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The Press Room restaurant review – read all about it!

Posted on June 16, 2010 | Leave a comment

UPDATE: The Press Room is now closed.

Many reviews of The Press Room seem to begin and end with their frites (chips to us Brits). Or should that be FRITES!!! And yes, they are delicious but there’s more to The Press Room than that.

Aiming for a modern European brasserie style, with menus on blackboards and pictures scattered at random on the walls (a random-ness I’m sure took hours to achieve!), it has a nice relaxed atmosphere. For dinner, the lights are dimmed and it’s a rather cosy kind of darkness, even when the place started to get packed around 8pm.

When the boyfriend and I arrived around 7pm, we were the first diners in, meaning our service was second to none. Bread (below right) was served almost immediately and our dishes (all hot, I should mention) arrived within 10 minutes of their being ordered, with mains rolling up almost as soon as we’d polished off our starter.

We both opted for the 2-course menu at $260, where you can choose any starter/soup/dessert from the regular menu, with a choice between lamb, sea bass, skate, pork belly or hanger steak as your main. Go with your significant other, with one of you opting for starter and one for dessert, and (as long as your partner isn’t a total gannet) you effectively get a 3-course menu that, given the quality of the food, is a bit of a bargain.

We started with escargots de bourguignon (snails to us Brits, normally $92; above left, click for enlargement ). At many HK restaurants, these are often cooked to the point of apocalypse and arrive at your table dried-up, shrivelled, rubbery imitations of their former sluggy selves, with some overpowering cheese sauce drenched on top attempting to disguise this fact. Here, they were cooked perfectly, allowing their unique texture and subtle taste to shine through. Garlic butter is the norm for escargots but there was an interesting addition of almonds here that was just as tasty – a shame that there wasn’t the usual bed of mashed potato to mop this scrummy juice up!

We tried to use our bread to soak it up and alas, this was the only disappointing aspect of our meal. My boyfriend (ever the comedian) commented that ‘this bread must have lost its absorbing properties a day ago’; I don’t think the bread was actually stale, just that fancy bread that was never soft to start off with. Not a fan – given that the menu is vaguely Gallic in its feel and the French practically orgasm over the breaking of the bread, I did expect better.

Anyway, onto the mains. Only one word: divine.

For those seeking a few more words, I had the roast pork belly with pomme purée (mash to us Brits), apple sauce and cider jus (sauce to us Brits, $202 ; shown left, click for enlargement). The pork belly was absolutely sublime – stupidly delicious, ridiculously soft and tender and dreamy, with fantastically crispy crackling on top. I hate restaurants that give you one artful drizzle of sauce that isn’t enough to wet your upper lip never mind your whole dish, so I was very pleased at the amount of cider jus, which had just the right amount of tang to bring out even more lush flavours from the pork. One of the best mains I’ve had in HK, no question.

The boyfriend (a chip connoisseur fyi) went for the hanger steak and frites (above right, $248). Again, there was a decent amount of sumptuously rich red wine sauce to complement the beautifully tender and juicy strips of steak. It came on a bed of spinach that my boyfriend, not being one for greenery, largely ignored so I have no idea how that tasted. And, of course, the frites…

They arrive in their own canister, they’re so special. What more can be said about them that hasn’t already been said? Crunchy on the outside, soft and fluffy on the inside, just the right side of salty and with the texture and taste of having come from a quality spud. Chips that have some skin on are always the best kind, aren’t they? You may remember me being similarly cock-a-hoop about the chips at SML – SML, The Press Room and The Pawn are all run by the same group, so I’ve only got to try the latter to confirm that their chips are uniformly good (edit: I have and they were!). What’s more, they’re incredibly more-ish; even though I couldn’t finish my mash, I found my fingers creeping to them far too often! The chip connoisseur was happy too (less happy that I munched my way through so many though!).

We rounded things off with the baked chocolate (above, $78) and quite frankly, I could have put away two of these on my own. I’m not entirely sure what it was – some hybrid between cake, sponge, brownie, fudge and warm chocolate – but it was definitely good. The consistency was wonderfully smooth and light but the hit of richness felt like pure chocolatey goodness and its soft creaminess contrasted well with the crunch of the tuile biscuits. The raspberry sauce was a little too tart for me but the waiter did offer to leave it on the side rather than pouring it over, so it’s my own fault (tbf, it did look prettier)!

