Tag Archives: Kristen Stewart

Red Carpet Rundown: Met Gala 2011, The Best of the Rest

Oh my God, you guys! We made it! You made it! I made it! My final post on the Met Gala 2011. I thought the day would never come! All the rest of my posts were themed, but this is basically my brain throwing its arms up and saying ‘Enough!’

Emma Roberts in Michael Kors – Wow. For me, this is the best Emma Roberts has ever looked on the red carpet. Normally, her style is quite young and fresh but here she just oozes class, sophistication and maturity. I love the sneaky cut-out exposing just the tiniest ray of flesh – so sexy but still elegant. The hair is Kate Middleton perfect and the contrast vamp of the red nails is just the frosting on top of the cupcake.

Kristen Bell and Isla Fisher in Tory Burch – Two of my favourite girls in two of the most boring dresses. They don’t do anything much wrong but they don’t do anything much right either. That puff of smoke is me forgetting about them already.

Ginnifer Goodwin in Topshop – Some folk are up in arms that Ginnifer dared to wear Topshop to the Met. Did these people stop and actually look at the dress?! Honestly, if they weren’t told, I doubt they’d guess this wasn’t couture; it more than holds it own against the other gowns, if not bettering most of them. An amazing striking emerald green, a fantastic cut and all being sold with utter conviction by Ginnifer, who makes it look couture-worthy. I get a real Studio 54 vibe from this dress, the kind of thing Jerry Hall might have seduced Mick Jagger with on a yacht party. Arguably the matching necklace and eye make-up are slight overkill and I’m not sure what’s going on with the orthopaedic sandal, but the dress itself is a winner. [Meanwhile, the one no-one cares about from Gossip Girl also wore Topshop and instead looked like she took a wrong turn on her way to Gatecrasher.]

Evan Rachel Wood in Gucci Premiere – The gown is gorgeous. A wonderful, rarely-seen smoky aubergine colour, with a smattering of tasteful sparkle and a truly beautiful unusual neckline. But what’s with the Tin Tin quiff? There’s something about Wood that I just can’t get fully on board with; I find her persona quite contrived and vaguely smug, unlike say Dita Von Teese or Gwen Stefani who often do the 1950s screen siren too and feel like they’re living it rather than just playing a part. Sad to say Evan herself is the only thing stopping me from fully loving this look.

Rosie Huntingdon-Whiteley in Burberry – It’s pink. It’s shiny. It’s tacky. But it’s Rosie Huntingdon-Whiteley. And so it just became fabulous.

Dianna Agron in Michael Kors – On Through The Looking Glass, you’ve seen me fall in love with Dianna’s exquisite elegant Waspy style… and then rapidly fall out of love with it but a few weeks later. Well, I’m back on board with this baby! It’s a departure from her usual tea-dress and princess-hair combinations but this sort of chic simplicity suits her. A striking colour, an unusual neckline, an outfit-elevating gold cuff (less Wonder Woman, more Greek goddess) and whoever made the decision to pull that hair back into a sleek ponytail absolutely deserves an extra chocolate digestive with their cuppa tonight.

Lea Michele in Escada – Lea usually brings the drama to match her diva reputation but this gown is doing nothing for me… or her. The neckline is odd to the point of looking a little evil and stabby, the shape is too standard in a night of show-stealing gowns and even she looks rather unconvinced by it all. Fabulous clutch though.

Frieda Pinto in Chanel – I’ve not liked a single Chanel look this Met Gala (Kirsten Dunst, Blake Lively, Anna Wintour), although Frieda is just about radiant enough to make this look not as spectacularly stupid an idea as a skinny tie over a slinky gown should be. That neckline is unusual and beautiful enough to not need the tie frippery but now all I can think about when I see it is Avril Lavigne. And me thinking about Avril Lavigne is not conductive to me having any positive emotions whatsoever. Everything else about the look – the hair, the red lips, the fluidity of the fabric – is fantastic yet the tie?! Even a badly-dressed Apprentice candidate would shudder.

