Monthly Archives: May 2010

Tongue in cheek?

This item neatly encompasses many HK things – strange food flavouring, being in thrall to all things Japanese and an intriguing use of English.

With a craving for Roast Beef Monster Munch and Chargrilled Steak crisps, this was the best I could find: Yamayoshi’s Beef Tongue Salt.

Were these crisps? Were they dried pieces of cow tongue? Was it made from salt derived from beef tongue? And if so, what is salt derived from beef tongue? Presumably it’s a bit of a specialty if it’s been going since 2002.

Looking at the ingredients list left me none the wiser, other than telling me that ‘crustacean’ may be involved in the action too. Which was reassuring.

The cartoon cow looks frankly over all this nonsense.

P.S. They weren’t even that nice. (From Log-On)

Blissage75 & Triple Oxygen Treatment @ Bliss Spa Hong Kong review

bliss spa w hong kong

Following on from my Bliss-full night, the time is ripe to tell you more about my personal experience with Bliss. Lucky me, I am the owner of one very lovely boyfriend who took me to stay at The W for my birthday. Of course, this was just an excuse to work in a chance to have treatments at Bliss Spa. If it’s good enough for Oprah, it’s good enough for me. BEST PRESENT EVER. And hands off ladies, you can’t have him! Here’s a review of the two treatments I received, the Blissage75 massage and the Triple Oxygen Facial.

Blissage75 ($1110)

Leaflet states: ‘A virtual countdown to butter’. For once, a leaflet that doesn’t lie. You just feel like your body is melting. The 75 stands for how many minutes this all-over body massage lasts and let me tell you, it’s not nearly long enough. It begins with this slightly weird but ultimately wonderful warm wax foot wrap where your feet are smothered with hot wax before being shoved in what feels like clingfilm. Odd on paper but truly amazing to experience – your feet just feel like they’re melting into a soft warm happy goo. Loved it. The rest of the massage was pretty good too and never made me feel uncomfortable; although the Blissage75 is perhaps a little short of the unique touches that make other treatments unmistakably Bliss, my body never felt better. No rest for the wicked though…

Triple Oxygen Treatment ($1250)

This facial was an ummm… interesting experience but the results are worth it. 85 minutes long and a great complexion-reviver for all skin types, your face will really go through the works – intensive cleansing, exfoliation, wraps, extractions, masks. Amidst all this, the therapist said, ‘I’m now going to rub some acid on your face’. This was as fun as it sounds. Prickly, tickly, itchy, I had to keep repeating to myself ‘Beauty is pain’ to stop myself from scratching my skin off/bursting into giggles as it felt like my epidermis was fizzing (and no, that isn’t a euphemism!). The drier your skin is, the more intense the sensation so I had particular problems around my lip area, which tingled for most of the rest of the session. At the end, you’ll get blast of oxygen spray which feels like you’re in a wind tunnel, albeit an invigorating healthy one (photo shows woman receiving this part at the Bliss Evening).

The results are instantly obvious, even though you’ve got that shiny pink post-facial thing going on – my skin positively glowed and was so much clearer and radiant. And this is no flash-in-the-pan facial – I felt the results were still visible months on. Plus, with their Triple Oxygen products (face mask, eye mask and moisturiser – click the words to read my reviews), you can replicate the rosy radiance effects at home – the energising face mask is my favourite and without doubt, one of my make-up miracles! And Bliss have now introduced a condensed, 30-minute version of this treatment that you can get at their counters too ($630).

My therapist then asked me if I wanted to head back to my room or return to the Brownie Buffet – stupid question alert! I then proceeded to undo all her good work by stuffing my face with brownie goodness. Never mind…

I know this might look a little pricey but I can honestly say, you get what you pay for. I’ve had massages and facials before but this was a luxury experience through and through; as I’ve mentioned before in my Bliss write-up, it’s all about the attention to detail and the little touches that make you feel special. So the fluffy bathrobe, the amazing views of HK, the décor, the lovely staff, the rubber duckies and of course, the brownies, make it worth it. Even better if like me, you can find someone who loves you enough to stump up for it. And I’m reliably informed by those in the know that these prices are pretty standard for the luxury spa experience.

