Tag Archives: Naomi Watts

Red Carpet Rundown: Met Gala 2011, Stella’s Stars

Posted on May 4, 2011 | Leave a comment

The Met Gala 2011 was supposed to be in honour of Alexander McQueen… so of course, the greatest number of people chose to wear Stella McCartney. Stella was co-chairing the event… then again, so was Colin Firth… and even though I love a lot of these gowns, I don’t think any of them fit the theme of Savage Beauty. Do you?

Can you believe this is the same woman who was last seen out-slutting her teenage daughter by showing off her bare ass at a post-Oscars party? This is the best Madonna has looked in ages – classy, sophisticated yet far from being contrived or boring. This steely blue colour looks brilliant on her, especially combined with those perfectly-coiffed golden waves, and I love the silver stars that trail their way down her back and onto her train.

Iman looks a bit like Ru Paul. And if you aren’t a fan of high campery and heavy trashtastic-ness, then bling-covered jumpsuits probably aren’t for you. Then again, you’re no shrinking violet if you managed to snag Ziggy Stardust as a hubbie and you can’t deny she is working the hell out of it and looking fiercely Amazonian anyway. And what’s the perfect accessory to gold sequins, a blaze of golden hair and glowing golden skin? A gold belt buckle, of course. Duh.

I’ve long been a fan of Maggie Gyllenhaal’s red carpet style – she has an easy grown-up grace about her that doesn’t seem too try-hard – and this is another winner in my book. I adore the oceanic blue glitter and the unusual neckline, although I’m slightly concerned by the lack of bra and consequently, the nipple standing to attention that seems to follow my gaze. I know I applauded her lack of try-hardiness but there are limits…

This is such a standard Gwyneth Paltrow gown that it bores me to boring beige tears. A simple nude sheath dress, there’s no doubt it’s super-flattering and suits her but seriously, the carpet is more savage than anything in this look.

Eva Mendes is one of those people that just doesn’t excite me on the red carpet and this isn’t really any exception. This royal blue one-sleeved number has that whole 70s boho aesthetic that McCartney was channelling last season and I love the sense of movement and volume Mendes is bringing for photos, but it feels a bit too carefree and casual for *the* fashion event of the year. If what you really need to set your outfit off is a big floppy sun-hat, you know it probably just isn’t cutting it.

Another super-pretty dress, another complete lack of savageness. I’m gonna stop harping on about it now. I do love the ethereal fairy dust aspect of Naomi Watts’ gown but I feel like I saw it all before with Mandy Moore at this year’s Oscars.

When did Kate Hudson get this pregnant?! Last time I looked, it was a mere bump in the road but now it looks like she’s smuggling watermelons Phoebe-style. The long wavy hair, the embellished bodice and the fishtail train are saying one thing to me – mermaid. That and the sea-shell she stuck on top of her head. I guess there are worse things you can look like than a heavily pregnant mermaid on her wedding day and she’s doing her usual Goldie Hawn-inherited Kate Hudson thing by looking glowy and pretty regardless. At least it looks vaguely comfortable and easy to sit down and pee in, which were probably greater concerns for Kate than say… Daphne Guinness.

Thandie Newton is one of my serial style crushes and as ever, she’s giving me flawless face. I love the top half of this dress, with the deep V-neck with scalloped edging, but I’m not sure about the bottom half. I know it isn’t really her underwear I can see, but I still feel it’s improper of me to look.

I find Rihanna’s dress oddly unflattering, like a jumpsuit that someone has opened up the legs of – and you haven’t even seen the tacky see-through slit down the side yet, which proved lots of fun for the photographers when she bent down to fiddle with her train. Well, I say see-through, it looked more like support tights… Yet that isn’t my main issue. Even from here, through a photograph comprised of pixels on a computer screen, that braid boasts more synthetic material than a Primark sale. I’ve loved Rihanna’s flaming red tresses with some of her more colourful outrageous looks, but it just looks fake and cheap here. Pippi Longstocking would not be impressed.