Michelle Williams in Miu Miu – The last time we saw Michelle Williams, she was wearing a shower curtain and not wearing a bra so just about anything would be an improvement on that. As it is, I think this is gown is actually rather wonderful. The gold swallow embroidery is done just the right amount without starting to look like a scene from The Birds and works to enhance rather than smother what is essentially an immaculately-cut black gown. Still hate the frumpy and middle-aged hair but I’ll take the dress to go, thanks!

Kristen Stewart in Proenza Schouler – I defended Kristen through the dark days where she’d scuttle down the red carpet like she was Viola from The Incredibles and now look… she’s smiling, no longer a hunchback and what’s this, maybe even a hint of red carpet posing too?! I’m so proud! I always prefer Kristen’s edgier ensembles to when she tries (and generally fails) to play it safe so this Proenza Schouler is a very good choice for her, with red and black always looking great against her colouring. Overall, I think it’s a really clean, modern, funky look (and I’ve obviously got an obsession with cuffs creeping in as I love them here too) – and for that reason, I wish it stopped somewhere nearer the knee area. But I’m more excited about seeing Kristen pull S-bends, smizing and giving fierce eyes in the near future. Too soon??

Amy Adams in L’Wren Scott – I love this dress on Amy; she looks about five thousand feet tall in this photo! I’ve not always been a fan of L’Wren Scott’s designs, as I feel the demure lengths and cuts tend to age some wearers, but this is great. The colour might be pretty delicate blush but the print is something a little more savage – it reminds me of the wild garden of thorns that Prince Philip had to hack his way through to awaken Sleeping Beauty with true love’s kiss. Connection to my (joint) favourite Disney movie of all-time? Check. Worn by a real-life Disney princess? Check again. All this, plus a disarmingly lovely milkmaid braid? How could I not love it?!

Isabel Lucas in Louis Vuitton – I like the dress, it’s a zingy watermelon colour that pops against the rest of proceedings, the pleating is pretty and those little gold bow-shaped studs are super-cute. But no-one’s looking at the dress. They’re looking at the bizarre virgin sacrifice adornment perched on top of Isabel’s head. Never has Coco Chanel’s advice about looking in the mirror and taking one piece off seemed more apt. And no, Isabel, before you start trying to put down that gorgeous gold ingot of a bag – it’s the headdress that needs to go! But practically the only thing I remember Isabel for – and it certainly ain’t her films – is always having one piece of utter insanity about her look, be it a sweatband, a strange hat, floral harem pants, odd coloured tights, eyebrows the wrong colour and, most memorably, a parasol. Charming or infuriating, it is her USP and let’s face it, a starlet needs one these days. It’s more than Kate Bosworth’s got anyhow.

The Olsens in Givenchy & Christian Dior – One day, the world will wake up and realise that the Olsen twins have been playing out a real life re-telling of the Emperor’s New Clothes. I don’t “get” Chloe Sevigny or Alexa Chung’s style, but I sort of understand why people do. But the Olsens? They generally look old – great-grandma made homeless and smelly old – with minor drug addict undertones. I also do not know which one is which and don’t wish to waste valuable seconds of my life in finding out so let’s just say that the one in the shapeless red designer potato sack looks better, basically just because she doesn’t look ill. The other one is wearing Barbara Cartland armbands as a style statement and looks like she has consumption. I’m sure they’re really nice people in real life…

Christina Hendricks in Carolina Herrera – I can’t remember the last time I saw Christina look good in anything other than a publicity shot for Mad Men. Suffice to say, adress with  a Dulux colour chart as its bodice and a really ugly oil painting that used to hang in my house as its bottom, is not going to break that chain. I’m intrigued by how they’ve managed to put sleeves on what the fashion gods surely intended to be a strapless sleeveless dress, but intrigued in a way that I want it solving on How 2 rather than in a ‘Wow, isn’t that fabulous way!’ way. Her skin looks beautiful though.