I never wanted it to end, my whole stay at the W was a totally magical experience (will you think worse of me if I confess to crying when we left?!). Go on, treat yourself and indulge – your body will thank you for it, even if your bank balance won’t!

Read my review of Bliss Spa’s Fabulous Facial

P.S. Look! A duck!

Bliss Spa, W Hotel, 1 Austin Road, West Kowloon Station, 3717 2797

www.w-hongkong.com/en/bliss-spa

[Banner and interior photo from W Hotel Hong Kong’s website]

Bliss Spa: A Bliss-full night

Writing about my lovely experience at Bliss Spa at The W Hotel has been one of those things on my very long to-do list for this blog for a very long time. However, last night, I was treated to An Evening At Bliss (thanks to the lovely folks from Flare Communications and Bliss Spa itself) so I really can’t make excuses any more. So here’s a little rambling about why Bliss is wonderful, with reviews of the two treatments I received (the Blissage75 massage and the Triple Oxygen Facial) to follow…

Why Bliss Spa and The W are a perfect match (even if one likes Grease and one likes Snatch – joke for A*Teens fans only!):

What I love about The W is that although it’s a five-star hotel, it’s not one of the traditional older “institutions” that HK has in abundance. Instead, it’s contemporary luxury with a feeling of individuality to both its design and services (and a few Asian eyebrows were raised at staff wearing Converse!). Similarly, although Bliss is a luxury spa, it’s not of those deathly-quiet ones where you feel like a monk taking holy orders. There’s a sense of fun in addition to the obvious quality on offer and fantastic attention to detail in quirky little touches. Names with a sense of humour, rubber ducks peeking out from every orifice and a Brownie Buffet.

Hang on, did you say Brownie Buffet?!

Yes and it’s amazing as it sounds. There’s a whole buffet full of delectable treats laid on for your gastronomic pleasure, including cheese and crackers, olives, homemade lemonade (delish) and various teas. But it’s obviously all about the brownies, which are actually amongst the best I’ve tasted in HK.

Pic does neither brownies nor view justice - apols

Defiantly un-shop-bought or mass-produced, they’re gooey, chocolatey, fudgey, nutty, melt-in-the-mouth lush. And at Bliss, no mardy therapist will slap away your hand from reaching for your third… or in my case, seventh… brownie. Julie from Bliss told me that in the States, they have cook-offs amongst local bakeries for who produces the brownies for their spas – such a cute idea! They should do some HK variant – daan tart, anyone?!

Other cool things, in no particular order:

  • The highest spa in HK (72nd floor, biatches!) means you get amazing views over HK, especially at night, and thankfully they’ve made huge windows for you to enjoy this (as you can see from the banner picture, which I can take no credit for – it’s from their Facebook). And a definite improvement on the claustrophobic cupboards you often have local facials in here.
  • Relaxation lounges have an iPod dock so you can listen to your own music whilst you wait.
  • The room where you get those messy detox wrap things actually has a shower above the bed where you lie, so you don’t even have to move to get clean. They should clearly install this technology for all beds. But when you do move, you head for these amazing showers that completely immerse you in yummy smells (whilst still getting you clean, obviously). Staff wear flippers. Amazing!
  • All this is very well and good, but at the end of the day, you’re essentially going to be spending your time face down on a bed and all the rubber ducks in the world won’t matter unless Bliss’ treatments (and products) are amazing and genuinely work. Which they do. (Phew!)

Leading us nicely onto…

Alas, I’m such a Bliss junkie, most of the products we tried at the evening I was already familiar with – and with names like FatGirl Slim, how can you resist?! In fact, I think some other bloggers thought I was some Bliss mole planted to indoctrinate them to the ways of Bliss such was my freaky product knowledge (alas, not guilty either). Sadly for my bank account, I did meet some new products and I now have some more stuff on my wish-list:

Steep Clean Pore Purifying Mask – The gorgeous Bastian from Flare totally sold this deep-clean mask to me! A small test of the blackhead-banisher definitely made me want to try it out, if only for the dual-coloured-ness of it (it comes out in two streams of blue and green – like toothpaste – which encourages you to really massage it together on your face)! My pores are so big that small animals probably fall into them when I’m asleep so the claim that 73% of people noticed a reduction in size can only be a good thing.