The problem with everyone wearing the same designer is that things start to get a bit repetitive. So that intricate swirling lace pattern that’s providing interest on Kate Winslet’s gown entirely take over Hailee Steinfeld’s, albeit in a different colour (seen on Amber Valetta’s dress too). Meanwhile, the black lace aspect of Winslet’s gown is also reminiscent of Thandie’s and Rihanna’s outfits too.

Kate Winslet’s dress is elegant, classy and sophisticated but it must be the hundredth time she’s rocked this whole ‘simple black gown with random areas of interest’ look and I miss the Winslet who used to wear bright red Ben de Lisi or mint green Alice Temperley or electric blue Narsico Rodriguez. Guess the colour-loving part of her got airbrushed away with that last magazine cover.

Hailee Steinfeld swept everyone away with her sweet fresh style this awards season but this may be her first serious misstep. I think it would be pretty cute sans train but, overall, it just feels too heavy for her.

So it looks like Stella McCartney saved the most savage of her gowns for herself. Sadly, it’s just a bizarre Project Runway challenge – to make a dress out of a penguin costume. Seems there’s a reason I’ve never seen a neckline shaped like that before. I happily await the gif where someone superimposes a nun’s face over her legs.

Pictures: Just Jared, Style.com, Look.co.uk, Socialite Life, Huffington Post Style

Red Carpet Rundown: 2011 Oscar Parties, Part II

Posted on March 17, 2011 | Leave a comment

Having reamed you in with some shameless titillation via the black lace brigade at the Oscars 2011 Parties, here’s some more outfits, from the bizarre to the beautiful with just about everything in-between. Since I’m still feeling grubby from seeing Madonna’s butt cheeks, do you mind if we start with the beautiful?

Anne Hathaway in Versace – So the pattern is a cross between a Celtic knot and the etchings on Xena The Warrior Princess’ breastplates but I still love it. The darker shade of red is gorgeous, it flows beautifully and it’s not a typical Anne Hathaway princess dress. Although she did deserve one for propping up a stoned James Franco for four hours.

Juliette Lewis in Georges Hobeika Couture – Calling Juliette Lewis… you know, ker-azy Juliette Lewis who shows up at events with Native American head-dresses, dodgy home dye jobs and does a ‘rock on’ gesture whilst sticking her tongue out for photos? I’m not sure that that Juliette Lewis would recognise this dignified creature but hey, sophistication suits her well. Ever since Kate Middleton wore that royal blue Issa engagement dress, I’ve been all over this shade like the royal couple over commemorative tableware. It’s a simple timeless shape that flatters and let’s the colour do the work. Which it does. Gorgeous.

Charlize Theron in Atelier Versace – There are times when Charlize Theron’s aura of perfection grates and there are times when all you can do is sigh pathetically and let her get on with being too perfect for the likes of us mere mortals. Had she attended the Oscars themselves, she would have been easily amongst the best dressed with this effortlessly gorgeous gown. It’s clean enough to be classically beautiful but with just the right amount of embellishment to stop it being boring and actually improve on simplicity. Flawless hair, flawless make-up… what else is there to say? She could probably wear this inside out and still look just as good (Arrested Development reference ahoy!).

Anna Paquin in Monique Lhullier – Initially, I thought this dress was boring and wasn’t going to write about it. Since then, I’ve decided I love it, want it and won’t rest until I’ve claimed a cheap high street knock-off of it. I love the romantic ruffles of the flamenco-esque skirt, I love the criss-cross and thus super-flattering bodice with its wide shoulder straps and I love Anna’s mini-quiff. It’s not quite as daring as her outfits last awards season but it’s subtly crept up and become one of my favourite looks from the event. Sneaky work, Sooki.

Naomi Watts in Zac Posen – Heading now for the bizarre, thanks to this dress, which makes Naomi look like she has a vagina somewhere around her midriff. This has distracted both us and her from the fact that a Muppet has attached itself to her backside. I normally love Naomi’s classy style but this is odd.