A few hints for any prospective diners – the Hollywood Road address may fool you into getting off at Central MTR but it’s actually way closer to Sheung Wan (albeit uphill – work up that appetite!) and pretty easy to find as it’s just a stone’s throw along from Man Mo Temple (even if you have no idea what it looks like beforehand, you really can’t miss it). I also noticed an early-bird dinner offer, which looked amazing value, but even so, try and get there earlier if you want a quieter dinner as it clearly attracts a lot of custom from folk in Central getting straight off work.

I’m practically chomping at the bit to visit again, in case this review leaves you in any doubt. Don’t believe everything you read in the papers but do believe all the good stuff you’ve heard about The Press Room – it offers a quality dining experience. And the FRITES!!! aren’t bad either.

The Press Room, 108 Hollywood Road, Central, Hong Kong, 2525 3444


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Tapeo restaurant review – I’d tap that

Posted on June 14, 2010 | 1 comment

UPDATE: Tapeo is *SOB* now closed.

If I had to name my favourite restaurants in HK, Tapeo would come fairly high in the list. So imagine my excitement on learning that another branch of the tapas joint (run by Concept Creations, who also own Belgian eaterie, Frites) had opened nearer my neck of the woods in Sai Wan Ho, even if I was a little nonplussed at the idea. The Chai Wan side of the Island seems to have an air of unloved cousin about it compared to the high-end, gweilo-filled Central side and Tapeo’s other location is right at the beating heart of the desirable Soho area in Central.

However, once I got there, it made perfect sense. Located next to stunning harbour-side views with some clever tables that are actually windows too, it feels totally fitting for Spanish cuisine – what could be more Mediterranean than a fun casual dinner followed by a stroll along the harbour to walk off those calories after?

The view is better than this picture

In fact, I prefer the Sai Wan Ho Tapeo to the one in Central, where it’s all bar seating (all of about 20 seats – and I’m being generous) and the mood often feels set more to ‘hip bar’ than ‘fine dining’, which is a shame as the food definitely justifies the latter tag. The Sai Wan Ho branch actually has tables (gasp!) and lighting that (heavens above!) actually allows you to see what you’re eating (as well as appreciate the skill that goes into it at the open kitchen). And thanks to those open windows and more generous seating arrangements, it’s an altogether less cramped and more comfortable dining experience than in Central – so take that, Soho!

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Chicago: The Musical @ HKAPA review

Posted on June 1, 2010 | 5 comments

Usually, touring productions are to their West End equivalent what Joey was to Friends, The New Class to Saved By The Bell, Joanie Loves Chaaci to Happy Days – diluted, cheaper, less-good versions of the original. So it’s with relief and joy that I can declare that Lunchbox Productions’ Chicago, playing at the HKAPA’s Lyric Theatre until June 20, is defiantly not a case of the above. This version of Chicago would more than happily stand on its own fishnet-clad legs on a London stage. With added jazz hands, of course.

As always with anything Bob Fosse touched, it’s the choreography that’s the star. The ensemble here are fabulous – sexy, sinuous, slinky and with the perfect Fosse hands. I’ve seen the All That Jazz routine countless times but this may just have been the best yet and they are darkly mesmerising throughout, occasionally to the detriment of the main characters and especially brilliant in the courtroom scenes and the eye-popping acrobatics of Razzle Dazzle. It’s a show in which the ensemble are more than just a chorus line; getting involved in the action with a multitude of bit-parts, they deliver practically as many laughs as the main characters.

In fact, my only criticism – and I really am nit-picking as a seasoned musical-goer – is that there were possibly a few too many laughs (even if poor comic timing means that the cast don’t milk nearly enough from usual standout number, Cell Block Tango). As a show about the cult of celebrity, notoriety and ambition, Kander & Ebb’s writing has much to offer a modern audience yet I felt that this production sometimes took the easy route towards the funny bone. Sharon Millerchip’s Roxie Hart has all the ingredients to be the star of the show – a natural wide-eyed charm, bright vocals and the ability to light up the stage whilst hoofing with the best of them (I particularly enjoyed her rendition of Me And My Baby whilst the ventriloquist’s dummy act in We Both Reached For The Gun never fails to delight) – but I’d have liked to see her rely less on her obvious gift for physical comedy in some of her solos.