Didn't know Fu Manchu was a blogger

Poetic Waxing – I watched two girls get waxed with this first-hand and was amazed at the results. No squeals of pain, no watering eyes, no fingernail-indentations in the counter, not even much redness. For a waxing virgin like me, it also looks ridiculously easy to use at home – heat in the microwave, apply, tap to see if ready, peel off, look fab. Plus you can pretend you have a moustache like Peggy did (hat optional). We also got to examine the removed wax complete with hairs – luverly. But solid proof that this works.

Body Butter – I tried a sampler size of their lemon and sage body butter before and loved both the scent and the creamy, dreamy effects. Marcia Kilgore, founder of Bliss, is also responsible for one of my other favourite body butters (Soap & Glory’s The Righteous Butter) so the omens are good.

So overall, a great night (and extra thanks to Bastian from Flare and Julie from Bliss for being super-duper lovely to me). I hope I get invited again, although I clearly need no conversion to the wonders of Bliss and you can expect reviews of some of the other products in my goodie bag sometime soon!

[Banner photo from W Hotel Hong Kong’s website]

Great Forgotten Pop Songs: Alexis Strum – It Could Be You

Poor old Alexis Strum. The eternal bridesmaid of British pop music, her whole back catalogue could feature in Great Forgotten Pop Songs Of Our Time. Leaving behind a trail of unreleased singles, shelved albums and general almost-but-not-quite-ness, Strum’s work still sounds as timeless and beautiful as it did when it was first (almost) released – making picking just one song to write about rather difficult.

Strum was first dropped after her more poppy debut single and album (the partly Xenomania-produced Addicted) never saw the light of day but come second album time, it looked like her fortunes might change. One song was made the theme tune to a much-hyped new ITV drama, she had a column on PopJustice, some old songs had been covered by Kylie and Rachel Stevens and the video for her lastest single, It Could Be You, was in the top ten most requested chart on The Box. Meanwhile, with the likes of Dido, Katie Melua, KT Tunstall and Lucie Silvas ruling the airwaves, it seemed that the market was ripe for talented female singer-songwriters. In a true mark of ‘making it’, I was even set to interview her!

Of course, in the great tradition of Britishness, this could only mean one thing – it would all go tits up. The release of It Could Be You was shelved, the release of parent album Cocoon was shelved, revised to feature the theme tune, then ummm… shelved again. Her record company couldn’t even get this right – both times, it was accidentally released to online stores, meaning us Strum devotees were able to legally purchase her material. And thank God for the record company’s ineptitude as Cocoon is a gem. (Needless to say and probably most crushingly for Strum, I didn’t get to interview her either).

(Sadly, there is no official trace of It Could Be You on Youtube… so here it is, relegated to soundtracking a Twilight fan video. Sigh)

It Could Be You is trademark Strum at her best. Her ballads, although lovelorn and haunting, are never boring, sappy or sickly-sweet; they burn with a sincerity and honesty that sets her apart from the rest of the field. Whilst lacking the booming Tedder-penned epic quality that has come to define a great ballad these days, Strum’s songs use interesting melodies and subtle synths to keep things interesting and although more than capable of writing a clever lyric (Bad Haircut, Nothing Good About This Goodbye), it’s the stunning simplicity of It Could Be You that makes it so easy to fall in love with.

‘Could I borrow your oxygen, I wanna breathe what you breathe’ is as arrestingly heart-stopping a first line as you could wish for. Yes, it’s an obvious reference to make (sanctimoniously declaring ‘you’re my oxygen’ is practically a requirement in ballads these days) but it perfectly captures that headlong rush of being in love. Strum’s vocals are always chillingly flawless but here, she shines with a delicate anguish on lines like ‘the kiss I almost taste’ and ‘the way your voice speaks to me inside/I cannot hide’.

It’s a simple idea, beautifully executed, with a dreamy quality that positively mists up your speakers.

Meanwhile, Alexis Strum (despite having a stonking name destined for pop) has given up music and is pursuing a career in acting. Well done, record companies. And my entirely legally-purchased music files no longer work because they were bought from Woolworths, which went bankrupt, taking my media usage rights with them. Well done, DRM copy-protection. In short, the only good thing left about this whole sorry affair is the music – and thankfully, very good music it is too. For anyone else, it wouldn’t be worth the trouble. For Strum, the struggles only add to its shadowy brilliance.

