Tag Archives: Sofia Vergara

Red Carpet Rundown: Met Gala 2011, Wedding Fever

It seems even A-Listers weren’t immune from Royal Wedding fever, as several turned up at the Met Gala 2011 in gowns fit for a princess bride. And if it wasn’t fit for the bride, then it was fit for a bridesmaid (£1 wiggly worm optional), a guest (nut job headpiece included) or just a princess in general…

Chanel Iman in Dolce & Gabanna – Chanel was one of my favourites at this event, I just adore this dress. Who says white lace can’t be classy? It’s so pretty and lady-like but Chanel, despite the prim and proper chignon, is giving it so much oomph that it’s pretty damn sexy too. I can’t believe this is the same chick who rocked a gold lamé jumpsuit at last year’s Met Ball – talk about a style chameleon! This is a dress that would look fresh as a daisy all night long, whatever the decade. LOVE.

Miranda Kerr in Marchesa – Marchesa dresses always run the fine line between being amazingly beautiful red carpet gowns and amazingly beautiful bridal-wear; here’s yet another example. Admittedly, this is more funky bride working a ballerina/Tinkerbell vibe (helloooo awesome Nicholas Kirkwood shoes!) but Miranda’s got the youth, beauty and husband handsome enough to make it look cute and exuberant rather than sad and desperate. I imagine someone trod on her shoe or put out a cigarette on her skirt as there’s just too much prettiness going on here!

Jessica Alba in Ralph Lauren – Just like Kate Hudson before her, this also has the whiff of ‘pregnant lady getting married’. However, whereas Hudson’s at least seemed to have the various component parts of a whole dress, Alba’s just looks like a giant wedding veil.

Jennifer Hudson in Vera Wang – Jennifer’s devoted a significant amount of time recently to showing off her new bod, meaning lots of tight short form-fitting dresses, so it’s nice to see a more floaty princess look. And if you’re looking for floaty princess looks, you can’t really go wrong with Vera Wang! This is basically a wedding dress with a light grey overlay; alternatively, it’s basically Mila Kunis’ gown from last year’s Met Gala but with all the crazy embellishments ripped off. Either way, it’s still very pretty and Jennifer looks lovely.

Fergie in Marchesa – I chose this picture because Fergie just looks so cute and happy! However, this is just WAY too bridal. I wouldn’t be surprised if Fergie struck a deal with some paps so she could take home some snaps, as she’s gone off the ones from her real wedding. An abundance of froth and lace, a big train, a man in a suit AND a headdress?! Too much, Fergie Ferg, too much.

Lily Donaldson in Erdem – She’s here mainly because her dress is lace and yes, it’s blue lace and it has a Peter Pan collar and it’s actually kind of see-through so it would never work as a wedding dress at all, apart from for those fashion-y types who are too cool for school and would probably wear Gaga’s meat dress for their big day given the chance. I admit to a bit of a style blind spot as far as Erdem is concerned because I tend to just blindly love all his designs because ooooh… aren’t they just so pretty?! And yes, this one is see-through and a bit Grandma’s tablecloth and I can see Lily’s sports bra but ooooh… isn’t it just so pretty?!


Serena Williams in Oscar de la Renta – Here’s where things veer into bridezilla territory. Was Serena sat at home, weeping copiously whilst watching Prince William saying his vows, screaming ‘It should have been me!!!’?! This feather explosion looks as if she said ‘Screw it, I’m just gonna wear the wedding dress I secretly hid at the back of my wardrobe years ago before the moths get to it’; the hideous fascinator says ‘Where the hell was my invite? I still could have changed his mind!’ Jokes aside, this kind of twee pretty stuff just doesn’t work for Serena; she needs to bring the fierce and I’m not sure anyone can ever do that whilst wearing a fascinator. Ever.