Deone Zanotto’s Velma Kelly has a wonderfully brassy voice and brings a suitably brassy edge to her performance but I felt she had more to give on two renowned Fosse workouts, I Can’t Do It Alone and When Velma Takes The Stand. Meanwhile, Craig McLachlan’s (Henry Ramsay of the bad 80s perm on Neighbours) silver-tongued lawyer, Billy Flynn, gets lost to the brilliance of the dancers – a few more charisma classes required – and I didn’t feel all that safe with his vocals, either.

The live orchestra is on-stage throughout and cleverly worked into proceedings (conductor Ben Van Tieden is particularly good value for money) and they bring a real energy to proceedings, garnering some of the biggest cheers of the night – as do D C Harlock’s Mary Sunshine and the empathetically dopey Damien Birmingham, as Roxie’s husband Amos (hopefully not just because he was singing ‘that song off Glee’, Mr Cellophane).

Overall, it’s a tremendous night’s entertainment that barely puts a foot (or note) wrong. Chicago may lack the warmth of other big-event musicals, yet more than makes up for it with a grown-up cold-blooded wit and sense of its own theatricality that makes it unique. As one of the few big international productions to grace HK’s shores, I can think of no better cast to have introduced the pleasures of Fosse to our audience. It delivers that trademark razzle-dazzle in spades. With added jazz hands, of course.

8/10

Lunchbox Productions’ Chicago: The Musical is at the Lyric Theatre, Hong Kong Academy of Performing Arts until June 20. Tickets, priced $350-895, available from HK Ticketing, 3128 8288 or online.

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Blissage75 & Triple Oxygen Treatment @ Bliss Spa Hong Kong review

Posted on May 28, 2010 | Leave a comment

bliss spa w hong kong

Following on from my Bliss-full night, the time is ripe to tell you more about my personal experience with Bliss. Lucky me, I am the owner of one very lovely boyfriend who took me to stay at The W for my birthday. Of course, this was just an excuse to work in a chance to have treatments at Bliss Spa. If it’s good enough for Oprah, it’s good enough for me. BEST PRESENT EVER. And hands off ladies, you can’t have him! Here’s a review of the two treatments I received, the Blissage75 massage and the Triple Oxygen Facial.

Blissage75 ($1110)

Leaflet states: ‘A virtual countdown to butter’. For once, a leaflet that doesn’t lie. You just feel like your body is melting. The 75 stands for how many minutes this all-over body massage lasts and let me tell you, it’s not nearly long enough. It begins with this slightly weird but ultimately wonderful warm wax foot wrap where your feet are smothered with hot wax before being shoved in what feels like clingfilm. Odd on paper but truly amazing to experience – your feet just feel like they’re melting into a soft warm happy goo. Loved it. The rest of the massage was pretty good too and never made me feel uncomfortable; although the Blissage75 is perhaps a little short of the unique touches that make other treatments unmistakably Bliss, my body never felt better. No rest for the wicked though…

Triple Oxygen Treatment ($1250)

This facial was an ummm… interesting experience but the results are worth it. 85 minutes long and a great complexion-reviver for all skin types, your face will really go through the works – intensive cleansing, exfoliation, wraps, extractions, masks. Amidst all this, the therapist said, ‘I’m now going to rub some acid on your face’. This was as fun as it sounds. Prickly, tickly, itchy, I had to keep repeating to myself ‘Beauty is pain’ to stop myself from scratching my skin off/bursting into giggles as it felt like my epidermis was fizzing (and no, that isn’t a euphemism!). The drier your skin is, the more intense the sensation so I had particular problems around my lip area, which tingled for most of the rest of the session. At the end, you’ll get blast of oxygen spray which feels like you’re in a wind tunnel, albeit an invigorating healthy one (photo shows woman receiving this part at the Bliss Evening).

The results are instantly obvious, even though you’ve got that shiny pink post-facial thing going on – my skin positively glowed and was so much clearer and radiant. And this is no flash-in-the-pan facial – I felt the results were still visible months on. Plus, with their Triple Oxygen products (face mask, eye mask and moisturiser – click the words to read my reviews), you can replicate the rosy radiance effects at home – the energising face mask is my favourite and without doubt, one of my make-up miracles! And Bliss have now introduced a condensed, 30-minute version of this treatment that you can get at their counters too ($630).

