rundown: Met Gala 2011, The Best of the Rest

Oh my God, you guys! We made it! You made it! I made it! My final post on the Met Gala 2011. I thought the day would never come! All the rest of my posts were themed, but this is basically my brain throwing its arms up and saying ‘Enough!’

Emma Roberts in Michael Kors – Wow. For me, this is the best Emma Roberts has ever looked on the red carpet. Normally, her style is quite young and fresh but here she just oozes class, sophistication and maturity. I love the sneaky cut-out exposing just the tiniest ray of flesh – so sexy but still elegant. The hair is Kate Middleton perfect and the contrast vamp of the red nails is just the frosting on top of the cupcake.

Kristen Bell and Isla Fisher in Tory Burch – Two of my favourite girls in two of the most boring dresses. They don’t do anything much wrong but they don’t do anything much right either. That puff of smoke is me forgetting about them already.

Ginnifer Goodwin in Topshop – Some folk are up in arms that Ginnifer dared to wear Topshop to the Met. Did these people stop and actually look at the dress?! Honestly, if they weren’t told, I doubt they’d guess this wasn’t couture; it more than holds it own against the other gowns, if not bettering most of them. An amazing striking emerald green, a fantastic cut and all being sold with utter conviction by Ginnifer, who makes it look couture-worthy. I get a real Studio 54 vibe from this dress, the kind of thing Jerry Hall might have seduced Mick Jagger with on a yacht party. Arguably the matching necklace and eye make-up are slight overkill and I’m not sure what’s going on with the orthopaedic sandal, but the dress itself is a winner. [Meanwhile, the one no-one cares about from Gossip Girl also wore Topshop and instead looked like she took a wrong turn on her way to Gatecrasher.]

Evan Rachel Wood in Gucci Premiere – The gown is gorgeous. A wonderful, rarely-seen smoky aubergine colour, with a smattering of tasteful sparkle and a truly beautiful unusual neckline. But what’s with the Tin Tin quiff? There’s something about Wood that I just can’t get fully on board with; I find her persona quite contrived and vaguely smug, unlike say Dita Von Teese or Gwen Stefani who often do the 1950s screen siren too and feel like they’re living it rather than just playing a part. Sad to say Evan herself is the only thing stopping me from fully loving this look.

Rosie Huntingdon-Whiteley in Burberry – It’s pink. It’s shiny. It’s tacky. But it’s Rosie Huntingdon-Whiteley. And so it just became fabulous.

Dianna Agron in Michael Kors – On Through The Looking Glass, you’ve seen me fall in love with Dianna’s exquisite elegant Waspy style… and then rapidly fall out of love with it but a few weeks later. Well, I’m back on board with this baby! It’s a departure from her usual tea-dress and princess-hair combinations but this sort of chic simplicity suits her. A striking colour, an unusual neckline, an outfit-elevating gold cuff (less Wonder Woman, more Greek goddess) and whoever made the decision to pull that hair back into a sleek ponytail absolutely deserves an extra chocolate digestive with their cuppa tonight.

Lea Michele in Escada – Lea usually brings the drama to match her diva reputation but this gown is doing nothing for me… or her. The neckline is odd to the point of looking a little evil and stabby, the shape is too standard in a night of show-stealing gowns and even she looks rather unconvinced by it all. Fabulous clutch though.

Frieda Pinto in Chanel – I’ve not liked a single Chanel look this Met Gala (Kirsten Dunst, Blake Lively, Anna Wintour), although Frieda is just about radiant enough to make this look not as spectacularly stupid an idea as a skinny tie over a slinky gown should be. That neckline is unusual and beautiful enough to not need the tie frippery but now all I can think about when I see it is Avril Lavigne. And me thinking about Avril Lavigne is not conductive to me having any positive emotions whatsoever. Everything else about the look – the hair, the red lips, the fluidity of the fabric – is fantastic yet the tie?! Even a badly-dressed Apprentice candidate would shudder.

Michelle Williams in Miu Miu – The last time we saw Michelle Williams, she was wearing a shower curtain and not wearing a bra so just about anything would be an improvement on that. As it is, I think this is gown is actually rather wonderful. The gold swallow embroidery is done just the right amount without starting to look like a scene from The Birds and works to enhance rather than smother what is essentially an immaculately-cut black gown. Still hate the frumpy and middle-aged hair but I’ll take the dress to go, thanks!