Anika Noni Rose – What was this, ‘Bring Your Muppet To Work Day’? Another bizarre ensemble, and I’m not sure whether I’m more fascinated by the Fraggle Rock puppet clinging to her side or the strange distortion in the dress that makes it look like Anika has a strangely high, material-sucking belly button. Is that better or worse than a strangely high vagina? I’ll leave you to decide.

Bryce Dallas Howard – Whenever I see this dress I want to sing. Songs like I Can Hear The Bells from Hairspray. Or ‘I’m getting married in the morning… DING DONG! The bells are going to chime!’ (from My Fair Lady and yes, I watch too many musicals). Or even ‘Oranges and lemons, say the bells of St Clements’. Are you getting the common theme yet? In short, it’s not singing through happiness but because Bryce looks like a giant blue bell. And that warrants not a Leslie Phillips ‘ding doooong’ but a sad trombone instead.

Rashida Jones in Valentino – ‘Oh Mr Rochester, I’m sorry to awaken you from your slumber but your batshit crazy wife has just set fire to my bedroom, thus my greeting you in my nightgown.’

Elizabeth Banks in Versace – Elizabeth Banks normally belongs to my holy parallelogram of red carpet bores (alongside Kate Bosworth, Jessica Alba and Jessica Biel) but this dress is just shimmery cuteness in a peroxide blonde bottle. The mesh overlay, creating long sleeves and more restrained neckline, keeps things a little more modern and edgy on what is essentially a bog-standard school disco spangly mini (admittedly one covered in Swarovski crystals).

Rosario Dawson in Diane Von Furstenberg – If you ever wondered what Donna Summer wears to slouch around the house, here’s Rosario Dawson with what everyone hopes is the answer – a disco bathrobe. And despite the fact that it’s electric blue, glitters and seems to be two very different lengths either side, Dawson still reduces it to meh. Let’s make that a holy pentagon of boring, shall we?

Jessica Biel in Atelier Versace – Another member from the clan of yawn makes an appearance, although I actually quite like this dress. I love the intricate criss-crossing of the shoulder straps and the geometric art-deco feel of the pattern itself, but there must be some irony to the fact that an actress who personifies beige looks her best in a dress that’s various shades of the colour?

Claire Danes in Calvin Klein – These are clearly monastic robes for a community who make their own tofu, knock out the lotus position before they can crawl and hand-rear goats whose wool they can then use for scratchy knitwear. Claire would have protested against wearing it but they all take vows of silences too. So she’ll just have to put up with looking like a sanctimonious cult member instead.

Red Carpet Rundown: Met Ball 2010, Part I

Posted on May 14, 2010 | Leave a comment

Perhaps it’s a little late to start my Met Ball Red Carpet Rundown. What can I say though – this was the largest collection of A-listers since The Oscars (better than The Oscars, in fact) and I’m only just recovering from being totally wowed by the couture on show. And that’s a nice way of saying that I have no idea what the Met Ball/Costume Institute Gala is actually meant to be for or to do other than to showcase pretty dresses. Here goes…

Maggie Gyllenhaal in Louis Vuitton – This was my favourite. I love how Gyllenhaal is so brave when it comes to her red carpet choices; she has her own style, sticks to it and doesn’t give a damn what others make of it. So whilst others bemoan the bin bag styling or complain her boobs look squished, I just think the dress itself is a beautiful architectural masterpiece and Maggie looks utterly fearless and fabulous. So there.

Thandie Newton in Vivienne Westwood – This is another dress that not many people seem to like but that I LOVE. Yes, in caps. Firstly, I can’t resist a bit of Dame Viv and this dress comes complete with her trademark ultra-flattering ruching. Secondly, I can’t resist a bit of purple, as was evident from me loving Sandra Bullock’s Quality Street wrapper moment. If I wanted any dress from the event, it was this one.