My therapist then asked me if I wanted to head back to my room or return to the Brownie Buffet – stupid question alert! I then proceeded to undo all her good work by stuffing my face with brownie goodness. Never mind…

I know this might look a little pricey but I can honestly say, you get what you pay for. I’ve had massages and facials before but this was a luxury experience through and through; as I’ve mentioned before in my Bliss write-up, it’s all about the attention to detail and the little touches that make you feel special. So the fluffy bathrobe, the amazing views of HK, the décor, the lovely staff, the rubber duckies and of course, the brownies, make it worth it. Even better if like me, you can find someone who loves you enough to stump up for it. And I’m reliably informed by those in the know that these prices are pretty standard for the luxury spa experience.

I never wanted it to end, my whole stay at the W was a totally magical experience (will you think worse of me if I confess to crying when we left?!). Go on, treat yourself and indulge – your body will thank you for it, even if your bank balance won’t!

Read my review of Bliss Spa’s Fabulous Facial

P.S. Look! A duck!

Bliss Spa, W Hotel, 1 Austin Road, West Kowloon Station, 3717 2797

www.w-hongkong.com/en/bliss-spa

[Banner and interior photo from W Hotel Hong Kong’s website]

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Bliss Spa: A Bliss-full night

Posted on May 28, 2010 | Leave a comment

Writing about my lovely experience at Bliss Spa at The W Hotel has been one of those things on my very long to-do list for this blog for a very long time. However, last night, I was treated to An Evening At Bliss (thanks to the lovely folks from Flare Communications and Bliss Spa itself) so I really can’t make excuses any more. So here’s a little rambling about why Bliss is wonderful, with reviews of the two treatments I received (the Blissage75 massage and the Triple Oxygen Facial) to follow…

Why Bliss Spa and The W are a perfect match (even if one likes Grease and one likes Snatch – joke for A*Teens fans only!):

What I love about The W is that although it’s a five-star hotel, it’s not one of the traditional older “institutions” that HK has in abundance. Instead, it’s contemporary luxury with a feeling of individuality to both its design and services (and a few Asian eyebrows were raised at staff wearing Converse!). Similarly, although Bliss is a luxury spa, it’s not of those deathly-quiet ones where you feel like a monk taking holy orders. There’s a sense of fun in addition to the obvious quality on offer and fantastic attention to detail in quirky little touches. Names with a sense of humour, rubber ducks peeking out from every orifice and a Brownie Buffet.

Hang on, did you say Brownie Buffet?!

Yes and it’s amazing as it sounds. There’s a whole buffet full of delectable treats laid on for your gastronomic pleasure, including cheese and crackers, olives, homemade lemonade (delish) and various teas. But it’s obviously all about the brownies, which are actually amongst the best I’ve tasted in HK.

Pic does neither brownies nor view justice - apols

Defiantly un-shop-bought or mass-produced, they’re gooey, chocolatey, fudgey, nutty, melt-in-the-mouth lush. And at Bliss, no mardy therapist will slap away your hand from reaching for your third… or in my case, seventh… brownie. Julie from Bliss told me that in the States, they have cook-offs amongst local bakeries for who produces the brownies for their spas – such a cute idea! They should do some HK variant – daan tart, anyone?!

Other cool things, in no particular order:

  • The highest spa in HK (72nd floor, biatches!) means you get amazing views over HK, especially at night, and thankfully they’ve made huge windows for you to enjoy this (as you can see from the banner picture, which I can take no credit for – it’s from their Facebook). And a definite improvement on the claustrophobic cupboards you often have local facials in here.
  • Relaxation lounges have an iPod dock so you can listen to your own music whilst you wait.
  • The room where you get those messy detox wrap things actually has a shower above the bed where you lie, so you don’t even have to move to get clean. They should clearly install this technology for all beds. But when you do move, you head for these amazing showers that completely immerse you in yummy smells (whilst still getting you clean, obviously). Staff wear flippers. Amazing!
  • All this is very well and good, but at the end of the day, you’re essentially going to be spending your time face down on a bed and all the rubber ducks in the world won’t matter unless Bliss’ treatments (and products) are amazing and genuinely work. Which they do. (Phew!)