Kristen Stewart in Proenza Schouler – I defended Kristen through the dark days where she’d scuttle down the red carpet like she was Viola from The Incredibles and now look… she’s smiling, no longer a hunchback and what’s this, maybe even a hint of red carpet posing too?! I’m so proud! I always prefer Kristen’s edgier ensembles to when she tries (and generally fails) to play it safe so this Proenza Schouler is a very good choice for her, with red and black always looking great against her colouring. Overall, I think it’s a really clean, modern, funky look (and I’ve obviously got an obsession with cuffs creeping in as I love them here too) – and for that reason, I wish it stopped somewhere nearer the knee area. But I’m more excited about seeing Kristen pull S-bends, smizing and giving fierce eyes in the near future. Too soon??

Amy Adams in L’Wren Scott – I love this dress on Amy; she looks about five thousand feet tall in this photo! I’ve not always been a fan of L’Wren Scott’s designs, as I feel the demure lengths and cuts tend to age some wearers, but this is great. The colour might be pretty delicate blush but the print is something a little more savage – it reminds me of the wild garden of thorns that Prince Philip had to hack his way through to awaken Sleeping Beauty with true love’s kiss. Connection to my (joint) favourite Disney movie of all-time? Check. Worn by a real-life Disney princess? Check again. All this, plus a disarmingly lovely milkmaid braid? How could I not love it?!

Isabel Lucas in Louis Vuitton – I like the dress, it’s a zingy watermelon colour that pops against the rest of proceedings, the pleating is pretty and those little gold bow-shaped studs are super-cute. But no-one’s looking at the dress. They’re looking at the bizarre virgin sacrifice adornment perched on top of Isabel’s head. Never has Coco Chanel’s advice about looking in the mirror and taking one piece off seemed more apt. And no, Isabel, before you start trying to put down that gorgeous gold ingot of a bag – it’s the headdress that needs to go! But practically the only thing I remember Isabel for – and it certainly ain’t her films – is always having one piece of utter insanity about her look, be it a sweatband, a strange hat, floral harem pants, odd coloured tights, eyebrows the wrong colour and, most memorably, a parasol. Charming or infuriating, it is her USP and let’s face it, a starlet needs one these days. It’s more than Kate Bosworth’s got anyhow.

The Olsens in Givenchy & Christian Dior – One day, the world will wake up and realise that the Olsen twins have been playing out a real life re-telling of the Emperor’s New Clothes. I don’t “get” Chloe Sevigny or Alexa Chung’s style, but I sort of understand why people do. But the Olsens? They generally look old – great-grandma made homeless and smelly old – with minor drug addict undertones. I also do not know which one is which and don’t wish to waste valuable seconds of my life in finding out so let’s just say that the one in the shapeless red designer potato sack looks better, basically just because she doesn’t look ill. The other one is wearing Barbara Cartland armbands as a style statement and looks like she has consumption. I’m sure they’re really nice people in real life…

Christina Hendricks in Carolina Herrera – I can’t remember the last time I saw Christina look good in anything other than a publicity shot for Mad Men. Suffice to say, adress with  a Dulux colour chart as its bodice and a really ugly oil painting that used to hang in my house as its bottom, is not going to break that chain. I’m intrigued by how they’ve managed to put sleeves on what the fashion gods surely intended to be a strapless sleeveless dress, but intrigued in a way that I want it solving on How 2 rather than in a ‘Wow, isn’t that fabulous way!’ way. Her skin looks beautiful though.

Zoe Saldana in Calvin Klein – And here’s how to do simple but stunning. This lemon yellow simple shift is like a palette cleanser to all the insanity that has gone before it and Zoe just looks like she’s skipped right out of a spring meadow smelling of daisies. I love the carefree cascading hair whilst the addition of a gold necklace peps up proceedings a little. It helps that no-one else wore this colour and that no-one else dared to play it quite this minimalist but when you’ve got a gorgeous girl in a gorgeous dress, very little can go wrong.