Demi Moore in Prabal Gurung – Another disappointed would-be Royal Wedding guest – just because you dyed it black doesn’t mean we don’t know your game, Demi! Black, white, purple with green spots… I honestly doubt there’s a colour that exists yet that would make this dress look good. Not only is it moulting down below, but there’s a parasitic sea anemone sprouting from her breast; meanwhile, the fascinator was rescued from a long-defunct cabaret show. It’s like Demi has been holding in this insanity for so long with all her tasteful flattering dresses all year and has just had a complete meltdown. Which makes it sort of amazing. That’s the Met Ball for you!

Rumer Willis in Badgley Mischka – Meanwhile, Demi’s daughter did an even better job at hiding her Royal Wedding guest-list aspirations. Seeing how ridiculous Mummy and Serena looked, she hastily pinned her fascinator onto one side of her dress instead! I actually think this dress is rather awesome, the detailing all over the gown looks like pieces of stained glass or a not very well fitted together mosaic, but in a good way. On any other night, this dress would be a show-stealer but sadly, because it’s boring black and she’s only Rumer Willis, it got lost in a fug of outrageous fashion statements, huge trains and crazy people wearing fascinators.

Dakota Fanning in Valentino –I don’t know if this dress could get any prettier unless fairies floated around it at all times. Can you imagine how cute this would be shrunk to miniature for little bridesmaids or flower-girls?! Adorable! However, I’m not impressed with Dakota’s make-up, which is so barely-there that it’s not at all. I do think neutral was the right way to go but it hasn’t been executed well; she looks pale and shiny rather than dewy and glowing. Her hair also has no style to it whatsoever – how about romantic waves or a classy up-do? At least we’re reminded that Dakota is still actually in her teens, as she looked scarily adult all dolled-up in The Runaways, but I find myself swooning over the dress and regarding her face as an afterthought.

Jessica Stam in Tommy Hilfiger – This pretty blush number would also be simple enough to look sweet on a bridesmaid, although it’s stunning enough to work as the main number too. Although there were far too many beige gowns going on at this event, this is just a winsomely gorgeous dress, being sold beautifully by Stam. Note the flawless makeup and the lovely half-up half-down hair, Dakota!

Ashley Greene in Donna Karan – And so we continue our tour round Switzerland i.e. the neutral zone. This is a big pouffy princess number, designed for waltzing round in Disney castles, and there’s no doubt that Ashley looks exquisite – I love how the earrings bring out the silver detailing and how a simple up-do stops it all from being overkill. But every time I look at it, I’m reminded of Anne Hathaway and Jennifer Lopez doing the same look last year and absolutely slaying it in their respective princess and diva ways. As yet, Ashley just doesn’t have the star quality to make this any more than an absolutely breath-taking dress on legs.

Renee Zellweger in Carolina Herrera – Yes, this is a picture of Renee’s back. That’s because it was a whole lot more interesting than the front, which honestly could have been mistaken for slightly cobwebby looking skin. I just love the shape here – the plunging back, the sprinkle of silver fairy dust, the trailing train. Or perhaps I’m just won over by the composition of the photo – a moment of stillness and serenity amidst a scrum of screaming paparazzi. Even so, what does this say about Renee’s face that I’d rather stare at picture’s of her back?! [Incidentally, I read some amazing guff that the plunging back was inspired by McQueen’s low-slung, butt-grazing jeans. Well, OK Carolina, if you say so…]

Maggie Q in Tadashi Shoji – I frigging love Maggie Q and her kickass ways. My enjoyment of Nikita is entirely based around her being her badass self, breaking things, beating people up and blowing stuff up, all with just one swish of that glossy mane of hair. So this dreamy romantic concoction is a change of scene from her usual slinky sexy ways. The dress is gorgeous, a tumbling cascade of roses, and bar a little heavy-handedness with the eye make-up, Maggie’s pretty gorgeous herself. (Please click for an enlargement, Maggie will shoot you if you don’t look at her pretty up-close)

Emma Stone in Lanvin – Finally we come to the wedding guest section i.e. an excuse for me to shoehorn florals into this post. Since Emma’s dress looks neither like a tablecloth, curtains nor wallpaper, we can conclude that it is a reasonable successful take on a floral dress. I absolutely love how big and bold the print is, while the monochrome palette prevents it from looking too big and bold and the cut is doing all sorts of sexy things to Emma’s figure. Yes, the hair is still blonde and seems to be getting even blonder out of spite to all us non-believers but that pop of pink lipstick is an inspired touch.