Zoe Saldana in Calvin Klein – And here’s how to do simple but stunning. This lemon yellow simple shift is like a palette cleanser to all the insanity that has gone before it and Zoe just looks like she’s skipped right out of a spring meadow smelling of daisies. I love the carefree cascading hair whilst the addition of a gold necklace peps up proceedings a little. It helps that no-one else wore this colour and that no-one else dared to play it quite this minimalist but when you’ve got a gorgeous girl in a gorgeous dress, very little can go wrong.

Kerry Washington in Escada – Did I mention that I like turquoise? Lucky Kerry therefore gets an easy pass for this relatively uncomplicated outfit, although those ultra-slimming cut-outs are a neat touch. Is the sea-foam shade plus the bubblegum pink lipstick plus the Monica humidity hair a bit too beach-ready? Oh screw it, her little Borrower clutch bag is too cute. Run by quick, before I change my mind.

Michelle Monaghan in Derek Lam – Is it me or has having a fringe completely changed Michelle Monaghan’s face? I showed some pictures of her plus bangs to my boyfriend and he swore that it wasn’t her. This gown is pulling a Zoe Saldana on me in making its minimalism work by way of a strong colour, although I like the shape less than Saldana’s. I’d even call it slightly austere-looking were it not for the fact that it is in bubblegum pink and calling anything bubblegum pink austere is just plain ridiculous. But the colour looks great against her hair and I love the contrast of the dark nails too. Am I still not convinced that this is Michelle Monaghan? Totally.

Elizabeth Banks in Tommy Hilfiger – I’ve mentioned a few times how Elizabeth Banks does absolutely nothing for me and yet every time I’ve featured her, she has duly decided to look stunning. Maybe I should send some curses Christina Hendricks’ way instead. This dress is just gorgeous. It’s that really yellow shade of gold that just looks so new and shiny and Midas-kissed that it bypasses all my vital senses and speaks straight to my inner Abu (you know, when he stuffs all the treasure down his top in the cave in Aladdin). Hair, make-up, jewellery – all flawless, all 50s screen siren worthy. So could you at least look happy about it, love?

Joy Bryant & Margherita Missoni in Missoni – Yes, your eyes do not deceive you, you are seeing knitwear at the Met Gala. Of course, colourful knitwear that looks like a Magic Eye painting is Missoni’s calling card (and yes, that is the second time I’ve name-checked Magic Eyes in these posts, high five!) so we shouldn’t really expect anything else from the designer. Joy’s still feels a little too casual, although I would definitely be interested in tasting the tropical cocktail that it was inspired by. Meanwhile, I am slightly in love with Margherita’s gown, a pretty pastel concoction that reminds me of Easter eggs. I’d change the slightly cheap-looking belt and give her a more romantic playful hair-do but otherwise, I’m picking Easter eggs over a Singapore Sling. Who’d have thunk?

Mila Jovovich & Anouck Lepere in Marni – The jury’s out on whether these dresses are a little too casual for the Met Gala but I really like both of them nonetheless. As ever, Mila is badass and WORKING hers like it’s the only LBD worth owning (and that embroidery is sooo pretty) whilst I love how Anouck has accessorised hers. It turns a dress with a print that looks like corporate artwork into something very funky and fashion and her loose waves are glorious. I actually want to wear both of these dresses, which despite my love for it, is not something I could say about Christina Ricci’s cobwebby confection.

Karlie Kloss & Angela Lindvall in Dior – Karlie Kloss is allegedly only 17 and gets to wear a stunning, gold, glittery Dior dress and look more self-assured and confident than most people in their thirties. (Angela Lindvall doesn’t look too shabby either.) Life sometimes really does seem unfair, right?!

P.S. Since I normally split my posts into favourites but haven’t here, plus you know I love lists, here’s my best-dressed from the event: 1) Gisele Bundchen 2) Diane Kruger 3) Liv Tyler 4) Chanel Iman 5) Christina Ricci, with honorable mentions going to Hilary Rhoda, Karolina Kurkova, Emma Roberts, Madonna, Zoe Saldana and SJP. And now I really am DONE!

