Tag Archives: Met Ball 2010

Red Carpet Rundown: Met Ball 2010, Part III

Posted on May 15, 2010 | 3 comments

So far we’ve had my favourites, my err… other favourites and Tina Fey. I guess it’s about time we gave Tina’s sacked stylist some company at the job centre.

Vera Farmiga in Sophie Theallet – Ugliest dress of the night that wasn’t actively trying to be ugly. The bottom half, which finds ever-increasing ways to zig-zag Farmiga’s body in as unflattering a way as possible, is particularly nasty. Get back to your saloon in the Wild West, Vera!

Christina Hendricks in L’Wren Scott – It wasn’t a good night for baby blue, was it? It was nice of Christina to bring her baby falcon with her for company. Of course, no one is looking at the baby falcon or the strange orange make-up or the oddly frizzy up-do. They’re looking at her breasts. It’s for looks like this that the fact ‘breasts’ is only one letter away from ‘beasts’ seems so appropriate.

January Jones in YSL – Hendricks’ eye make-up clearly has nothing on that of her Mad Men co-star. There’s so much of it, it actually looks like a superhero mask. Aided with the concrete quiff, cat burglar gloves and garish colour contrast between shiny 80s prom dress pink and black iron balcony railings, she could definitely be a superhero of some sort. One of those self-made ones out of Kick-Ass maybe. I can only presume Jones is rebelling against being sooooo pretty as Betty by looking freakish in real-life. In which case, result!

Katy Perry in CuteCircuit – I’m loath to put a picture of Perry in because by doing so, that’s giving her the attention she wants. And attention-seeking is the only reason anyone would choose to wear this gown. It’s not a gown, it’s a party trick. It lights up! In neon colours! That’s like so cool… if you’re six years old and they’re glow-in-the-dark stickers you put on your ceiling to look like space. The light display would be by-the-by if it was actually a nice dress. But it isn’t. It’s cheap-looking, shapeless and looks like it was made from scrunched-up nappies. Thankfully unsoiled. Small mercies.

Kristen Stewart in Chanel – Unlike so many fashion critics, I have so much goodwill towards Kristen. I find her awkwardness endearing, even when it means outfits don’t look as nice as they should because she’s standing like Quasmido with the facial expression of someone about to have their photo taken… oh no, what, you took it just now?! But I wasn’t ready! But I can’t muster up much goodwill towards this dress. Remember the old saying about people so attractive that they’d look good in a bin bag? Well, here Chanel put that to the test and um… let’s put that saying to bed, shall we? But that’s not the main issue – what is going on at the bottom? It looks like it’s from a different (also not very nice) dress. The only consolation is that it looked equally horrid on the runway.

Carey Mulligan in Miu Miu – Since Mulligan is British and fairly new to the red carpet, I imagine she also had no idea what or who the Met Ball was. You thought Rachel Bilson wasn’t ‘event-appropriate’? Well, you’ll be weeping into your lace hankies at this. I actually like this dress a lot – it’s very cute, the floral embroidery is just lovely and it really works with the whole fresh-as-a-daisy charm Carey oozes – but it looks so out of place, and Carey knows it. Hands dug in pockets (they look like oven mitts), facial expression of ‘Woah… how come all these photographers are here? I thought this was just a casual little shindig?’, black opaque tights meaning (the Brit in her) that she was sure she would be spending extended periods of time outside… your stylist screwed you over, Carey. I’m sorry. I bet she knew what the Met Ball was all along, the bitch.

Diane Kruger and Zoe Saldana in Calvin Klein; Jessica Biel in Ralph Lauren – I’m not going to pretend these gowns are ugly because they’re not. However, look at what you’ve seen so far and admit, these are a little boring, aren’t they? Oh I know, fashionistas are supposed to worship the ground that Diane’s teutonic little feet walk on and yes, she does look stunning but this minimalist dress is just a little too minimalist for me. It is literally a bit of a blank. Zoe is the best of the lot – her gown fits her like a glove and it actually has some interesting texture and shimmer, plus the one-shoulder and the sparkle in her eye, saving it from being too yawnworthy. And after that shag-pile rug inspired Oscars look, I think she’s allowed a bit of a breather. I actually like Biel’s dress the most – it’s signature Ralph Lauren, fluid effortless drapey grace – but Biel herself is so boring. She can’t afford to wear a boring dress or else she drowns in a sea of vanilla.

