Tag Archives: Helena Bonham-Carter

Red Carpet Rundown: Screen Actors Guild Awards 2011, Part III

The Hmmms

My final red carpet rundown of looks from 2011’s SAG Awards that I liked… sort of… maybe…

Mila Kunis in Alexander McQueen – This is topping lots of people’s best-of lists and I get why, but it’s just a bit too hippy-chick earth-mother for me. I’m absolutely overjoyed that since discovering colour existed at the Golden Globes, Mila is sticking with brights and this shade of scarlet looks stunning with her colouring. There’s *yet more* L’Oreal worthy hair on show and the addition of the belt was a clever touch, as it gives a little shape to the sheer flowiness. But it’s just not my kind of dress. Imagine if she’d worn a slightly-shorter version of Tina Fey’s dress instead – I don’t think mankind’s hormones would ever recover.

Claire Danes in Louis Vuitton – From good belt to bad belt, this black one just feels too heavy and ugly for this dainty and delicate floral gown. And given that there’s a black thing dangling down that doesn’t appear to be part of the belt anyway, was the extra belt even necessary in the first place? However, in a red carpet swarming with simplicity (less kind people would say mediocrity), this ultra-pretty print stands out, especially given that Danes is usually one to head down the minimalist route. It might have a slight 70s curtain/tablecloth feel, but those appliquéd flowers at the bust are a really beautiful touch.

Helena Bonham Carter in Marc Jacobs – Believe it or not, HBC was actually on my list of ‘Yays’ at one point. That was before I saw that she’d showed up in those blasted sunglasses again – does she have some sort of eye condition (in which case, I am a truly horrible person)? Luckily, the photographers managed to coax her out the shades for most photos, yet this was the only shot I could find that shows off her super-cute ‘Pearls Of Wisdom’ clutch (matching the pearl necklace, wouldn’t you know). Having got angry at Helena’s contrived eccentricity with the mismatched shoes at the Golden Globes, this look shows effort being directed into the right places nicely. I absolutely love the lacy dress – it’s got a slight 50s ladies-who-lunch vibe to it and would look incredible with kid gloves – but the sheer shoulder straps almost ruin it for me (wish they’d been made out the bodice material instead). A lighter lipstick colour wouldn’t have gone amiss either but given this is Helena Bonham-Carter we’re talking about, I’d be amazed if there was any understated anything in her make-up box.

Amy Adams in Herve L. Leroux – You last heard me wishing for Amy Adams to recover her style mojo and step away from the jewel tones. I kind of got my wish, as here she is in blinding white, which was enough to make me give her a win without much thought. But then on closer inspection, I decided I didn’t actually like the dress too much (mummy’s bandages, anyone?!) and that maybe white wasn’t a great colour for her anyway. Perhaps if she’d let her awesome red hair down rather than sporting this severe pony, that would have broken the milkiness up – and scored her a potential L’Oreal commercial too.

Dianna Agron in vintage Chanel – True to form, as soon as I’ve hailed Dianna my latest red carpet one-to-watch, she goes and messes it up. Admittedly, this isn’t a balls-up of Marion Cotillard’s squashed boobs and poodle perm level because the dress is actually beautiful and typical Dianna. Feminine, classic, exquisitely pretty and working the underrated combination of navy and black; again, it’s got that whole 50s tea-dress thing going on and I’m experiencing those kid gloves urges again. The problem is the heavy smoky eye make-up (the same amateur who sooted-up Jennifer Lawrence?!), which doesn’t suit Dianna’s look at all. Shame.

Naya Rivera in Aurelio Costarella – Well, it was nice of Naya to attempt to put the girls away, but you can see they’re still squishing their way to a bid for freedom. This dress is understatedly lovely in a retro vintage way yet its clingy nature makes her look a little too slender for my liking… and most probably for her boobs’ liking too, as they desperately wonder how they’re being kept up by that tiny a ribcage. I like that she keeps switching up her style and doesn’t always give us the typical va-va-voom Latino look (more of them later), I LOVE that her lipstick complements her nail varnish, I’m not so keen on the lifeless limp hair. No L’Oreal commercial for you!

Sofia Vergara in Roberto Cavalli – I don’t like Sofia Vergara’s red carpet style at all. For me, she falls into every stereotype of a ‘Latino lovely’, always squeezing into va-va-voom dresses that hoist her boobs up somewhere near her hairline. I find her just that teensy bit vulgar – I know, grab Grandma over here the smelling salts – and just so Eva Longoria five years ago. Her and Cavalli are practically made for one another. She’s included because this might just be my favourite ever look from her, primarily because of that amazing electric cobalt blue colour and absolutely nothing to do with her boobs staring me cold in the eye. It’s essentially a slutty version of Kate Middleton’s Issa engagement dress and that dress was so lovely that even the slutty version ain’t half bad.

Eva Longoria in Georges Hobeika – Speak of the devil and she shall appear… This colour is absolutely dreamy (and since greys are going to be the spring trend for nails, why not dresses too?!) and I like Eva’s complimentary soft eye make-up (thank God the Agron/Lawrence make-up artist didn’t get to her). I actually even like the shapes that this dress makes but it’s essentially slutty on a classier scale – imagine the side-boob on that! I feel that Eva’s very overt style of glamour is losing relevance on the red carpet at the moment and will be interested to see how she evolves, especially once Desperate Housewives is over, but this could be a step in the right direction from the OTT ballgowns and big trains she usually favours. Sofia, say hi to yourself in five years… if you’re lucky enough to still be famous that is

Rosario Dawson in J. Mendel – Rosario misses the best-dressed list purely on being so meh in general. What films has she actually been great and really memorable in? *Racks brain* However, this pale lemon colour is just divine on her skin-tone though the shape is a little boring… but those turquoise earrings! Well, let’s just say, if I could have put them on their own on the ‘Yays’ list, they’d be there by now.