Pictures: Just Jared, Style.com, Look.co.uk, Socialite Life, Huffington Post Style

Red Carpet Rundown: People’s Choice Awards 2011, Part III

The final part of my rundown of People’s Choice Awards 2011 fashions and finally… people I’ve heard of! Is it coincidence that they’re generally better-dressed? It is also coincidence that so few walked the red carpet, complete with the ‘People’s Choice’ shower curtains in the background?

Leighton Meester in Vionnet – My best-dressed at this event was Leighton Meester. But a few short months ago, Leighton would have been on the second list, a name that I saw continually cropping up on the fashion pages alongside Blake Lively but without me having a clue who she was. But I finally started watching Gossip Girl and Leighton is clearly the best thing about the show… and her dress sense ain’t too shabby either. Her style is generally a bit more interesting than Lively’s, a bit girlier and a lot more unpredictable. This dress is so unassumingly pretty, with a naïve handmade feel that made me tumble head over heels for it. I love the flattering ruched neckline, I love the gauzy quality of the grey over the subtle flash of the yellow, I love the appliquéd flowers, I love those peachy drop earring and I love Leighton’s stunning natural make-up, especially those smoky eyes. In short, total swoon.
Boyfriend says: Leighton has come straight from playgroup. Looks like there are food stains on that too too. [Suddenly, I don’t like this feature anymore…]

Kristen Stewart in Reem Acra – How awesome is this photo of Kristen Stewart? She looks like some blissed-out goddess, with nary a trace of the awkward teenager in sight. This gold sequin mini was an obvious choice for Stewart (can’t remember the last time she didn’t bring out the pins) but also, a more unusual choice as she tends to favour darker colours. It’s a total winner though – so glittery and gorgeous that it’s a real shame she denied it its red carpet moment. I love the subtlety of the nude satin back, which turns it from High Street to high fashion. It makes her look like the total star she is – and about time too. Embrace it, K. Stew!
Boyfriend says: A bit tranny-ish.

Taylor Swift in J. Mendel – Actually, the gold spangly number is more of a Taylor Swift thing. The former magpie of the red carpet (she could never resist anything shiny), Swift is finally branching out and discovering that amazing things happen when she does. After Minka and Leighton, this was my next favourite look from the awards. As the amazing Red Carpet Fashion Awards pointed out, there’s something very Rodarte inspired about this dainty blush gown – I’m gonna stick my head out and say it’s the slightly deconstructed nature to the delicate fabric. It fits in perfectly with the Black Swan ballerina fever (or should I call it bird flu?!) going round at the moment; Taylor’s even got a bit of a dancer’s pose going on too! But this is a signature look for her – sweet, innocent, demure – and she looks stunning.
Boyfriend says: I agree with the ballerina theme.

Katy Perry in Betsy Johnson – Imagine you asked your six year-old self what she would wear to the Oscars. You have this dress. Honestly, this shade of purple seems to do weird things to me where I lose all objectivity to any gown that features it (remember Sandra Bullock’s beloved Quality Street moment?) but this is sooooo pretty and girlie and just… gush… love. It’s all big flouncy skirt, lilac ruffles, veins of electric blue and Perry just looks like she loves wearing it. What’s more, the fuchsia peeptoes are amazing, as is the slash of bubblegum pink lipstick, as is the second pose. If Taylor Swift was butter-wouldn’t melt ballerina, then Perry is the ballerina butter-wouldn’t melt ballerina really wanted to be. My inner six year-old just did an excited hand-clappy dance.
Boyfriend says: Too much.