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Tagged best dressed, Carey Mulligan, Christina Hendricks, Costume Institute Gala 2010, Diane Kruger, fashion, January Jones, Jessica Biel, Katy Perry, Kristen Stewart, Met Ball 2010, Met Gala 2010, red carpet, Vera Farmiga, worst dressed, Zoe Saldana

Red Carpet Rundown: Met Ball 2010, Part II

Posted on May 15, 2010 | 2 comments

Kristen Bell in Diane Von Furstenberg – Until I watched Veronica Mars, I thought Kristen was just another generic perky blonde. Of course, I now realise she’s a whip-smart badass pocket rocket, albeit one who looks great in a pretty dress (something she rarely got to do in V Mars, where the show seemed to exist in a world where The OC hadn’t totally revolutionised how a teen show should be styled). Anyway, I really like this dress; it might look like my kids concocted it from newspaper for a papier-mâché sculpture but the ruffles, soft grey shades and subtle floral design are all lushly romantic.

Kate Bosworth in Valentino – Meanwhile, I’m pretty convinced that Kate Bosworth is just another generic perky blonde. In fact, less of the perky – she seems pretty dead behind her (differently-coloured) eyes. However, I’ll give her props – if indeed, I was the kind of person who gave out props, whatever they are – for this look. The dress is a murky shade of ugly, the shape is droopy and the old Hollywood waves are so overdone and yet… it just exudes class. It doesn’t provide the instant sugar rush of a hit of sequins or a flash of boob but it’s simply beautiful without looking like its trying too hard. Bosworth is still a lamp though.

Sienna Miller in Emilio Pucci – The jury’s out on how much of a generic perky blonde Miller is, primarily because she rarely manages to convey anything other than blankness in most of her roles. This is a curious case of the effects of Kate Bosworth’s dress working in reverse; I was originally sold on his midnight-blue number but I like it less each time I see it. Is it too much cleavage? Too much leg? Too much nanny-shagger glued to her arm? I do love the colour and the shoes and the overall feeling behind the dress but it’s sliding down from ‘gorgeous flamenco’ to ‘tacky can-can’ on the ‘what dancer would wear this?’ scale.

Blake Lively in Marchesa – Speaking of dancers, Blake is only a couple of maracas and a fruit-basket hat away from doing a samba on Strictly. That being said, I’m a fan of Strictly and I’m kind of a fan of this dress. Some say Blake breaks the cardinal rule of showing leg and boob at the same time but have a closer look – are we really seeing that much boob? Cookie Monster’s arm on her shoulder is preventing that… and with pins like that, I don’t blame Lively for getting them out whatever the occasion. Whoever decided to pull back her hair in whatever is the Hollywood equivalent of the Croydon facelift should take most of the credit, as it lets the flamboyant cobalt bolt of blue do the talking without the interrupt of flowing tresses – and this mini is a daring high-fashion choice.

Chanel Iman in Michael Kors – If we really wanna talk daring high-fashion choices, a gold lame jumpsuit surely takes the biscuit. I’m as surprised as anyone that a) this outfit exists as anything other than a costume for Snoop Dogg in Starsky & Hutch and b) that the Met Ball wasn’t audibly cracking from the static this generated and c) that Chanel totally rocks it. I guess being insouciantly beautiful helps.

Tina Fey in YSL – Just to remind us mere mortals why the jumpsuit is not a viable choice for anyone who isn’t Chanel Iman. I pity poor Tina for being taken in by her stylists, who no doubt told her this look was totally ‘in’ and would make her look ‘youthful’ and ‘on-trend’. It also makes her look like a fool. What’s wrong with it? (Apart from that it’s a jumpsuit.) The dropped crotch succeeds in making her legs look stumpy and her hips look wide, which is quite an achievement for just one detail. All this renders the stupid, pointless little bow barely noteworthy, but it’s there anyway as a final twee insult. Now’s the time to give the stylist marching orders, Tina… presumably whilst you make her wear a jumpsuit as penance. It really is the hair shirt of our decade.

Now for a quick game of Spot The Difference…

Emma Watson in Burberry; Kirsten Dunst in Rodarte; Taylor Swift in Ralph Lauren – I’m gonna declare Emma the winner of Bride Wars. She’s beautiful, the dress is beautiful, the cut is beautiful and there’s not really much more to it. There is a little more to Snaggletooth’s dress – more embellishment, more materials – that gives it a nice vintage feel, which suits Dunst down to the ground, but the clean lines of Watson’s dress still emerge victorious. And then you notice Snaggletooth’s 80s’ wedding shoes and lace popsocks and everything is ruined everyway. Taylor’s dress is signature Taylor – sweet, pretty, innocent – and the frills and lace and blonde ringlets have a bit of Georgian feel to them (the era, not the country). The whole look feels very angelic tragic Charles Dickens waif but that doesn’t make it any less successful. But who cares? My heart belongs to Hermione.