Sofia Vergara in Carolina Herrera – You all know I’ve been critical of Sofia ‘va va voom’ Vergara in the past and what do you know, she looks reassuringly lushly gorgeous once she puts the armoury away, back to the chest area where they belong as opposed to somewhere near her eyeline. This is a simple silhouette that works entirely because of the floral embroidery (even if it appears to have had pieces of sticky tape placed on it at random) and she just looks lovely. A stand-out for all the right reasons, this is probably the best she’s ever looked.

Randomer in Erdem – Yes, I know nothing of fashion. Tyra would be screeching at me and throwing me out of the model house after I gaped vacantly in one of her challenges after she asked me to pose like *insert obscure model’s name here*. But I had to put this in because this dress is soooo gorgeous. The very best illustration of how florals can look elegant and effortless, with not a hint of tablecloth, curtain or wallpaper in sight. I absolutely love how it works with Randomer’s milkmaid braid – such a pretty romantic look all-round. Good work, Randomer, whoever you are.

Kirsten Dunst in Chanel – Oh Snaggletooth, what happened? You used to be so cool and hip and now you look like a soccer mom. I dislike the dress (it looks like the kind of floral design people paint onto canal boats) but I dislike what Kiki is doing to it even more. Blowsy hair, puffy face, frumpy feel. This is Chanel?!?! Seriously?!

Pictures: Just Jared, Style.com, Look.co.uk, Socialite Life, Huffington Post Style

Red Carpet Rundown: 2011 Oscar Parties, Part I

Yes, this is a month late but the 2011 Vanity Fair Oscar Party and Elton John’s AIDs Foundation’s Oscar Viewing Party turned out to be more interesting than the Oscars themselves. A boat-load of new celebrities crawled out the woodwork, toting gowns that were either gorgeous or grotesque – either way, it’s entertaining stuff. Be prepared to see more black lace than you’d wish for in a lifetime…

Dianna Agron in Salvatore Ferragamo – Remember me waxing lyrical about Dianna’s ‘exquisite elegant Wasp-y style’ that had a ‘modern-day Grace Kelly’ feel about it?! Well, despite writing this but one month ago, it seems that has been ample time for Dianna to prove my habit of cursing people’s red carpet styles is alive and well. Things started slowly, with some strange splotchy eye make-up at the SAGs but this gown edges things even further to the sartorial danger zone. It’s a fundamentally pretty dress in a fundamentally pretty colour but it should have been nipped in the bud at an off-the-knee length. Instead, the whole look is skewed towards the aged and droopy; factor in wilting hair plus sad eyes (it’s amazing what a tabloid break-up story can make you read into photographs) and it just looks frumpy and cheerless in a night where everyone else was reaching for their glad-rags. The Marion Cotillard poodle perm doesn’t seem that far away now…

Sofia Vergara in Zuhair Murad – At least good old Sofia is on hand to prove me right though. I earlier branded her va-va-voom style ‘vulgar’ and although I tried to steer clear of actually calling her slutty, when you wear outfits like this, surely you’re asking for it. This is underwear. It’s not even nice underwear. Avoid.

Jena Malone in Camilla + Marc – Clearly there was some sort of memo circulating suggesting that underwear was an acceptable dress code. Here is Jena Malone in her training bra and not much else. It’s just as horrible.

Madonna – It’s not just the young ‘uns turning up in their smalls though. Not to be outdone, here is Madonna in an even more horrible version of Jenna’s outfit. I guess the nasty fur gilet is what counts as Madge’s concession towards modesty these days. If you would like to see her butt cheeks (and you’re a braver soul than me), click here.

Michelle Rodriguez – More underwear, more sheer (literally, ho ho ho!) WTF-ness. A change of colour can’t salvage the fact that LOOKING AS IF YOU’VE TURNED UP IN YOUR UNDERWEAR IS WRONG.