Rachel Bilson in Louis Vuitton – There really is no pleasing some people. This dress is obviously stupidly cute/pretty/gorgeous and still critics complained it ‘wasn’t event-appropriate’. Well, in my books, pretty dress = any event appropriate. I adore the romantic print and muted colours of this dress and the shape is so girlie and flattering to La Bilson. Who I love ridiculous amounts anyway. Now someone please give her a tv show so I can moon over her cute-as-a-button face on a weekly basis rather than looking like an obsessive by Googling her far too frequently.

Coca Rocha in Zac Posen – Everytime I declared a favourite, a new dress came along that knocked it out of the water. This Zac Posen creation was like all my mermaid fantasies got rolled into one and emerged as a beautiful frothy cascade of dreams. The colours are just mesmerising. We have a show-stopper, people – even if I have no idea who Rocha is and thought that was the name of that woman from The Kenny Everett Show.

Jennifer Lopez in Zuhair Murad; Anne Hathaway in Valentino – Every event needs a princess dress and Lopez and Hathaway duly obliged. And yes, Anne looked very pretty in shimmering cream, but when doesn’t she?! It’s a look she’s done countless times before so her looking lunar and milky and stunning is no surprise. Lopez’s face is desperately trying to bring the sex to this ballgown but it’s the beautifully beaded embroidery that makes this dress better than Hathaway’s. Hathaway’s was just random glitter – my kindergarten kids can scatter sequins liberally – but human hands probably bled to create the amazing leaf-shapes on Lopez’s gown. It’s for the sacrifice of human hands that I’m compelled to plump for Princess Jennifer on this occasion.

Mila Kunis in Vera Wang – Dear Vera, I want you to design my wedding dress (well, you’ll have to fight it out with Carolina Herrera). Obviously, I don’t want this dress as my wedding dress but it illustrates the reasons I’m a Wang fan. It’s belle of the ball stuff, with soft reams of netting and tulle, dramatic but romantic. Doesn’t hurt that Mila is almost as cute as Rachel Bilson… *feels another girl crush coming on* PS I love that Cleo Rocha’s train is visible in the background of this photo; let’s face it, it was so huge, there probably aren’t many photos where it’s not peeping in!

Naomi Watts in Stella McCartney – Just to prove a dress doesn’t have to be voluminous to be among my favourites, this McCartney gown is stunning. It’s all about the colour, a rich jewel-like cerise that looks amazing set against Naomi’s ivory complexion, blonde hair and classy lippie. I’ve just worked out why I love this dress so much – it’s the carbon copy of one of my favourite Barbie dresses from my Barbie sticker books that I loved so much I got my Mum to draw it for me several times. From the colour to that one-shoulder fan detail; I guess Stella had it when she was a kid too. I’m onto you, McCartney (and expect a Jem & The Holograms inspired collection next)!

Gwen Stefani in LAMB – The last of my batch of unadulterated ‘love it’s pales in comparison to most of the colours, spangles, flounces and trains seen elsewhere. But it’s Gwen Stefani and I’m morally bound by my idolatry of her to think everything she does is totally like… awesome. I love the simplicity of this glimmering pool of gold married with little edgy touches that befit the fact that Gwen rocks. Namely the visible underwear, somehow carried off without being tacky, and the delicate cobweb-by shoulder thing. All set off with Gwen’s usual retro-glam platinum hair and slash of scarlet lipstick.

Perhaps it’s a little late to start my Met Ball coverage. What can I say though – this was the largest collection of A-listers since The Oscars (better than The Oscars, in fact) and I’m only just recovering from being totally wowed by the couture on show. And that’s a nice way of saying that I have no idea what the Met Ball is actually meant to be for or to do other than to showcase pretty dresses. Here goes…

Maggie Gyllenhaal in Louis Vuitton – This was my favourite. I love how Gyllenhaal is so brave when it comes to her red carpet choices; she has her own style, sticks to it and doesn’t give a damn what others make of it. So whilst others bemoan the bin bag styling or complain her boobs look squished, I just think the dress itself is a beautiful architectural masterpiece and Maggie looks utterly fearless and fabulous. So there.