UK Chart Peak: Unreleased
Key lyrics: ‘Could I borrow your oxygen, I wanna breathe what you what breathe’
Get more: Alexis Strum – Nothing Good About This Goodbye, Bad Haircut, Stay Until Summer

Great Forgotten Pop Songs: Ainslie Henderson – Keep Me A Secret

There probably aren’t that many Top 5 singles that have been practically disowned by their singer/writer, especially when they are rather beautifully-crafted pop gems that most artists would be thrilled to have had a hand in. The next GREAT FORGOTTEN POP SONG OF OUR TIME (yes, the capitals are necessary to create that epic, booming voice feel) is Ainslie Henderson’s Keep Me A Secret.

Henderson was a contestant on the first series of BBC’s Fame Academy, the short-lived rival to ITV’s PopStars/Idol/X-Factor juggernaut. He was the ‘bad boy’ of the house for ummm… pushing over a Christmas tree (this was in the more innocent age of reality tv) and from what I remember, blamed his behaviour on feeling threatened by the also young, male, good-looking and Scottish eventual winner David Sneddon, which if you’ve seen David Sneddon is tantamount to feeling threatened by a pink fluffy teddy bear. Henderson was a little bit emo (possibly before the phrase emo was invented), played the guitar and would stomp about or clutch the microphone angstily when he performed, which meant he would probably never even have auditioned for the ultra-glossy ITV vehicles, let alone got as far as appearing at the live stages.

One of the major differences between the shows (apart from the dodgy decision by the Beeb to let the other contestants have the final vote at ‘evicting’ someone) was Fame Academy’s emphasis on creating an artist, rather than a *cough* karaoke *cough* singer. Sounds pretentious but it basically boiled down to getting the contestants writing their own material, which meant come release time, we didn’t just get a slew of covers (David Sneddon’s rather nice piano-driven debut album is wholly original, self-written songs). Keep Me A Secret, penned by Henderson himself and two other contestants, was a fruit of these labours.

Keep Me A Secret is a rare case of a pop song with indie sensibilities not being a complete abomination. It features a gorgeous fluttery strings section hook, some twinkly tambourine shimmers and a properly anthemic chorus, but it’s the song-writing that lifts it up to a higher plane of pop record. It’s a song where the lyrics are overtly all about doing your best not to fall in love, where the reality of the track is that you’re just about doing everything but. Henderson nails this through expression, both in his wonderfully longing vocal performance and the intoxicating manner of the lyrics.

Other songs would say ‘Don’t kiss me’; Henderson’s says ‘Keep my kisses off your lipsticks, stop me swallowing your charms’. This unusual way of spinning a line makes it more like poetry; it’s tactile, sensual and sexy, with lines like ‘sizzle when it’s face on face, skin on skin’ and ‘don’t let embraces linger, try to keep our arms untied’ bristling with a physicality that’s all the more stirring because it’s forbidden. Elsewhere, it’s the constant push-and-pull of the lyrics that drives it – ‘I’m trying to keep you out and I’m trying to keep me in’, ‘I’ll keep you out of my dreams if you keep me out of yours’ and the brilliantly-fashioned yearning of the middle eight that deserves to be quoted in it’s entirety: ‘All I’m asking/Is for nothing/And if nothing is enough for you/Oh leave it unsaid, keep it inside your head/Under your breath…’ (Henderson keeps that last note hanging with a desperate ache)

It’s not all great – there’s a dodgy bit around the second verse where Henderson rhymes mad with ermmm… mad that always makes me cringe. But for the most part, it’s truly gorgeous song-writing married with a charming sprightly melody.

Apparently, Henderson’s other songs were considered too risqué for a major label and Mercury dropped him before releasing a second single, let alone a whole album that would corrupt young ears. So proud is he of Keep Me A Secret that it doesn’t even feature on his self-released album, Growing Flowers By Candlelight, and has been airbrushed out of existence on his official site. He needn’t be ashamed. This is one secret I’m letting you in on – Keep Me A Secret is wonderful.