Red Carpet Rundown: Golden Globes 2011, Part III

And now for the third section of my 2011 Golden Globes coverage entitled, ‘Ye God, My Eyes!’

Julianne Moore in Lanvin – A former favourite who has lost her way. Gone are the gorgeous jewel tones and classic elegance from pre-2009, instead replaced by an uncanny knack for choosing the worst gowns from various designers’ collections. This time, her obsession with Lanvin, its weird cuts and its bizarre sleeve policy rears its ugly head once more. The bubblegum pink isn’t terrible flattering for Julianne’s colouring, the creases have me itching to iron and the strange sleeve seems to have come from not just one different dress (possibly American quarterback-inspired?), but two! An unmitigated mess.

Halle Berry in Nina Ricci – Halle Berry is one of the most beautiful women in the world, blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda. But over the past year, no-one has been more alert to this fact than Halle Berry herself. It’s been permanently tight, short and bangers o clock round Halle’s place. Here, she’s turned up in her (slightly bondage-esque) underwear complete with fetish cuffs, with a sarong tucked around as an after-thought by Berry’s disproving Dr. Jekyll side. As such, it’s oddly unsexy and makes her look a little desperate.

Michelle Williams in Valentino – Michelle Williams used to get it red carpet right all the time. Remember that mustard yellow Oscars gown, widely regarded as one of the best of all-time?! Sadly, she lost her red carpet mojo when she had her hair cropped and bleached for her role as Marilyn Monroe, but where the hairdresser was mistakenly given a picture of Pat from Eastenders instead. It’s made her look old, dowdy and frumpy and she has started to dress accordingly, wearing stuff that you imagine grannies picking out as misguided presents for their recalcitrant relatives. This empire-line dress with an unfortunate case of boob-squeeze has managed the quite incredible trick of making her look both bottom and top-heavy. The print was last seen in the reduced aisle of tablecloths and shower curtains.

Helena Bonham-Carter in Vivienne Westwood – Oh, that Helena Bonham-Carter, she’s so ker-azy, isn’t she? So wacky, a one-off, a true British eccentric… isn’t it cool that she doesn’t care what everyone else thinks?! However, this ensemble makes me think she cares very much indeed. Wearing mismatched shoes that are actually the same shoe in different colours that both happen to match the tones of the dress make it look like someone has put rather too much effort into looking ker-azy, hence turning the look from breath of fresh air to contrived drama-school project. I actually like certain aspects of the dress – the neckline’s classic uber-flattering Westwood, although it looks like someone slashed it to death on its way to becoming a halter-neck – and the colours and the print are pretty. But it’s so obviously Westwood that it’s very nearly a pastiche and then she had to go and wear sunglasses too… if it takes you this long to look this silly, why not try looking great instead?

Christina Aguilera in Zuhair Murad – Christina’s red carpet run for Burlesque has been pretty poor, where she’s generally looked old, plastic, washed-up and like she doesn’t know what dress size she is anymore. She continues in this vein here, with her wig-like hair, overdone make-up and oddly plump face, serving up a definition of ‘sexy’ so hackneyed and obvious that even Martians with no concept of the word would be telling her to put it away. It looks like the sort of a thing a blousy Mae West wore in her 70s, that Miss Piggy would wear in an attempt to seduce Kermit and even her own tacky perfume bottle. None of those looks is a good thing, by the way.

Christina Hendricks in Romona Keveza – Christina Hendricks is famous for her boobs. In case you hadn’t realised this, she’s taken to sticking something oversize and attention-grabbing in the vicinity just to make it that little bit more obvious. Big red hair, big red flower, big red boobs. At least it’s an improvement on the baby falcon she sported last time. I feel like we’ve seen this all before and would like to see Christina switch up her style before it’s too late.

Jennifer Lopez in Zuhair Murad and Marchesa – J. Lo specialises in playing the diva. There’s nothing too overblown for her – feathers, sequins, beading, animal print, bling, cleavage, bring it on! To be honest, tt feels like a role for show (I’d love it if she really sat at home in trackies eating ice-cream from the tub) and here are two of her latest incarnations at the ceremony itself and then for the after-party: most creative way to wear a wedding veil (as a poncho) and better-late-than-never audition for Black Swan. If she gave me an Amber Riley-sized grin, it would look like just bit a fun but she’s taking it all far too seriously for me to not think she just looks ridiculous.

Sandra Bullock in Jenny Packham – This dress is actually beautiful, a glimmering cobweb of loveliness that’s utterly delightful, uncontrived and perfectly-accessorised. The problems begin and end with Sandie’s facial area. The heavy blunt black fringe hangs over this feather-light confection like a black cloud of doom, Emily The Strange having an even worse day than usual. It’s one of those things women in their forties get told makes them look younger, when in fact all it does it make their face look the size of a postage stamp. Secondly, she looks so very sad. I understand why she might be feeling sad at how much has changed since last year’s Golden Globes, but no one wants to see Sandra Bullock sad, do they? It’s like kicking a kitten. It makes me feel sad and it probably makes the dress feel sad. Which is a shame as it really is a lovely dress.