Kerry Washington in Escada – Did I mention that I like turquoise? Lucky Kerry therefore gets an easy pass for this relatively uncomplicated outfit, although those ultra-slimming cut-outs are a neat touch. Is the sea-foam shade plus the bubblegum pink lipstick plus the Monica humidity hair a bit too beach-ready? Oh screw it, her little Borrower clutch bag is too cute. Run by quick, before I change my mind.

Michelle Monaghan in Derek Lam – Is it me or has having a fringe completely changed Michelle Monaghan’s face? I showed some pictures of her plus bangs to my boyfriend and he swore that it wasn’t her. This gown is pulling a Zoe Saldana on me in making its minimalism work by way of a strong colour, although I like the shape less than Saldana’s. I’d even call it slightly austere-looking were it not for the fact that it is in bubblegum pink and calling anything bubblegum pink austere is just plain ridiculous. But the colour looks great against her hair and I love the contrast of the dark nails too. Am I still not convinced that this is Michelle Monaghan? Totally.

Elizabeth Banks in Tommy Hilfiger – I’ve mentioned a few times how Elizabeth Banks does absolutely nothing for me and yet every time I’ve featured her, she has duly decided to look stunning. Maybe I should send some curses Christina Hendricks’ way instead. This dress is just gorgeous. It’s that really yellow shade of gold that just looks so new and shiny and Midas-kissed that it bypasses all my vital senses and speaks straight to my inner Abu (you know, when he stuffs all the treasure down his top in the cave in Aladdin). Hair, make-up, jewellery – all flawless, all 50s screen siren worthy. So could you at least look happy about it, love?

Joy Bryant & Margherita Missoni in Missoni – Yes, your eyes do not deceive you, you are seeing knitwear at the Met Gala. Of course, colourful knitwear that looks like a Magic Eye painting is Missoni’s calling card (and yes, that is the second time I’ve name-checked Magic Eyes in these posts, high five!) so we shouldn’t really expect anything else from the designer. Joy’s still feels a little too casual, although I would definitely be interested in tasting the tropical cocktail that it was inspired by. Meanwhile, I am slightly in love with Margherita’s gown, a pretty pastel concoction that reminds me of Easter eggs. I’d change the slightly cheap-looking belt and give her a more romantic playful hair-do but otherwise, I’m picking Easter eggs over a Singapore Sling. Who’d have thunk?

Mila Jovovich & Anouck Lepere in Marni – The jury’s out on whether these dresses are a little too casual for the Met Gala but I really like both of them nonetheless. As ever, Mila is badass and WORKING hers like it’s the only LBD worth owning (and that embroidery is sooo pretty) whilst I love how Anouck has accessorised hers. It turns a dress with a print that looks like corporate artwork into something very funky and fashion and her loose waves are glorious. I actually want to wear both of these dresses, which despite my love for it, is not something I could say about Christina Ricci’s cobwebby confection.

Karlie Kloss & Angela Lindvall in Dior – Karlie Kloss is allegedly only 17 and gets to wear a stunning, gold, glittery Dior dress and look more self-assured and confident than most people in their thirties. (Angela Lindvall doesn’t look too shabby either.) Life sometimes really does seem unfair, right?!

P.S. Since I normally split my posts into favourites but haven’t here, plus you know I love lists, here’s my best-dressed from the event: 1) Gisele Bundchen 2) Diane Kruger 3) Liv Tyler 4) Chanel Iman 5) Christina Ricci, with honorable mentions going to Hilary Rhoda, Karolina Kurkova, Emma Roberts, Madonna, Zoe Saldana and SJP. And now I really am DONE!

Pictures: Just Jared, Style.com, Look.co.uk, Socialite Life, Huffington Post Style

Red Carpet Rundown: 2011 Oscar Parties, Part III

Looks like you made it through the sea of bad taste, the Muppets outbreak and the ocean of yawn through to my final red carpet rundown from the 2011 Oscar Parties. Your reward? A dozen or so more dresses to cast judgement on, of course.

Lea Michele in Roberto Cavalli – There’s something slightly schizophrenic about this dress, like it was designed by a Mormon who raved it up in Studio 54 when his parents weren’t watching. For me, the uber-high neckline and long sleeves just don’t work with a dress that’s had Taylor Swift’s entire wardrobe of sequins flung at it. The pattern looks like it’s desperate to become a Union Jack but hasn’t quite made it, and although there is a slight 70s diva charm to it, my overriding feeling is one of ‘ugh’.