Jennifer Aniston in Dolce & Gabanna – Yes, most of us have been dying for Jennifer Aniston to step out of her style rut. But is this the look we were dreaming of? I highly doubt it. Women working menswear is meant to be an edgy cool look so I’m not entirely sure how Aniston has managed to make this look so safe, drab and 90s – the waistcoat looks like it was stolen from Chandler’s wardrobe on early Friends (or indeed, Penn Badgley and his never-ending parade of old man clothes on Gossip Girl). I don’t think it’s flattering, I don’t think it’s exciting and compared to every outfit I’ve featured (yes, even Tiffany Hines!), it’s just downright dull. That’s why I needed two pictures of Katy Perry – to plug the energy vortex Aniston had created! I’m sure Jen has a few more tricks up her sleeve, but this just ain’t it. Oh well. At least she looks better than she did in The Switch.
Boyfriend says: Just no.

Red Carpet Rundown: Met Ball 2010, Part III

So far we’ve had my favourites, my err… other favourites and Tina Fey. I guess it’s about time we gave Tina’s sacked stylist some company at the job centre.

Vera Farmiga in Sophie Theallet – Ugliest dress of the night that wasn’t actively trying to be ugly. The bottom half, which finds ever-increasing ways to zig-zag Farmiga’s body in as unflattering a way as possible, is particularly nasty. Get back to your saloon in the Wild West, Vera!

Christina Hendricks in L’Wren Scott – It wasn’t a good night for baby blue, was it? It was nice of Christina to bring her baby falcon with her for company. Of course, no one is looking at the baby falcon or the strange orange  make-up or the oddly frizzy up-do. They’re looking at her breasts. It’s for looks like this that the fact ‘breasts’ is only one letter away from ‘beasts’ seems so appropriate.

January Jones in YSL – Hendricks’ eye make-up clearly has nothing on that of her Mad Men co-star. There’s so much of it, it actually looks like a superhero mask. Aided with the concrete quiff, cat burglar gloves and garish colour contrast between shiny 80s prom dress pink and black iron balcony railings, she could definitely be a superhero of some sort. One of those self-made ones out of Kick-Ass maybe. I can only presume Jones is rebelling against being sooooo pretty as Betty by looking freakish in real-life. In which case, result!

Katy Perry in CuteCircuit – I’m loath to put a picture of Perry in because by doing so, that’s giving her the attention she wants. And attention-seeking is the only reason anyone would choose to wear this gown. It’s not a gown, it’s a party trick. It lights up! In neon colours! That’s like so cool… if you’re six years old and they’re glow-in-the-dark stickers you put on your ceiling to look like space. The light display would be by-the-by if it was actually a nice dress. But it isn’t. It’s cheap-looking, shapeless and looks like it was made from scrunched-up nappies. Thankfully unsoiled. Small mercies.

Kristen Stewart in Chanel – Unlike so many fashion critics, I have so much goodwill towards Kristen. I find her awkwardness endearing, even when it means outfits don’t look as nice as they should because she’s standing like Quasmido with the facial expression of someone about to have their photo taken… oh no, what, you took it just now?! But I wasn’t ready! But I can’t muster up much goodwill towards this dress. Remember the old saying about people so attractive that they’d look good in a bin bag? Well, here Chanel put that to the test and um… let’s put that saying to bed, shall we? But that’s not the main issue – what is going on at the bottom? It looks like it’s from a different (also not very nice) dress. The only consolation is that it looked equally horrid on the runway.

Carey Mulligan in Miu Miu – Since Mulligan is British and fairly new to the red carpet, I imagine she also had no idea what or who the Met Ball was. You thought Rachel Bilson wasn’t ‘event-appropriate’? Well, you’ll be weeping into your lace hankies at this. I actually like this dress a lot – it’s very cute, the floral embroidery is just lovely and it really works with the whole fresh-as-a-daisy charm Carey oozes – but it looks so out of place, and Carey knows it. Hands dug in pockets (they look like oven mitts), facial expression of ‘Woah… how come all these photographers are here? I thought this was just a casual little shindig?’, black opaque tights meaning (the Brit in her) that she was sure she would be spending extended periods of time outside… your stylist screwed you over, Carey. I’m sorry. I bet she knew what the Met Ball was all along, the bitch.