Leading us nicely onto…

Alas, I’m such a Bliss junkie, most of the products we tried at the evening I was already familiar with – and with names like FatGirl Slim, how can you resist?! In fact, I think some other bloggers thought I was some Bliss mole planted to indoctrinate them to the ways of Bliss such was my freaky product knowledge (alas, not guilty either). Sadly for my bank account, I did meet some new products and I now have some more stuff on my wish-list:

Steep Clean Pore Purifying Mask – The gorgeous Bastian from Flare totally sold this deep-clean mask to me! A small test of the blackhead-banisher definitely made me want to try it out, if only for the dual-coloured-ness of it (it comes out in two streams of blue and green – like toothpaste – which encourages you to really massage it together on your face)! My pores are so big that small animals probably fall into them when I’m asleep so the claim that 73% of people noticed a reduction in size can only be a good thing.

Didn't know Fu Manchu was a blogger

Poetic Waxing – I watched two girls get waxed with this first-hand and was amazed at the results. No squeals of pain, no watering eyes, no fingernail-indentations in the counter, not even much redness. For a waxing virgin like me, it also looks ridiculously easy to use at home – heat in the microwave, apply, tap to see if ready, peel off, look fab. Plus you can pretend you have a moustache like Peggy did (hat optional). We also got to examine the removed wax complete with hairs – luverly. But solid proof that this works.

Body Butter – I tried a sampler size of their lemon and sage body butter before and loved both the scent and the creamy, dreamy effects. Marcia Kilgore, founder of Bliss, is also responsible for one of my other favourite body butters (Soap & Glory’s The Righteous Butter) so the omens are good.

So overall, a great night (and extra thanks to Bastian from Flare and Julie from Bliss for being super-duper lovely to me). I hope I get invited again, although I clearly need no conversion to the wonders of Bliss and you can expect reviews of some of the other products in my goodie bag sometime soon!

[Banner photo from W Hotel Hong Kong’s website]

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Great Forgotten Pop Songs: Alexis Strum – It Could Be You

Posted on May 26, 2010 | 2 comments

Poor old Alexis Strum. The eternal bridesmaid of British pop music, her whole back catalogue could feature in Great Forgotten Pop Songs Of Our Time. Leaving behind a trail of unreleased singles, shelved albums and general almost-but-not-quite-ness, Strum’s work still sounds as timeless and beautiful as it did when it was first (almost) released – making picking just one song to write about rather difficult.

Strum was first dropped after her more poppy debut single and album (the partly Xenomania-produced Addicted) never saw the light of day but come second album time, it looked like her fortunes might change. One song was made the theme tune to a much-hyped new ITV drama, she had a column on PopJustice, some old songs had been covered by Kylie and Rachel Stevens and the video for her lastest single, It Could Be You, was in the top ten most requested chart on The Box. Meanwhile, with the likes of Dido, Katie Melua, KT Tunstall and Lucie Silvas ruling the airwaves, it seemed that the market was ripe for talented female singer-songwriters. In a true mark of ‘making it’, I was even set to interview her!

Of course, in the great tradition of Britishness, this could only mean one thing – it would all go tits up. The release of It Could Be You was shelved, the release of parent album Cocoon was shelved, revised to feature the theme tune, then ummm… shelved again. Her record company couldn’t even get this right – both times, it was accidentally released to online stores, meaning us Strum devotees were able to legally purchase her material. And thank God for the record company’s ineptitude as Cocoon is a gem. (Needless to say and probably most crushingly for Strum, I didn’t get to interview her either).

(Sadly, there is no official trace of It Could Be You on Youtube… so here it is, relegated to soundtracking a Twilight fan video. Sigh)

It Could Be You is trademark Strum at her best. Her ballads, although lovelorn and haunting, are never boring, sappy or sickly-sweet; they burn with a sincerity and honesty that sets her apart from the rest of the field. Whilst lacking the booming Tedder-penned epic quality that has come to define a great ballad these days, Strum’s songs use interesting melodies and subtle synths to keep things interesting and although more than capable of writing a clever lyric (Bad Haircut, Nothing Good About This Goodbye), it’s the stunning simplicity of It Could Be You that makes it so easy to fall in love with.