Zooey Deschanel in Valentino – Zooey is included merely to prove to my boyfriend that his number one celebrity crush really does have crappy dress sense. I imagine he’s zooming in on the hunt for nipple on those strange plastic-looking boobs… about now. She is wearing tights as sleeves. She is also wearing four variants on black lace, in a night that has made the band who brought Agadoo to the world seem like the preferable use of the words. Seriously, what was with black lace at this party? Did you get a better goodie bag if you wore it?

Jessica Szohr – Another outfit, another misguided use of black lacy stuff… and this time it really does look like a last-minute attempt wrapped round a perfectly respectable outfit in order to get a better goodie bag. The design on this stuff looks like clothes left on a washing line, the overall effect is of a white skirt considered too dangerous to be let out in a public without a muzzle.

Paz de la Huerta – Paz forgoes the titillating black lace brigade to simply flash us her underwear straight up. Sisterhood points for the fact that they appear to be Bridget Jones big pants but even so…

Eva Mendes in Donna Karan – Either an evil black oversize butterfly or an evil black oversize bow tie wrapped itself around Eva’s torso and passed itself off as a top to some unsuspecting stylist. I’m pretty sure it also ate the bottom half of this outfit, as that netting is clearly an underskirt. Meaning it goes under something. And that something was about five sizes too big for Eva anyway.

Georgina Chapman in Marchesa – Black lacy stuff done well? WTF?! Although some may call this dress silly, I think it’s pure theatre, totally gorgeous and most importantly, doesn’t resemble underwear. [Chapman is the designer for Marchesa so the poor love probably has to pop down to Tesco in one of their massive structural ballgowns too]. It’s like the climax to an opera – overblown, dramatic, outrageous, enthralling – and even incorporates the flowers thrown on at the end (or is that just for figure skaters?). The way Georgina has picked up the pink of the roses in her earrings and lipstick is lovely too. Never has looking vaguely like a flamenco dancer’s pencil shavings looked so stunning.

Gabrielle Union in Diane Von Furgensberg – Let’s try and end this post on a classy note, shall we? (My purple obsession spreads to clothes too, you know). I just adore this deep rich aubergine jewel tone and the fluttery way the material drapes makes this pure goddess dress stuff. The darker, less revealing sister to Mila Kunis’ Oscar gown, it’s just beautiful.

Red Carpet Rundown: Screen Actors Guild Awards 2011, Part III

The Hmmms

My final red carpet rundown of looks from 2011’s SAG Awards that I liked… sort of… maybe…

Mila Kunis in Alexander McQueen – This is topping lots of people’s best-of lists and I get why, but it’s just a bit too hippy-chick earth-mother for me. I’m absolutely overjoyed that since discovering colour existed at the Golden Globes, Mila is sticking with brights and this shade of scarlet looks stunning with her colouring. There’s *yet more* L’Oreal worthy hair on show and the addition of the belt was a clever touch, as it gives a little shape to the sheer flowiness. But it’s just not my kind of dress. Imagine if she’d worn a slightly-shorter version of Tina Fey’s dress instead – I don’t think mankind’s hormones would ever recover.

Claire Danes in Louis Vuitton – From good belt to bad belt, this black one just feels too heavy and ugly for this dainty and delicate floral gown. And given that there’s a black thing dangling down that doesn’t appear to be part of the belt anyway, was the extra belt even necessary in the first place? However, in a red carpet swarming with simplicity (less kind people would say mediocrity), this ultra-pretty print stands out, especially given that Danes is usually one to head down the minimalist route. It might have a slight 70s curtain/tablecloth feel, but those appliquéd flowers at the bust are a really beautiful touch.