Diane Kruger and Zoe Saldana in Calvin Klein; Jessica Biel in Ralph Lauren – I’m not going to pretend these gowns are ugly because they’re not. However, look at what you’ve seen so far and admit, these are a little boring, aren’t they? Oh I know, fashionistas are supposed to worship the ground that Diane’s teutonic little feet walk on and yes, she does look stunning but this minimalist dress is just a little too minimalist for me. It is literally a bit of a blank. Zoe is the best of the lot – her gown fits her like a glove and it actually has some interesting texture and shimmer, plus the one-shoulder and the sparkle in her eye, saving it from being too yawnworthy. And after that shag-pile rug inspired Oscars look, I think she’s allowed a bit of a breather. I actually like Biel’s dress the most – it’s signature Ralph Lauren, fluid effortless drapey grace – but Biel herself is so boring. She can’t afford to wear a boring dress or else she drowns in a sea of vanilla.

Red Carpet Rundown – Oscars 2010, Part III

Oops… so I forgot about these photos and since it takes so long to edit them, it seems a shame not to include them. Unfortunately, my genius method of categorising only took me as far as two groups so ummm… ‘The Rest of The Rest’?

Demi Moore in Atelier Versace – *Goo goo eyes* Ruffles! This is essentially a less nice version of Elizabeth Banks’ gown (and by the same designer too); I say less nice because I’m really not sold on the colour, which PR guff probably refers to as ‘blush’ but which I see as not terribly attractive muddy off-tan shade. Despite my love of all things romantic and ruffly, it also reminds me of Emily Blunt’s Golden Globes dress… which in turn reminded me of Frieda Pinto’s Oscar de la Renta at 2009’s Baftas. And out of all those dresses, it still ranks fourth.

Sandra Bullock in Marchesa – This dress was unlucky to make the ‘Favourites’ category, as every time I look at it, I think it looks more beautiful. With each awards ceremony she’s hit up, Sandra’s look has become more refined and she may have just saved the best dress for last. It’s sleek, it’s elegant, it’s shimmery in a subtle way (compared to the Quality Street wrapper shine of her Golden Globes gown… although I really did love that dress); it fits like a glove and the embroidery really is stunning. Her hair’s immaculately groomed and contrasts beautifully with the pale champagne shimmer of the dress and the finishing touch of that bright pink lipstick really was an inspired touch. For an actress whose career has so far been based on pratfalls and tomfoolery, I never thought I’d see her look so poised – a winning outfit in every way. Miss Congeniality would be proud.

Anna Kendrick in Elie Saab – This gown has a slightly vintage feel about it, but I’m not entirely sure I mean in it a good way. The lace around the slit seems a tad too fussy for me and it all feels a little Victorian. The nothing-y colour also contributes to the aged feel as it just looks kinda… old. In fact, it reminds me of these voile drapes I used to have that we never washed and went yellow with age. There are positives (love the off-the-shoulder cut) but the colour kills them all. It’s just so blah.

Jennifer Lopez in Armani Prive – What is J.Lo these days? She’s not been in a decent film for ages, her last album flopped and her last single seems to have been created more with an eye to getting her free Louboutins than for the sake of the music. She still knows how to bring the red-carpet glamour though… even if this dress is a little bridal and the top looks like the peak of your Mr Whippy just flopped over. Minus marks for messy hair though.

Kristen Stewart in Monique Lhullier – I do far prefer when Kristen brings a big of an edge to her red-carpet dressing, but this trumpet-shaped gown oozes gorgeous. Being a bit Gothic, inky midnight-blue dark and very dramatic, it also marries well with the whole Twilight thing whilst showing off an enviable figure and Stewart’s flawless porcelain skin. It’s a grown-up dress for a young girl and I think she pulls it off well – and proves she can crack a smile to boot! Oh Kristen, never stop being your slightly awkward, clueless red-carpet posing self as it’s so endearing and stops me hating on your ridiculously-high levels of talent, beauty and ability to snag a hot boyfriend quite so much.