‘Could I borrow your oxygen, I wanna breathe what you breathe’ is as arrestingly heart-stopping a first line as you could wish for. Yes, it’s an obvious reference to make (sanctimoniously declaring ‘you’re my oxygen’ is practically a requirement in ballads these days) but it perfectly captures that headlong rush of being in love. Strum’s vocals are always chillingly flawless but here, she shines with a delicate anguish on lines like ‘the kiss I almost taste’ and ‘the way your voice speaks to me inside/I cannot hide’.

It’s a simple idea, beautifully executed, with a dreamy quality that positively mists up your speakers.

Meanwhile, Alexis Strum (despite having a stonking name destined for pop) has given up music and is pursuing a career in acting. Well done, record companies. And my entirely legally-purchased music files no longer work because they were bought from Woolworths, which went bankrupt, taking my media usage rights with them. Well done, DRM copy-protection. In short, the only good thing left about this whole sorry affair is the music – and thankfully, very good music it is too. For anyone else, it wouldn’t be worth the trouble. For Strum, the struggles only add to its shadowy brilliance.

UK Chart Peak: Unreleased
Key lyrics: ‘Could I borrow your oxygen, I wanna breathe what you what breathe’
Get more: Alexis Strum – Nothing Good About This Goodbye, Bad Haircut, Stay Until Summer

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Great Forgotten Pop Songs: Ainslie Henderson – Keep Me A Secret

Posted on May 16, 2010 | 6 comments

There probably aren’t that many Top 5 singles that have been practically disowned by their singer/writer, especially when they are rather beautifully-crafted pop gems that most artists would be thrilled to have had a hand in. The next GREAT FORGOTTEN POP SONG OF OUR TIME (yes, the capitals are necessary to create that epic, booming voice feel) is Ainslie Henderson’s Keep Me A Secret.

Henderson was a contestant on the first series of BBC’s Fame Academy, the short-lived rival to ITV’s PopStars/Idol/X-Factor juggernaut. He was the ‘bad boy’ of the house for ummm… pushing over a Christmas tree (this was in the more innocent age of reality tv) and from what I remember, blamed his behaviour on feeling threatened by the also young, male, good-looking and Scottish eventual winner David Sneddon, which if you’ve seen David Sneddon is tantamount to feeling threatened by a pink fluffy teddy bear. Henderson was a little bit emo (possibly before the phrase emo was invented), played the guitar and would stomp about or clutch the microphone angstily when he performed, which meant he would probably never even have auditioned for the ultra-glossy ITV vehicles, let alone got as far as appearing at the live stages.

One of the major differences between the shows (apart from the dodgy decision by the Beeb to let the other contestants have the final vote at ‘evicting’ someone) was Fame Academy’s emphasis on creating an artist, rather than a *cough* karaoke *cough* singer. Sounds pretentious but it basically boiled down to getting the contestants writing their own material, which meant come release time, we didn’t just get a slew of covers (David Sneddon’s rather nice piano-driven debut album is wholly original, self-written songs). Keep Me A Secret, penned by Henderson himself and two other contestants, was a fruit of these labours.

Keep Me A Secret is a rare case of a pop song with indie sensibilities not being a complete abomination. It features a gorgeous fluttery strings section hook, some twinkly tambourine shimmers and a properly anthemic chorus, but it’s the song-writing that lifts it up to a higher plane of pop record. It’s a song where the lyrics are overtly all about doing your best not to fall in love, where the reality of the track is that you’re just about doing everything but. Henderson nails this through expression, both in his wonderfully longing vocal performance and the intoxicating manner of the lyrics.

Other songs would say ‘Don’t kiss me’; Henderson’s says ‘Keep my kisses off your lipsticks, stop me swallowing your charms’. This unusual way of spinning a line makes it more like poetry; it’s tactile, sensual and sexy, with lines like ‘sizzle when it’s face on face, skin on skin’ and ‘don’t let embraces linger, try to keep our arms untied’ bristling with a physicality that’s all the more stirring because it’s forbidden. Elsewhere, it’s the constant push-and-pull of the lyrics that drives it – ‘I’m trying to keep you out and I’m trying to keep me in’, ‘I’ll keep you out of my dreams if you keep me out of yours’ and the brilliantly-fashioned yearning of the middle eight that deserves to be quoted in it’s entirety: ‘All I’m asking/Is for nothing/And if nothing is enough for you/Oh leave it unsaid, keep it inside your head/Under your breath…’ (Henderson keeps that last note hanging with a desperate ache)

It’s not all great – there’s a dodgy bit around the second verse where Henderson rhymes mad with ermmm… mad that always makes me cringe. But for the most part, it’s truly gorgeous song-writing married with a charming sprightly melody.