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Tagged best dressed, Blake Lively, Chanel Iman, Costume Institute Gala 2010, Emma Watson, fashion, Kate Bosworth, Kirsten Dunst, Kristen Bell, Met Ball 2010, Met Gala 2010, red carpet, Sienna Miller, Taylor Swift, Tina Fey, worst dressed

Red Carpet Rundown: Met Ball 2010, Part I

Posted on May 14, 2010 | Leave a comment

Perhaps it’s a little late to start my Met Ball Red Carpet Rundown. What can I say though – this was the largest collection of A-listers since The Oscars (better than The Oscars, in fact) and I’m only just recovering from being totally wowed by the couture on show. And that’s a nice way of saying that I have no idea what the Met Ball/Costume Institute Gala is actually meant to be for or to do other than to showcase pretty dresses. Here goes…

Maggie Gyllenhaal in Louis Vuitton – This was my favourite. I love how Gyllenhaal is so brave when it comes to her red carpet choices; she has her own style, sticks to it and doesn’t give a damn what others make of it. So whilst others bemoan the bin bag styling or complain her boobs look squished, I just think the dress itself is a beautiful architectural masterpiece and Maggie looks utterly fearless and fabulous. So there.

Thandie Newton in Vivienne Westwood – This is another dress that not many people seem to like but that I LOVE. Yes, in caps. Firstly, I can’t resist a bit of Dame Viv and this dress comes complete with her trademark ultra-flattering ruching. Secondly, I can’t resist a bit of purple, as was evident from me loving Sandra Bullock’s Quality Street wrapper moment. If I wanted any dress from the event, it was this one.

Rachel Bilson in Louis Vuitton – There really is no pleasing some people. This dress is obviously stupidly cute/pretty/gorgeous and still critics complained it ‘wasn’t event-appropriate’. Well, in my books, pretty dress = any event appropriate. I adore the romantic print and muted colours of this dress and the shape is so girlie and flattering to La Bilson. Who I love ridiculous amounts anyway. Now someone please give her a tv show so I can moon over her cute-as-a-button face on a weekly basis rather than looking like an obsessive by Googling her far too frequently.

Coca Rocha in Zac Posen – Everytime I declared a favourite, a new dress came along that knocked it out of the water. This Zac Posen creation was like all my mermaid fantasies got rolled into one and emerged as a beautiful frothy cascade of dreams. The colours are just mesmerising. We have a show-stopper, people – even if I have no idea who Rocha is and thought that was the name of that woman from The Kenny Everett Show.

Jennifer Lopez in Zuhair Murad; Anne Hathaway in Valentino – Every event needs a princess dress and Lopez and Hathaway duly obliged. And yes, Anne looked very pretty in shimmering cream, but when doesn’t she?! It’s a look she’s done countless times before so her looking lunar and milky and stunning is no surprise. Lopez’s face is desperately trying to bring the sex to this ballgown but it’s the beautifully beaded embroidery that makes this dress better than Hathaway’s. Hathaway’s was just random glitter – my kindergarten kids can scatter sequins liberally – but human hands probably bled to create the amazing leaf-shapes on Lopez’s gown. It’s for the sacrifice of human hands that I’m compelled to plump for Princess Jennifer on this occasion.

Mila Kunis in Vera Wang – Dear Vera, I want you to design my wedding dress (well, you’ll have to fight it out with Carolina Herrera). Obviously, I don’t want this dress as my wedding dress but it illustrates the reasons I’m a Wang fan. It’s belle of the ball stuff, with soft reams of netting and tulle, dramatic but romantic. Doesn’t hurt that Mila is almost as cute as Rachel Bilson… *feels another girl crush coming on* PS I love that Cleo Rocha’s train is visible in the background of this photo; let’s face it, it was so huge, there probably aren’t many photos where it’s not peeping in!

Naomi Watts in Stella McCartney – Just to prove a dress doesn’t have to be voluminous to be among my favourites, this McCartney gown is stunning. It’s all about the colour, a rich jewel-like cerise that looks amazing set against Naomi’s ivory complexion, blonde hair and classy lippie. I’ve just worked out why I love this dress so much – it’s the carbon copy of one of my favourite Barbie dresses from my Barbie sticker books that I loved so much I got my Mum to draw it for me several times. From the colour to that one-shoulder fan detail; I guess Stella had it when she was a kid too. I’m onto you, McCartney (and expect a Jem & The Holograms inspired collection next)!

Gwen Stefani in LAMB – The last of my batch of unadulterated ‘love it’s pales in comparison to most of the colours, spangles, flounces and trains seen elsewhere. But it’s Gwen Stefani and I’m morally bound by my idolatry of her to think everything she does is totally like… awesome. I love the simplicity of this glimmering pool of gold married with little edgy touches that befit the fact that Gwen rocks. Namely the visible underwear, somehow carried off without being tacky, and the delicate cobweb-by shoulder thing. All set off with Gwen’s usual retro-glam platinum hair and slash of scarlet lipstick.