Amanda Seyfried in Armani Prive – Not you’re not seeing things, this is a definite case of déjà vu. Same designer, similar colour, similar style = very similar dress to J.Lo. For me, Seyfried edges it thanks to that immaculate bun, which would make every prima ballerina proud. Unlike Lopez’s scrunchy mess, it’s the perfect topping to a classic dress. Also, the gown’s shape is simpler, making for a cleaner silhouette. Pure personal preference and Lopez will always have more charisma in her perfectly-manicured little fingernail than Seyfried carries in her whole body, but Amanda’s look is the winner for me.

Red Carpet Rundown: Baftas 2010

I’m actually a little disappointed with this year’s red carpet fashion at the Baftas. Usually, the quirky Brit mentality means we get more adventurous choices from the stars yet this year, that derring-do dash of daring seems to have deserted the largely black and neutral red carpet. Whether it was the cold, the rain or the lower-than-usual star wattage of the guests (screw you A-Listers, we had bona fide royalty in the form of Prince William), fashion choices seemed more conservative than usual. Here’s a rundown of the only gowns that grabbed our interest for long enough to write about them.

Kathryn Bigelow – I’m gonna start off with my favourite outfit, which is also probably the most boring. Go figure. It’s getting absolutely no attention from most fashion blogs and red carpet write-ups so I have no idea who designed it either. A few are even criticising the tights with peeptoes thing; let’s remember – this is England, England is cold, my black opaques are practically welded on me through September to May so I barely noticed. But in my opinion, Kathryn Bigelow looks smokin’. Fresh from winning Best Director and Best Picture for heavy-hitting war flick The Hurt Locker, she looks positively radiant. Frankly, I’m not expecting Best Director nominees to show up looking like a Disney princess (whether that’s right or wrong of me is a different discussion) so this glittery mini is perfectly fitting – and judging by that figure, it’s a perfect fit too. Sparkle is the perfect way to jazz up a boring LBD and I love the sexy oil slick way it’s reflecting flashes of other colours at the bottom. Let’s just say I’m a sucker for sequins, ok?

Audrey Tatou in Lanvin – My favourite Frenchie Marion Cotillard abandoned me for this ceremony, so I guess we’ll talk about Audrey Tatou instead. Kinda wish I didn’t have to. I look at this gown and think marshmallow – it doesn’t exactly look like one, yet has many of the attributes I associate with that piece of confectionary (puffy, pink) but sadly, without the tasty aspect. Ruching in all the wrong places, it looks like it was fashioned from a restaurant tablecloth. I like the unlikely contrast with the scarlet accessories but by then, it’s too little too late. Tatou’s so chic as well so I shudder to think what this would look like on someone without her innate sense of style.

Carey Mulligan in Vionnet – This is so almost there for me. The graphic floral print is lovely yet modern and the striking monochrome keeps it from looking like cushion covers. I’m also a massive fan of boat-necks (so elegant) and the ribbon belt is a pretty touch. But it’s a shame the designer caught mad bride disease when he made it, for the train is unnecessary and the gown would look far cleaner and less old-fashioned without it.

See what I mean about neutrals?

Kate Winslet in Stella McCartney – It seems Kate Winslet is going the same way as cheese, wine and Chanel handbags i.e. the older, the better. This gown fits Winslet like a glove – and not some chunky fluorescent mitten your Nan knitted but a super-sexy and ultra-slinky one. The lace inserts add just the right amount of sex and prevent this from becoming just another boring black dress. Only just though. Winslet’s red carpet dressing of late has become very body-con and we miss the days where she used to wear shades other than black in the likes of Temperley and Ben de Lisi. We don’t miss the Doc Martins though.