Apparently, Henderson’s other songs were considered too risqué for a major label and Mercury dropped him before releasing a second single, let alone a whole album that would corrupt young ears. So proud is he of Keep Me A Secret that it doesn’t even feature on his self-released album, Growing Flowers By Candlelight, and has been airbrushed out of existence on his official site. He needn’t be ashamed. This is one secret I’m letting you in on – Keep Me A Secret is wonderful.

UK chart peak: 5
Key lyrics: ‘Keep my kisses off your lipstick, stop me swallowing your charms’; ‘Keep me out of my dreams, if you’ll keep me out of yours’
Get more not unattractive above-average boys with guitars: Alistair Griffin – Oblivion, Alex Gardner – I’m Not Mad

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Elizabeth Arden Eight Hour Cream review

Posted on May 13, 2010 | Leave a comment

A quick Google of Elizabeth Arden’s legendary Eight Hour Cream will have you convinced that this cult classic will cure all it touches. So will the blurb on the back of the packaging: it ‘soothes, restores, calms and helps relieve chapped, cracked, dry skin… soothes roughness, redness and minor skin irritations… provides anti-inflammatory benefits… soothes and comforts minor weather burns, scrapes and abrasions’. That’s a lot of soothing for one tube.

Eight Hour Cream comes armed with glowing reviews, celebrity endorsements (Catherine Zeta-Jones, Rachel Bilson, Amanda Peet, Jennifer Love-Hewitt) and an illustrious 80 year heritage from Liz Arden herself, who used it to soothe the legs of her horses.

I think the fact it was suitable to be used on horses highlights one of the main reasons I didn’t really get on with it – it really is industrial-strength, heavyweight stuff. And it really isn’t a cream; at best, it’s a balm but more accurately, it’s a thick orange-coloured wax with a strong medicinal smell.

I dismissed the smell saying ‘it’s not as if I’m going to eat it’ but I found myself inadvertently doing just that when I used it on my lips – a not entirely pleasant experience. I’ve been struggling with really dry lips for months now and, after reading about the Eight Hour Cream, thought it was time to bring out the big guns. The results were disappointing – after weeks, it looked and felt no better than using my regular balm. And what with the orange colour, unpleasant smell and taste, too-shiny finish and higher price tag, I think I’ll stick to my trusty make-up miracle Vaseline.

One of the major problems I encountered with the Eight Hour Cream was just how sticky it was. Although it claims to be great for cracked and dry skin, which I have aplenty, I found it a hard job keeping it there long enough for it to work its magic (its name comes from a client saying it made her child’s scraped knee all better in just eight hours). Strands of hair would frequently stick to my lips, which would in turn wipe off all the cream onto whatever glasses and bottles I’d drink from. I’d rub the Eight Hour Cream into my dry, peeling hands only to then find most of it rubbing off onto my bathroom’s doorknob when I left! Some make-up artists recommend using it as a shiny highlighter for cheeks – surely only possible in the controlled conditions of a photo-shoot and with a Croydon facelift hairdo!

On the places that haven’t come into close contact with surfaces, I can see some of the hype for 8 Hour. I had an itchy, flaking elbow that I dosed up with 8 Hour before I went to bed and by the next morning, it was nearly all better – so I guess that client from decades ago wasn’t just a figment of a PR’s imagination.

Overall, Elizabeth Arden’s Eight Hour Cream fell short of expectations. I’ll be sticking to Vaseline, which I find better in nearly every aspect (texture, colour, taste, results, variety of uses), and keep 8 Hour for more serious skin complaints on anywhere other than my face. Even though I’m in no rush to buy again, one of the pros of the cream is that one tube does seem to last ages so it looks like it will be a bathroom cabinet staple for a while to come!