UK chart peak: 5
Key lyrics: ‘Keep my kisses off your lipstick, stop me swallowing your charms’; ‘Keep me out of my dreams, if you’ll keep me out of yours’
Get more not unattractive above-average boys with guitars: Alistair Griffin – Oblivion, Alex Gardner – I’m Not Mad

Elizabeth Arden Eight Hour Cream review

A quick Google of Elizabeth Arden’s legendary Eight Hour Cream will have you convinced that this cult classic will cure all it touches. So will the blurb on the back of the packaging: it ‘soothes, restores, calms and helps relieve chapped, cracked, dry skin… soothes roughness, redness and minor skin irritations… provides anti-inflammatory benefits… soothes and comforts minor weather burns, scrapes and abrasions’. That’s a lot of soothing for one tube.

Eight Hour Cream comes armed with glowing reviews, celebrity endorsements (Catherine Zeta-Jones, Rachel Bilson, Amanda Peet, Jennifer Love-Hewitt) and an illustrious 80 year heritage from Liz Arden herself, who used it to soothe the legs of her horses.

I think the fact it was suitable to be used on horses highlights one of the main reasons I didn’t really get on with it – it really is industrial-strength, heavyweight stuff. And it really isn’t a cream; at best, it’s a balm but more accurately, it’s a thick orange-coloured wax with a strong medicinal smell.

I dismissed the smell saying ‘it’s not as if I’m going to eat it’ but I found myself inadvertently doing just that when I used it on my lips – a not entirely pleasant experience. I’ve been struggling with really dry lips for months now and, after reading about the Eight Hour Cream, thought it was time to bring out the big guns. The results were disappointing – after weeks, it looked and felt no better than using my regular balm. And what with the orange colour, unpleasant smell and taste, too-shiny finish and higher price tag, I think I’ll stick to my trusty make-up miracle Vaseline.

One of the major problems I encountered with the Eight Hour Cream was just how sticky it was. Although it claims to be great for cracked and dry skin, which I have aplenty, I found it a hard job keeping it there long enough for it to work its magic (its name comes from a client saying it made her child’s scraped knee all better in just eight hours). Strands of hair would frequently stick to my lips, which would in turn wipe off all the cream onto whatever glasses and bottles I’d drink from. I’d rub the Eight Hour Cream into my dry, peeling hands only to then find most of it rubbing off onto my bathroom’s doorknob when I left! Some make-up artists recommend using it as a shiny highlighter for cheeks – surely only possible in the controlled conditions of a photo-shoot and with a Croydon facelift hairdo!

On the places that haven’t come into close contact with surfaces, I can see some of the hype for 8 Hour. I had an itchy, flaking elbow that I dosed up with 8 Hour before I went to bed and by the next morning, it was nearly all better – so I guess that client from decades ago wasn’t just a figment of a PR’s imagination.

Overall, Elizabeth Arden’s Eight Hour Cream fell short of expectations. I’ll be sticking to Vaseline, which I find better in nearly every aspect (texture, colour, taste, results, variety of uses), and keep 8 Hour for more serious skin complaints on anywhere other than my face. Even though I’m in no rush to buy again, one of the pros of the cream is that one tube does seem to last ages so it looks like it will be a bathroom cabinet staple for a while to come!

I ♥ Benefit – We Are 5 gift set

A shopaholic and her money are never more quickly parted than when the words ‘limited edition’ and ‘exclusive’ appear in press releases. So kudos to Benefit for managing to score on both fronts with their latest gift set, celebrating their fifth birthday of being sold in the fragrant harbour.

Limited to 3000 sets, exclusive to Hong Kong only, the We Are Five gift set includes five Benefit favourites, specially-packaged to look like the HK skyline. Adorable, cute, classy – and a bit of a steal too, retailing for $990 (the retail value of the products bought individually is $1430).

The products are all tried-and-tested bestsellers, with only the inclusion of Woman Seeking Toner raising a few perfectly-arched eyebrows. I thought we’d long ago agreed toners were obsolete in our beauty routines… oh well, maybe it’s a Hong Kong thing. The other products are That Girl Primer, which I have been desperate to switch to after a long and not entirely happy experience with Make Up Forever’s HD seaweed green primer; PosieTint, the petal-pink version of cult cheek-and-lip stain Benetint; the ever-popular Dandelion Blusher and Dr. Feelgood, a sort-of magic balm that I’ve been looking for an excuse to afford ever since a Benefit beautician showed me its many virtues a few years back.