Taylor Swift in Zuhair Murad – Taylor’s here to reclaim her sequins. ‘They’re mine, all MINE! …Even the blue ones!’ ‘Wouldn’t it be nice if someone else wore us… just once’ begged Baby Sequin to Poppa Sequin. Pretty enough but even the sequins are starting to look bored of Taylor’s signature look.

Selena Gomez in Dolce & Gabanna – This is also standard for Selena, namely wearing dresses that are more grown-up than she is. I think this red gown is gorgeous (particularly the double straps) but I think I’d love it even more on someone taller, older and who isn’t dating Justin Bieber. How about giving it to me?

Kate Beckinsale in Julien Macdonald – If this was America’s Next Top Model, Kate would be receiving first call-out for this picture. Girlfriend is working it! Putting away my inner Tyra for a minute, this is a smouldering number that takes the basic shape of Lea Michele’s misfire and remembers to add some sex to the equation. Add Kate, who exudes a sense of stardom strong enough to make you forget she’s never really been in any good movies, and you have a winner.

Anna Kendrick in Marchesa – They say that ‘Life is like a box of chocolates’, so Anna came dressed as one. Specifically, a Valentines gift box. Needless to say, what works for a Thorntons shelf doesn’t necessarily translate to the red carpet.

Emma Stone in Chanel Couture – I don’t think I even need to mention the hair anymore so let’s head straight to the outfit. A top with a print that looks like it was made with 90s Clipart pictures of fireworks, a lace skirt that’s sprouted a ponytail and all in dark colours that seem at odds with Emma’s typically sunny disposition (and sitcom hair). And yet… perhaps I’ve been writing too long, perhaps I’m just willing to forgive the lovely Emma anything (including hair made of straw) but colour me crazy, I think it works.

Zoe Saldana in Prabal Gurung – I never thought pink and red were a great match yet Zoe carries it off with such aplomb that I almost wasn’t reminded of a Hallmark display. However, the ruff?! There’s a reason no one but clowns have worn these since Tudor times. I do applaud the candle holder/ornamental Turkish Delight box as a handbag though. In fact, I’m not sure it’s even supposed to be a handbag… just Zoe trying to extract some sort of use from the pretty frippery you find scattered in aspirational lifestyle stores and find yourself buying even though they have no other ostensible purpose than to sit and look pretty. Much like Jessica Biel. Ornamental Turkish Delight box may even have had more charisma in The A-Team too.

Emma Roberts and Ashley Tisdale in Jenny Packham – I really love Jenny Packham dresses. They don’t involve models wearing gimp masks down the catwalk, they don’t require “directional” (e.g. freaky scary) make-up to look their best and they don’t try and hit so many trends that they look like a fashion editor’s mood board just vomited itself onto an unsuspecting passer-by. They’re unashamedly pretty, feminine, feature liberal use of sparkle and are all the better for it. Emma Roberts’ dress is probably my favourite of all the Oscar party outfits (and indeed, edges out most of the gowns from the main event); I just love the way the sleeves sit and how it seems that a star is exploding from the gown’s middle. Shame it’s on Emma, who excites me about as much as a film starring Jessica Biel, Elizabeth Banks, Kate Bosworth AND Jessica Alba (in case you’re new here, that’s marginally less than staring at a blank screen). I like Ashley Tisdale a whole lot more but like her dress a little bit less – but it’s still a gorgeous shimmering champagne colour and I love that twisted shoulder detail.

Kerry Washington in Escada – Having sported thick heavy bangs (or as it was known then, a fringe) for most of my youth, whenever I see this hairdo, I immediately start having traumatic flashbacks to the pain and months of impaired vision that growing it out entailed. So, I’m not usually a fan (see Sandra Bullock at this year’s Golden Globes). But I actually like the blunt bangs on Kerry and it plays in well with the metallic line details on her glittering diva gown. I’d say it was sassy if I didn’t hate the word.

Paz Vega in Giambattista Valli – This is just lovely, soft and unexpected. It feels a little more suited to a charity lunch or a day at the races but it’s still a stand-out amongst all the sequins and vampy colours. Pretty yet directional thanks to the strong but squishy shape, the romantic ruffly skirt makes me thinks of pillows, clouds, marshmallows and meadows of spring flowers. All good connotations, let me assure you.