Vera Farmiga in Marchesa – Marchesa’s gowns often seem a tad bridal (see Kate Hudson’s Golden Globes dress) and this isn’t much of an exception. Except I think it’s more heaven must be missing an angel goddess. Farmiga just looks untouchable in this dress – graceful, lofty, beautiful. The rational part of my brain knows it has seen other photos where this dress makes Farmiga look a little lumpy and that Farmiga’s preference for neutrals this season is making her seem a bit ice-queen, but the little girl part just screams ‘Must obey! Grown-up goddess in attendance.’ [The responsible writer part is meanwhile saying: ‘Mention the stunning origami detail on the shoulder and Farmiga’s elegant up-do and make-up’.]

Jaime Winston in Alexander McQueen – The only neutral things about this outfit are the colours. The rest is wholehearted horrid. Winston looks like a Marilyn Monroe or Jean Harlow tribute act. In fact, she looks like a tribute of a tribute act. The peroxide doesn’t suit her, nor do the Marcel waves, nor do the blood-black lips, nor does the dead animal draped round her shoulders. And the bandaging creates unsightly bulges and looks as if someone ran riot with duct tape over what was originally a nice dress.

Saorise Ronan in Burberry – Her name may still look like someone trying to cobble together a word from a bad Scrabble rack, but the snitch from Atonement is coming of age and she is looking seriously pretty in this frothy number. It’s young, it’s fresh and may be the beginning of Ronan getting a whole new set of (red-blooded male) fans. Top marks on coordinating the belt with the shoes too.

Now time to enter The Twilight Zone...

Anna Kendrick in Pucci – Kendrick is getting a slaughtering for this dress on other blogs. Well, you’re safe here Anna love. Although nominated for Best Supporting Actress in Up In The Air, she’s probably more widely-known for playing a bit-part in Twilight – serving as a reminder for the fact she is still a mere youngster, even though many of her red-carpet choices have been on the more “mature” side. This dress is the kind of bold blast of fresh air I’d expect a Brit to be making at the Baftas so kudos to Kendrick for beating us at our own game. The vibrant zing of the colour is great, the gold detailing is exquisite and matches the sandals perfectly and ok, the ruffles and shape mean it’s not very flattering but that mega-watt smile and gorgeous hair make it a winner in my book.

Robert Pattinson – MAN ALERT! As you can see from the facial close-up, we’re not really analysing his clothes. The big news is R Patz has new hair!!! Whaddya mean you can’t tell the difference?! Well, it’s less bouffant, less artfully-messy, less Charlie from Busted. This can only be a bad thing in my book as Charlie is probably my number one crush of all time (sorry Harry McFly). The flatness can be blamed on the rain (and we hear Rob spent ages in the drizzle meeting the fans, bless him) but the lack of facial hair is entirely non weather-dependent. Hmmm… we never realised we’d miss his stubble until now. Like a modern-day Samson, once shorn of his sexy birds nest locks, his power to reduce me to a swooning fangirl is diminished. Now who’s gonna start the ‘Bring Back The Bouffant’ Facebook group first?

Kristen Stewart in Chanel – Bella’s also getting a lot of flack on blogs, not for her sartorial choices but for her sulky teen demeanour. Stewart is such a talented actress that it’s easy to forget she * is * genuinely a teen in real life too and how many of us, in addition to the acne, popularity contests and raging hormones, had to run the gamut of the red carpet every other week?! (Then again, how many of us get snog Robert Pattinson and get paid for it… sympathy rapidly evaporating…) Stewart’s red carpet postures and general awkwardness do very little for her outfits but do make me love her just that little bit more. Personally, I think Stewart has the look and the boyish frame to carry off edgier ensembles with aplomb (I still love this Balenciaga dress from a year ago and she totally rocks this leather jacket with a Pucci mini) so this dress, although classic and inoffensive, doesn’t really wow me. Her hair (did a stylist get anywhere near it? Cos it don’t look like it) and clompy shoes aren’t helping her cause either. Oh, just let her get back under her duvet for everyone’s sake! (Although who can blame her if Pattinson’s under there too *wink wink*!)