Helena Bonham Carter in Marc Jacobs – Believe it or not, HBC was actually on my list of ‘Yays’ at one point. That was before I saw that she’d showed up in those blasted sunglasses again – does she have some sort of eye condition (in which case, I am a truly horrible person)? Luckily, the photographers managed to coax her out the shades for most photos, yet this was the only shot I could find that shows off her super-cute ‘Pearls Of Wisdom’ clutch (matching the pearl necklace, wouldn’t you know). Having got angry at Helena’s contrived eccentricity with the mismatched shoes at the Golden Globes, this look shows effort being directed into the right places nicely. I absolutely love the lacy dress – it’s got a slight 50s ladies-who-lunch vibe to it and would look incredible with kid gloves – but the sheer shoulder straps almost ruin it for me (wish they’d been made out the bodice material instead). A lighter lipstick colour wouldn’t have gone amiss either but given this is Helena Bonham-Carter we’re talking about, I’d be amazed if there was any understated anything in her make-up box.

Amy Adams in Herve L. Leroux – You last heard me wishing for Amy Adams to recover her style mojo and step away from the jewel tones. I kind of got my wish, as here she is in blinding white, which was enough to make me give her a win without much thought. But then on closer inspection, I decided I didn’t actually like the dress too much (mummy’s bandages, anyone?!) and that maybe white wasn’t a great colour for her anyway. Perhaps if she’d let her awesome red hair down rather than sporting this severe pony, that would have broken the milkiness up – and scored her a potential L’Oreal commercial too.

Dianna Agron in vintage Chanel – True to form, as soon as I’ve hailed Dianna my latest red carpet one-to-watch, she goes and messes it up. Admittedly, this isn’t a balls-up of Marion Cotillard’s squashed boobs and poodle perm level because the dress is actually beautiful and typical Dianna. Feminine, classic, exquisitely pretty and working the underrated combination of navy and black; again, it’s got that whole 50s tea-dress thing going on and I’m experiencing those kid gloves urges again. The problem is the heavy smoky eye make-up (the same amateur who sooted-up Jennifer Lawrence?!), which doesn’t suit Dianna’s look at all. Shame.

Naya Rivera in Aurelio Costarella – Well, it was nice of Naya to attempt to put the girls away, but you can see they’re still squishing their way to a bid for freedom. This dress is understatedly lovely in a retro vintage way yet its clingy nature makes her look a little too slender for my liking… and most probably for her boobs’ liking too, as they desperately wonder how they’re being kept up by that tiny a ribcage. I like that she keeps switching up her style and doesn’t always give us the typical va-va-voom Latino look (more of them later), I LOVE that her lipstick complements her nail varnish, I’m not so keen on the lifeless limp hair. No L’Oreal commercial for you!

Sofia Vergara in Roberto Cavalli – I don’t like Sofia Vergara’s red carpet style at all. For me, she falls into every stereotype of a ‘Latino lovely’, always squeezing into va-va-voom dresses that hoist her boobs up somewhere near her hairline. I find her just that teensy bit vulgar – I know, grab Grandma over here the smelling salts – and just so Eva Longoria five years ago. Her and Cavalli are practically made for one another. She’s included because this might just be my favourite ever look from her, primarily because of that amazing electric cobalt blue colour and absolutely nothing to do with her boobs staring me cold in the eye. It’s essentially a slutty version of Kate Middleton’s Issa engagement dress and that dress was so lovely that even the slutty version ain’t half bad.

Eva Longoria in Georges Hobeika – Speak of the devil and she shall appear… This colour is absolutely dreamy (and since greys are going to be the spring trend for nails, why not dresses too?!) and I like Eva’s complimentary soft eye make-up (thank God the Agron/Lawrence make-up artist didn’t get to her). I actually even like the shapes that this dress makes but it’s essentially slutty on a classier scale – imagine the side-boob on that! I feel that Eva’s very overt style of glamour is losing relevance on the red carpet at the moment and will be interested to see how she evolves, especially once Desperate Housewives is over, but this could be a step in the right direction from the OTT ballgowns and big trains she usually favours. Sofia, say hi to yourself in five years… if you’re lucky enough to still be famous that is

Rosario Dawson in J. Mendel – Rosario misses the best-dressed list purely on being so meh in general. What films has she actually been great and really memorable in? *Racks brain* However, this pale lemon colour is just divine on her skin-tone though the shape is a little boring… but those turquoise earrings! Well, let’s just say, if I could have put them on their own on the ‘Yays’ list, they’d be there by now.