Red Carpet Rundown: Met Ball 2010, Part III

So far we’ve had my favourites, my err… other favourites and Tina Fey. I guess it’s about time we gave Tina’s sacked stylist some company at the job centre.

Vera Farmiga in Sophie Theallet – Ugliest dress of the night that wasn’t actively trying to be ugly. The bottom half, which finds ever-increasing ways to zig-zag Farmiga’s body in as unflattering a way as possible, is particularly nasty. Get back to your saloon in the Wild West, Vera!

Christina Hendricks in L’Wren Scott – It wasn’t a good night for baby blue, was it? It was nice of Christina to bring her baby falcon with her for company. Of course, no one is looking at the baby falcon or the strange orange  make-up or the oddly frizzy up-do. They’re looking at her breasts. It’s for looks like this that the fact ‘breasts’ is only one letter away from ‘beasts’ seems so appropriate.

January Jones in YSL – Hendricks’ eye make-up clearly has nothing on that of her Mad Men co-star. There’s so much of it, it actually looks like a superhero mask. Aided with the concrete quiff, cat burglar gloves and garish colour contrast between shiny 80s prom dress pink and black iron balcony railings, she could definitely be a superhero of some sort. One of those self-made ones out of Kick-Ass maybe. I can only presume Jones is rebelling against being sooooo pretty as Betty by looking freakish in real-life. In which case, result!

Katy Perry in CuteCircuit – I’m loath to put a picture of Perry in because by doing so, that’s giving her the attention she wants. And attention-seeking is the only reason anyone would choose to wear this gown. It’s not a gown, it’s a party trick. It lights up! In neon colours! That’s like so cool… if you’re six years old and they’re glow-in-the-dark stickers you put on your ceiling to look like space. The light display would be by-the-by if it was actually a nice dress. But it isn’t. It’s cheap-looking, shapeless and looks like it was made from scrunched-up nappies. Thankfully unsoiled. Small mercies.

Kristen Stewart in Chanel – Unlike so many fashion critics, I have so much goodwill towards Kristen. I find her awkwardness endearing, even when it means outfits don’t look as nice as they should because she’s standing like Quasmido with the facial expression of someone about to have their photo taken… oh no, what, you took it just now?! But I wasn’t ready! But I can’t muster up much goodwill towards this dress. Remember the old saying about people so attractive that they’d look good in a bin bag? Well, here Chanel put that to the test and um… let’s put that saying to bed, shall we? But that’s not the main issue – what is going on at the bottom? It looks like it’s from a different (also not very nice) dress. The only consolation is that it looked equally horrid on the runway.

Carey Mulligan in Miu Miu – Since Mulligan is British and fairly new to the red carpet, I imagine she also had no idea what or who the Met Ball was. You thought Rachel Bilson wasn’t ‘event-appropriate’? Well, you’ll be weeping into your lace hankies at this. I actually like this dress a lot – it’s very cute, the floral embroidery is just lovely and it really works with the whole fresh-as-a-daisy charm Carey oozes – but it looks so out of place, and Carey knows it. Hands dug in pockets (they look like oven mitts), facial expression of ‘Woah… how come all these photographers are here? I thought this was just a casual little shindig?’, black opaque tights meaning (the Brit in her) that she was sure she would be spending extended periods of time outside… your stylist screwed you over, Carey. I’m sorry. I bet she knew what the Met Ball was all along, the bitch.

Diane Kruger and Zoe Saldana in Calvin Klein; Jessica Biel in Ralph Lauren – I’m not going to pretend these gowns are ugly because they’re not. However, look at what you’ve seen so far and admit, these are a little boring, aren’t they? Oh I know, fashionistas are supposed to worship the ground that Diane’s teutonic little feet walk on and yes, she does look stunning but this minimalist dress is just a little too minimalist for me. It is literally a bit of a blank. Zoe is the best of the lot – her gown fits her like a glove and it actually has some interesting texture and shimmer, plus the one-shoulder and the sparkle in her eye, saving it from being too yawnworthy. And after that shag-pile rug inspired Oscars look, I think she’s allowed a bit of a breather. I actually like Biel’s dress the most – it’s signature Ralph Lauren, fluid effortless drapey grace – but Biel herself is so boring. She can’t afford to wear a boring dress or else she drowns in a sea of vanilla.