The fact that these cosmetics have been put in pretty limited-edition packaging in a pretty limited-edition box has given rise to a new dilemma that I usually only face with my Collector Edition Barbies – to de-box or not to de-box? Of course, I must de-box (no, I was never contemplating just putting it on a shelf and stroking it lovingly on occasion) but it is killing me a little on the inside. Expect full reviews at a later date!

Don’t wake me up…

If there’s one thing guaranteed to make me feel like a 12 year-old again, it’s reminiscing over old-but-not-ancient tv shows. Especially the ones that aren’t actually the agreed ‘classics’ but the sort of not technically great but still holds a place in your heart stuff, that has the power to make one generation alone go goo-goo eyed yet cause blank stares and bemusement to everyone outside this narrow range.

So how are these pictures of the Saved By The Bell cast all grown-up for making you feel old? Take that, High School Musical, this will you be in 20 years!

In the UK, this used air at 9.25am on Channel 4. Oh, the days when I used to wake up at 9.25am through my own volition.

Zack Morris was my best friend Tom’s first gay crush. I wanted to be Kelly Kapowski but was probably always more of a Jessie Spano (sans the addiction to ‘I’m so excited! I’m so excited! I’m so…. scared’ caffeine pills). My Saved By The Bell tee from TruffleShuffle.com is the most commented-upon item in my wardrobe, eliciting knowing smiles and thumbs-up from random passers-by every time that I wear it (well, at least I hope that’s why they were smiling).

The cast look amazing and it makes my heart go all warm and fuzzy to see them back together again (this behind-the-scenes video is cute too). Of course, you’ll notice Screech is missing. In-between making porn, becoming a chess master and desperately flogging t-shirts on his website, I guess he was too busy. Or he just wasn’t pretty enough for this shoot. Or, given the number of years he clocked up with the SBTB franchise, he’s STILL working for Mr Belding.

Jimmy Fallon unsuccessfully tried to reunite the cast on his show (Screech and Tiffani ‘Kelly’ Thiessen didn’t sign up, although Thiessen released an odd viral about how busy she was which suggested that she was game), so I guess this photo shoot might be the closest we get. Although Mario Lopez (ah… those dimples are still cute as ever) does tantalisingly hint we might get a future reunion show later. Fallon’s attempts did result in this rather awesome interview with Zack Morris. He is STILL the coolest kid in school.

UPDATE: Come 2014, he finally managed to reunite four of the Bayside gang… I challenge you not to grin your way through this! And how do they all look EXACTLY THE SAME? Was there something magic in the water fountains at The Max?!

As a consolation present, Fallon instead reunited the California Dreams cast. HELL YEAH. In the UK, this would often air immediately after Saved By The Bell and was basically the same, except this lot were in a band (the ‘song an episode’ premise features in another childhood favourite obsession, Jem & The Holograms). It came from SBTB’s genius producer, Peter Engel who, once he’d found a successful formula, sure as hell stuck to it (Hang Time, Malibu CA, City Guys) – young attractive cast, cheesy jokes, “issues” episodes and a cavalier attitude to cast changes to keep the dead horse flogged for as long as humanely possible.

Again, the cast look sickeningly-good (possible because they’ve not exactly been exhausting themselves with work ever since) apart from the Latino one, who wore a leather jacket back in the day signalling his ‘bad boy’ character, and is now nearly unrecognisable (hang on, isn’t he Weevil in later seasons of Veronica Mars?!). Sly, the slightly rat-faced Tom Cruise-alike (couldn’t sing so became the band’s sleazy manager and of course, best character) even whips out the six-pack – oh, the desperation of out-of-work actors (not that I’m complaining).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8a7Xp7hS2o

But the real fangirl squeal is reserved for when the cast actually sing the theme tune (at 9.30 in the vid). Yes, these folks sung and played their instruments for real (although the badly-mimed, leotard frenzy that was the girls’ band in SBTB still remains a guilty pleasure that pops up way more often on my iPod than I’m ever going to admit).