Thandie Newton in Vivienne Westwood – This is another dress that not many people seem to like but that I LOVE. Yes, in caps. Firstly, I can’t resist a bit of Dame Viv and this dress comes complete with her trademark ultra-flattering ruching. Secondly, I can’t resist a bit of purple, as was evident from me loving Sandra Bullock’s Quality Street wrapper moment. If I wanted any dress from the event, it was this one.

Rachel Bilson in Louis Vuitton – There really is no pleasing some people. This dress is obviously stupidly cute/pretty/gorgeous and still critics complained it ‘wasn’t event-appropriate’. Well, in my books, pretty dress = any event appropriate. I adore the romantic print and muted colours of this dress and the shape is so girlie and flattering to La Bilson. Who I love ridiculous amounts anyway. Now someone please give her a tv show so I can moon over her cute-as-a-button face on a weekly basis rather than looking like an obsessive by Googling her far too frequently.

Coca Rocha in Zac Posen – Well, everytime I declared a favourite, a new dress came along that knocked it out of the water. This Zac Posen creation was like all my mermaid fantasies got rolled into one and emerged as a beautiful frothy cascade of dreams. The colours are just mesmerising. We have a show-stopper, people – even if I have no idea who Rocha is and thought that was the name of that woman from The Kenny Everett Show.

Jennifer Lopez in Zuhair Murad – Every event needs a princess dress and Lopez and Anne Hathaway (in Valentino) duly obliged. And yes, Anne looked very pretty in shimmering white, but when doesn’t she?! It’s a look she’s done countless times before so her looking milky and stunning is no surprise. Lopez’s face is desperately trying to bring the sex to this ballgown but it’s the beautifully beaded embroidery that makes this dress better than Hathaway’s. Hathaway’s was just random glitter – my kindergarten kids can scatter sequins liberally – but human hands probably bled to create the amazing leaf-shapes on Lopez’s gown. It’s for the sacrifice of human hands that I’m compelled to plump for Princess Jennifer on this occasion.

Mila Kunis in Vera Wang – Dear Vera, I want you to design my wedding dress (well, you’ll have to fight it out with Carolina Herrera). Obviously, I don’t want this dress as my wedding dress but it illustrates the reasons I’m a Wang fan. It’s belle of the ball stuff, with soft reams of netting and tulle, dramatic but romantic. Doesn’t hurt that Mila is almost as cute as Rachel Bilson… *feels another girl crush coming on * PS I love that Cleo Rocha’s train is visible in the background of this photo; let’s face it, it was so huge, there probably aren’t many photos where it’s not peeping in!

Naomi Watts in Stella McCartney – Just to prove a dress doesn’t have to be voluminous to be among my favourites, this McCartney gown is stunning. It’s all about the colour, a rich jewel-like cerise that looks amazing set against Naomi’s ivory complexion, blonde hair and classy lippie. I’ve just worked out why I love this dress so much – it’s the carbon copy of one of my favourite Barbie dresses from my Barbie sticker books that I loved so much I got my Mum to draw it for me several times. From the colour to that one-shoulder fan detail; I guess Stella had it when she was a kid too. I’m onto you, McCartney (and expect a Jem & The Holograms inspired collection next)!

Gwen Stefani in LAMB – The last of my batch of unadulterated ‘love it’s pales in comparison to most of the colours, spangles, flounces and trains seen elsewhere. But it’s Gwen Stefani and I’m morally bound by my idolatry of her to think everything she does is totally like… awesome. I love the simplicity of this glimmering pool of gold married with little edgy touches that befit the fact that Gwen rocks. Namely the visible underwear, somehow carried off without being tacky, and the delicate cobweb-by shoulder thing. All set off with Gwen’s usual retro-glam platinum hair and slash of scarlet lipstick.