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Great Forgotten Pop Songs: The Pipettes – Pull Shapes

Posted on May 3, 2010 | Leave a comment

If Pull Shapes has been released in the 60s, it would now be a Radio 2 staple, feature on countless crappy compilation albums and be one of those tunes that everyone inexplicably comes out the womb knowing. Instead, it had the misfortune to be released in 2006 and miserably limped in at number 26 on the charts. There are fewer greater injustices in pop because Pull Shapes is glorious, radiant life-affirming stuff. Goodness pours out of its every chord.

The Pipettes were a trio that specialised in homages to 60s’ girl group pop with their Phil Spector-created ‘wall of sound’. To hammer home this fact, they wore polka-dot dresses and did cute synchronised hand movements dances, which often made their schtick veer more closely to end-of-the-pier pastiche than the majesty of their tunes really needed them to. They’ve also gone enough line-up changes to cement their place in girl group history (as a girl group trio, they’ve now enjoyed the services of seven members and that’s not including the comings and goings of their backing band, The Casettes). I once wrote a brief history of the band and ended it with ‘no-one got divorced, beheaded or died’ which just about sums up the absurdity of the revolving doors of The Pipettes, as they’re now a duet of sisters with no 60s’ influences in sight (or should that be sound?!) yet Pull Shapes captures the group at their, possibly never to be attained again, peak.

From the opening thirty-five seconds of instrumental intro, you just know it’s going to be divine. Kicking off with a drum-roll (as all good things often do), sound upon sound is layered until a joyous trilling section marks the arrival of voices. The lyrics are inconsequential – simple, almost trivial chatter about liking disco, hearing drums and dancing (duh…) – but it’s all in the delivery. Whilst the current line-up may have the better harmonies, they’re not a patch on the combination of Gwenno (the only one still remaining), Rosay and RiotBecki for charisma. The verses are shouted with pure tangible joy and when the harmonies do kick in on the delightful chorus mixed with heady backing instrumentation, it’s just too delicious for words. Indeed, it can only be expressed through dance – good job they’re imploring you to ‘pull shapes’ (love it – so British) as you’ll no doubt find yourself busting out a little boogie, even in the full glare of public transport.

There’s then the appetite-whetting genius of the stop-start ‘What do you when the music stops?’ section and the always-a-winner audience interaction of ‘Clap your hands if you want some more!’ before the thing sprints to an ending that comes far too soon. There’s this giddy whirling noise that comes to the foreground on the penultimate chorus that is the exact sonic expression of how I feel when I hear Pull Shapes – dizzy with joy and high on life. And even though I said it’s over far too soon, it adheres to the Eurovision rule of the perfect 3 minutes; all the fat’s been trimmed, it ends with a bang rather than a fade-out and you find your finger twitching towards the ‘repeat’ button practically before it’s over.

Its retro stylings mean that it doesn’t get dated, instead merely cementing its position as a forgotten classic. After hearing it, you might (like my boyfriend) find yourself prone to yelling ‘Pull Shapes!’ at random moments. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Truly glorious life-affirming stuff. I’ll meet you on the dancefloor.

UK chart peak: 26
Key lyric: ‘I just wanna move, I don’t care what the song’s about!’
Get more: The Pipettes – ABC, Your Kisses Are Wasted On Me, Judy

Read my interview with The Pipettes here

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Great Forgotten Pop Songs Of Our Time: An Introduction

Posted on May 1, 2010 | 2 comments

I don’t really know if things can ever make a grand entrance on blogs but… TA-DA! New feature alert! Maybe an asterisk or two will make it look better so welcome to:

* GREAT FORGOTTEN POP SONGS OF OUR TIME *

It basically does what it says on the tin, so over time you can expect all the best flops, unloved album tracks, long-forgotten B-Sides and one-hit wonders to be gracing these pages. There will be a fair smattering of starlets apparently “big in Japan” (or, as is more likely with my music taste, Sweden), of records that weren’t as massive as they should have been or of ones that kinda were but were hastily filed away in the dusty drawers of the top 40 before anyone noticed. The Crazy In Loves, Toxics, Thrillers and Like A Prayers of the world have had enough words written about them (and deservedly so), but it’s time for their lesser-lauded cousins to have their moment in the sun. Admittedly a very small moment and a very dim sun, but hey I’m trying.

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