Perhaps it’s a little late to start my Met Ball coverage. What can I say though – this was the largest collection of A-listers since The Oscars (better than The Oscars, in fact) and I’m only just recovering from being totally wowed by the couture on show. And that’s a nice way of saying that I have no idea what the Met Ball is actually meant to be for or to do other than to showcase pretty dresses. Here goes…

Maggie Gyllenhaal in Louis Vuitton – This was my favourite. I love how Gyllenhaal is so brave when it comes to her red carpet choices; she has her own style, sticks to it and doesn’t give a damn what others make of it. So whilst others bemoan the bin bag styling or complain her boobs look squished, I just think the dress itself is a beautiful architectural masterpiece and Maggie looks utterly fearless and fabulous. So there.

Thandie Newton in Vivienne Westwood – This is another dress that not many people seem to like but that I LOVE. Yes, in caps. Firstly, I can’t resist a bit of Dame Viv and this dress comes complete with her trademark ultra-flattering ruching. Secondly, I can’t resist a bit of purple, as was evident from me loving Sandra Bullock’s Quality Street wrapper moment. If I wanted any dress from the event, it was this one.

Rachel Bilson in Louis Vuitton – There really is no pleasing some people. This dress is obviously stupidly cute/pretty/gorgeous and still critics complained it ‘wasn’t event-appropriate’. Well, in my books, pretty dress = any event appropriate. I adore the romantic print and muted colours of this dress and the shape is so girlie and flattering to La Bilson. Who I love ridiculous amounts anyway. Now someone please give her a tv show so I can moon over her cute-as-a-button face on a weekly basis rather than looking like an obsessive by Googling her far too frequently.

Coca Rocha in Zac Posen – Well, everytime I declared a favourite, a new dress came along that knocked it out of the water. This Zac Posen creation was like all my mermaid fantasies got rolled into one and emerged as a beautiful frothy cascade of dreams. The colours are just mesmerising. We have a show-stopper, people – even if I have no idea who Rocha is and thought that was the name of that woman from The Kenny Everett Show.

Jennifer Lopez in Zuhair Murad – Every event needs a princess dress and Lopez and Anne Hathaway (in Valentino) duly obliged. And yes, Anne looked very pretty in shimmering white, but when doesn’t she?! It’s a look she’s done countless times before so her looking milky and stunning is no surprise. Lopez’s face is desperately trying to bring the sex to this ballgown but it’s the beautifully beaded embroidery that makes this dress better than Hathaway’s. Hathaway’s was just random glitter – my kindergarten kids can scatter sequins liberally – but human hands probably bled to create the amazing leaf-shapes on Lopez’s gown. It’s for the sacrifice of human hands that I’m compelled to plump for Princess Jennifer on this occasion.

Mila Kunis in Vera Wang – Dear Vera, I want you to design my wedding dress (well, you’ll have to fight it out with Carolina Herrera). Obviously, I don’t want this dress as my wedding dress but it illustrates the reasons I’m a Wang fan. It’s belle of the ball stuff, with soft reams of netting and tulle, dramatic but romantic. Doesn’t hurt that Mila is almost as cute as Rachel Bilson… *feels another girl crush coming on * PS I love that Cleo Rocha’s train is visible in the background of this photo; let’s face it, it was so huge, there probably aren’t many photos where it’s not peeping in!

Naomi Watts in Stella McCartney – Just to prove a dress doesn’t have to be voluminous to be among my favourites, this McCartney gown is stunning. It’s all about the colour, a rich jewel-like cerise that looks amazing set against Naomi’s ivory complexion, blonde hair and classy lippie. I’ve just worked out why I love this dress so much – it’s the carbon copy of one of my favourite Barbie dresses from my Barbie sticker books that I loved so much I got my Mum to draw it for me several times. From the colour to that one-shoulder fan detail; I guess Stella had it when she was a kid too. I’m onto you, McCartney (and expect a Jem & The Holograms inspired collection next)!

Gwen Stefani in LAMB – The last of my batch of unadulterated ‘love it’s pales in comparison to most of the colours, spangles, flounces and trains seen elsewhere. But it’s Gwen Stefani and I’m morally bound by my idolatry of her to think everything she does is totally like… awesome. I love the simplicity of this glimmering pool of gold married with little edgy touches that befit the fact that Gwen rocks. Namely the visible underwear, somehow carried off without being tacky, and the delicate cobweb-by shoulder thing. All set off with Gwen’s usual retro-glam platinum hair and slash of scarlet lipstick.