Monthly Archives: March 2011

OPI Sparkle-licious nail polish review

Remember in my first nail varnish reviews, how I revealed my disdain for glittery nail polishes? Well, it’s only taken six months or so, but this contempt has been well and truly left in dust – and what better way to celebrate than with one of the sparkliest, shiniest, glitteriest polishes on the block, OPI Sparkle-licious.

OPI are renowned for their fun names yet Sparkle-licious could not be any more accurate unless it involved copious amounts of exclamation marks. It’s a veritable Mardi-Gras on the nails – large showy particles of gold, pink, blue and purple all joining together for a riot right on your fingertips.

One of my previous objections to glitter polishes was that they tend to look like a pre-schooler ran riot in the art cupboard, with pots of glitter just dumped haphazardly on the nails. And Sparkle-licious looks pretty much exactly like that – the mixed-up multi-coloured bags of glitter you’re left with once kindergarten kids have got a bit too enthusiastic with your craft supplies. Although the bottle makes it look like purple might be the predominant colour, once it’s on the nails it seems to burst into a brighter golden glow. So whether you love it or loathe it, this look is a difficult one to ignore!

If only getting this intense sparkle showdown was as easy as letting a child run amok with some PVA glue and a wild imagination. Unlike another recent OPI glitter polish, Teenage Dream, which had a coloured base, the particles in Sparkle-licious are suspended in a clear liquid, so I had to go four coats to get full coverage. I also found Sparkle-licious’ formula to be gloopy and very runny, meaning (in true kindergarten style) that I got glitter absolutely everywhere.

However, it didn’t have the overly gritty feeling of glitter polishes of yore, even if it’s obviously not an entirely smooth surface without a top coat. And, despite the four coats, it generally didn’t feel too thick or heavy either. The downside of this pure glitter hit that required plentiful coats? Brittle nail polish that chipped off in chunks sooner rather than later.

Another memory of glitter polishes that did unfortunately prove correct – they’re hell to remove. Don’t even bother trying a non-acetone remover with Sparkle-licious, as it merely laughs in its face and stays sparkling steadfastly into the night. The best way of putting out the party on your nails is to employ the foil method, which entails wrapping nail polish remover-soaked cotton wool around the nail, then wrapping foil around the whole fingertip and leaving it a few air-starved minutes to do its work. This removes the glitter in a fuss-free fashion but thanks to the acetone – the magic ingredient that does most of the removing but certainly doesn’t go about it quietly – your fingers will probably sting, tingle and remain highly sensitive for a while afterwards (and be prepared for a lot of wincing if you have any cuts!).

Sparkle-licious is an ostentatious glamorous glitterbomb that’s not for the faint-hearted or vanilla-loving amongst us. I also tried it as a top coat over The Show Must Go On  and it didn’t seem too happy to share the spotlight – frankly, I found it a bit too busy and overpowering to work with just one colour as its backing singer (shown below, although I think it looks better in the picture than it did in real life!).

Whether you look at Sparkle-licious and think ‘Too Much!’ or ‘Not Enough!’ rather depends on your feelings about glitter as a whole; honestly, for me, it was just too much for wearing round the house doing nothing more exciting than the washing-up. This baby packs more bling than the brightest Bollywood musical and more glitter than the wardrobe department for a beauty pageant. Be prepared for the term Sparkle-licious to sound like an understatement!

Looks good with: parties, more bling, your inner diva
Drying time: 3-5mins
Coats required: 3-4
Chips: 2 days

OPI Sparkle-icious nail polish, Winter 2010 Burlesque Collection, $132, selected Mannings

Hong Kong Flower Show 2011: It’s all coming up roses (and tulips… and orchids…)

Forget the Botanical Gardens. Forget the overpriced, increasingly tat-filled Chinese New Year Flower Market. Forget the Chelsea Flower Show. Because for technicolour horticultural goodness, the Hong Kong Flower Show 2011 beats them all. (Well, it beats watching Chelsea on television anyhow).

The Hong Kong Flower Show is apparently an annual event held in Victoria Park that my auntie only piped up about this year, my third in HK. Thanks a lot! Oh well, at least she piped up eventually, as this was a sight I’m definitely glad I didn’t miss out on.

I love flowers – I love them even more when I don’t have to put in the hard work of maintaining them – so the Flower Show was absolutely perfect for those who want to feast on the visual delights of plants in all colours, shapes and sizes without getting your green fingers dirty! As someone who quite often misses her garden in the UK, this happily quelled any longings in some serious style!

For just $14 entry, you can wander around the countless show gardens, exhibits, displays and gardening stalls that take over the entire grounds to your heart’s content. It’s also free for the over 60s on weekdays; my auntie wasn’t sure whether she should be happy she saved money or upset that she looked old enough for no-one to check her ID!

This year’s theme was Symphony of Spring Flowers, hence all the floral pianos, harps and music notes you see scattered around – a bit cheesy in places, but generally too beautiful and immaculately-executed for you to care. There were also special displays by some of HK’s botanical societies (the orchid ones are always amazing enough to warrant a gander) whilst there were also some more modern, edgy and striking displays to cut through the cutesiness of the giant instrument-playing animals (oh who am I kidding, they were my favourite part!).