Red Carpet Rundown: Oscars 2010, Part II

And onto Part II, cunningly-named ‘The Rest’ category; this is what I was referring to when I said the Oscars 2010 red carpet was one of the most interesting and adventurous in years. Thought I’d hook you in with the uglies to start off…

Diane Kruger in Chanel – Kruger is usually one of the most impeccably-dressed women around (see what she’s been wearing the rest of this awards season here) but this is a dress only a mother could love. In fact, make that grandmother, as surely (cool hip grandmas apart) they’re the only ones constituting any sort of buoyant lace doilie market there may be and lace doilies appears to be what this dress is fashioned from. Screwed-up lace doilies occasionally throttled with screwed-up black lace doilies that is. Find the most unflattering parts of a figure to tie things around and in a quite remarkable feat, that’s where the black lace appears on this gown. The middle section reminds me of curdled cottage cheese, which in turn reminds me of thrush. No dress that reminds me of an infection whereby your urine looks like cottage cheese can be a good thing.

Vera Farmiga in Marchesa – I’m usually a big fan of Marchesa’s structural gowns but try as I might to love this one, rather like that Topshop dress that rocked on Alexa Chung/Kate Moss/Sienna Miller but just looks weird on you, I can’t. I love the cerise colour, I love the shade of lipstick and I love that the neutral-wearing Farmiga has taken a real fashion risk, but I just see pencil shavings… or pleated napkins… or cupcake cases, which are stiff, slightly grotesque and give Farmiga no shape at all. I think in isolated doses, just on the bodice with a sleek skirt or vice versa, it might have worked yet in its current state, it just looks like an infection running rampage over the entire dress.

Zoe Saldana in Givenchy – Some critics are going loop the loop for this dress, which just highlights the selective couture blindess that seems to go on. Saldana is stunning and sells this gown with all her Na’vi might but it was weird on the catwalk and it’s still weird now. Let’s go through this step by step. Glittering bodice: gorgeous. Origami-pleated waistline – delectable. Lavender colour – delicious. The bottom: *Red alert, fire alarms, sirens, screams of horror * What is it?! The remains of a Muppet? A crowd of purple Chuzzles? Some tie-dyed shag-pile rugs from the 70s? No idea, but DO NOT LIKE.

Charlize Theron in Christian Dior – In homage to her Arrested Development character, perhaps this gown would look better on inside out? Only a Mr F could have thought this would look good. Charlize really can’t have a go at us if we’re all staring at her tits because the two Danish pastries attached to her boobs make it kinda hard not to. I preferred them when held up to the ears to make you look like Princess Leia (you can have that style tip for free). In all fairness, the rest of the gown is fine and Theron is her usual immaculately-groomed but if the designer really had to “add interest” to this simple dress, couldn’t he have found a less patently ridiculous place to do so?

Carey Mulligan in Prada – I hoped it would be Kristen Stewart bringing a rock edge to the Oscars but step forward English rose, Mulligan, to do red carpet dressing with a punky twist. Rather than embellishing the bodice with mere girlie glitter, Prada have instead scattered it with miniature knives, forks, scissors, keys and watch gears, a really cute and quirky design detail that totally works and makes the top half of this dress rock. Bottom half however and things start to get a bit tipsy; I don’t like the shorter length at the front, the border is unnecessary and the shoes seem heavy. I think a shorter version of this would look great at some music awards show – get onto it Prada!

Sarah Jessica Parker in Chanel – Of course, SJP fans would have you believe this dress is amazing/beautiful/stunning and that she was one of the best dressed of the night. But those SJP fans tend to think she would look fantastic in a bin bag (and let’s face it, she probably has worn one at some stage) and the reality is that this dress is a bit of a let-down. It does have a classic sort of elegance to it, but the musty yellow colour makes it look like it was discovered amongst the mothballs at the back of the closet and you’ll have more chance of finding a real-life Big than any sort of shape in this saggy sheath. Nevertheless, the beautifully intricate neckline is fascinating, in a Derren Brown sort of way. Is sheer will power alone holding it up? A spell from the fashion gods granted for so many years of sterling service? Who knows but it, and those sparkling bracelets, are the best thing about this outfit.