I’m going to repeat – they sing the theme tune. Live. The warm fuzzy feeling produced by the SBTB photos just multiplied tenfold into a shivery happy glow. It’s actually a brilliant mellow theme song, which transports you instantly to laidback lounging on the beach. Amazing harmonies, evocative instrumentation, fantastic vocals (possibly in the days before Autotune existed). It’s actual theme song GOLD. In fact, let’s watch in all its full-length 90s glory – just wait for that guitar solo.

And it made me feel like a carefree child again for a few precious hours. These dreams *are* good.

Pictures: People Magazine

Is the juice worth the tweeze?

How cute are these novelty tweezers?!

These are exactly the sort of pretty little things that I love – and exactly the kind of pretty little things HK offers by the bucket-load!

Only HKD$10 from Ella (a great shop for spending hundreds of bucks on several other pretty cute things too – don’t say you weren’t warned).

Great Forgotten Pop Songs: The Pipettes – Pull Shapes

If Pull Shapes has been released in the 60s, it would now be a Radio 2 staple, feature on countless crappy compilation albums and be one of those tunes that everyone inexplicably comes out the womb knowing. Instead, it had the misfortune to be released in 2006 and miserably limped in at number 26 on the charts. There are fewer greater injustices in pop because Pull Shapes is glorious, radiant life-affirming stuff. Goodness pours out of its every chord.

The Pipettes were a trio that specialised in homages to 60s’ girl group pop with their Phil Spector-created ‘wall of sound’. To hammer home this fact, they wore polka-dot dresses and did cute synchronised hand movements dances, which often made their schtick veer more closely to end-of-the-pier pastiche than the majesty of their tunes really needed them to. They’ve also gone enough line-up changes to cement their place in girl group history (as a girl group trio, they’ve now enjoyed the services of seven members and that’s not including the comings and goings of their backing band, The Casettes). I once wrote a brief history of the band and ended it with ‘no-one got divorced, beheaded or died’ which just about sums up the absurdity of the revolving doors of The Pipettes, as they’re now a duet of sisters with no 60s’ influences in sight (or should that be sound?!) yet Pull Shapes captures the group at their, possibly never to be attained again, peak.

From the opening thirty-five seconds of instrumental intro, you just know it’s going to be divine. Kicking off with a drum-roll (as all good things often do), sound upon sound is layered until a joyous trilling section marks the arrival of voices. The lyrics are inconsequential – simple, almost trivial chatter about liking disco, hearing drums and dancing (duh…) – but it’s all in the delivery. Whilst the current line-up may have the better harmonies, they’re not a patch on the combination of Gwenno (the only one still remaining), Rosay and RiotBecki for charisma. The verses are shouted with pure tangible joy and when the harmonies do kick in on the delightful chorus mixed with heady backing instrumentation, it’s just too delicious for words. Indeed, it can only be expressed through dance – good job they’re imploring you to ‘pull shapes’ (love it – so British) as you’ll no doubt find yourself busting out a little boogie, even in the full glare of public transport.

There’s then the appetite-whetting genius of the stop-start ‘What do you when the music stops?’ section and the always-a-winner audience interaction of ‘Clap your hands if you want some more!’ before the thing sprints to an ending that comes far too soon. There’s this giddy whirling noise that comes to the foreground on the penultimate chorus that is the exact sonic expression of how I feel when I hear Pull Shapes – dizzy with joy and high on life. And even though I said it’s over far too soon, it adheres to the Eurovision rule of the perfect 3 minutes; all the fat’s been trimmed, it ends with a bang rather than a fade-out and you find your finger twitching towards the ‘repeat’ button practically before it’s over.

Its retro stylings mean that it doesn’t get dated, instead merely cementing its position as a forgotten classic. After hearing it, you might (like my boyfriend) find yourself prone to yelling ‘Pull Shapes!’ at random moments. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Truly glorious life-affirming stuff. I’ll meet you on the dancefloor.

UK chart peak: 26
Key lyric: ‘I just wanna move, I don’t care what the song’s about!’
Get more: The Pipettes – ABC, Your Kisses Are Wasted On Me, Judy

Read my interview with The Pipettes here