I also loved the numerous stalls selling plants and gardening supplies; if you can get past the crowds who mill around treating these as further photo opportunities, there are some really reasonable deals to be had on stuff that can be more difficult to unearth in HK. I bought a fuchsia for $30 and two violas for $10 each (and would have bought many more if I didn’t have to think about carrying it all home), whilst many orchids were only around $100. Basically, screw you CNY Flower Market, I’ll never be buying your overpriced tat again!

Anyway, enough of my rambling, I think the photos are gorgeous enough to speak for themselves. So fire up your monitor, click for enlargements so huge you can practically smell them and enjoy!

My favourite photo, taken at one of the show displays

How cute are the baby chicks?!

Ocean Park Garden

Love the creativity of these two, designed to look like music staves

Some of the more contemporary displays

Macau Garden

I think these ghostly pianos look like they were made from a skeleton’s bones!

Just can’t resist me some orchids!

Some of the more structural displays – note the number of OAPS enjoying a sit-down in the branch dome!

Mini gardens! Love the hydrangea tree and the cute little chicks and bunnies made from flowers!

After all that, I think we need a rest…

Hong Kong Flower Show 2011, Victoria Park, Causeway Bay, 11-20 March 2011. $14 entry fee, free for over-60s on weekdays ($7 on weekends). See their website for further details.


Flakies FTW – a trip to the vats of Sasa

Back when I first started writing nail varnish reviews, I promised myself that I would never start using the polish jargon so beloved by many beauty blogs. Holographic this, duochrome that… and what’s the difference between a crème and a jelly anyway? After all, it’s nail polish, not quantum physics! I describe it as I see it, and if that means I’m calling something a glitter when it’s a foil or a shimmer when it’s a glass fleck then so be it!

However, one mystery elixir continued to tantalise me – the flakie. Flakies, or as I know them ‘amazing shreds of rainbow awesomeness’, are probably one of the most lusted-after types of polishes in the blogosphere. Unfortunately, I couldn’t locate many of polishes that blogs frequently mentioned (Gosh Rainbow, Sally Hansen Hidden Treasure, Andrea Fulerton Gemstone, Nubar 2010) in Hong Kong, whilst although the brand most famous for them (Nfu-Oh) boasts Ebay sellers seemingly exclusively from HK, I’ve so far had more luck finding The Holy Grail than their lacquers in a real-life shop here. I began to doubt that I knew what flakies really looked like – basically, they’re confetti-esque shreds of iridescence, with rainbow reflections similar to the flashes in an opal gemstone; had I been passing by flakies all the while, mistakenly thinking they were mere glitters or shimmers?

But thankfully, my quest for flakies – and as you know, my make-up quests can get a bit obsessive – has a vaguely happy ending! All thanks to Sasatinnie, the own-brand sold by cosmetics behemoth Sasa.

My first post about nail polish already told you the state of Sasa – namely, huge tubs of bottles, piled high and haphazardly with little rhyme or reason (the picture below is from Bonjour but the effect is the same!). Consequently, I took refuge in the calm of Cher2, with its well-ordered selection of premium brands, and have been a bit snobby about the drugstore stuff ever since. Yet my quest for flakies meant I (and my reluctant boyfriend, who received a crash course on what to look for prior to the search) finally dove fist-first into a Sasa vat… and came up trumps!

For just $24 a bottle (or $40 for two), these three flakie polishes come from Sasatinnie’s Super Dolly Fantasy Quick Dry Collection. They weren’t quite what I was looking for, as they all have coloured bases rather than clear ones so I can’t layer them over just any colour to get the full flakie effect, but they’ll definitely do for now. Unlike many of the big brands, they’re probably not ‘3 Free’ (see here for details of what chemical nasties are probably lurking under that awesome flakie finish, especially if the more pungent-than-usual smell is anything to go by) but I was actually surprised with how well these applied – despite seeming pretty thin and watery, they all became opaque in a standard two to three coats and stayed chip-free for a positive aeon.

I’ll be treating each polish to their own review fairly soon but suffice to say, I can’t get enough of these amazing shreds of rainbow awesomeness. So if anyone has any tips for getting my mitts on more flakie fabulousness in Hong Kong, do let me know in the comments below. In the meantime, my lesson has been learnt – no more Sasa snobbiness! And I’ll be the one jumping headlong into the tub of nail varnish on your next visit.

[Incidentally, if you do want to swot up on nail varnish jargon, check out Lacquerized’s fantastic post here].

Life Café restaurant review – the perfect place to veg out

UPDATE: Life Café is now closed.

Having just had another one of my increasingly-frequent 1 AM bacon fry-ups, I feel the need to make it up to my cholesterol-addled arteries. So here’s a write-up on what may be the healthiest place I’ve ever eaten at – Life Café Organic Restaurant & Bar.

Given that one of my childhood nicknames was ‘Red Beef Girl’, you can probably work out that a vegetarian and vegan joint would not be my first port of call. However, one of my friends (Ka Ming, known to me as Bob or Yeh Yeh for reasons too long to detail!) has recently converted, hence how I found myself chowing down on a meat-free meal at Life.  And, far from being the joyless experience I might have imagined, it was actually very lovely indeed.

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OPI The Show Must Go On! nail polish review

I seem to have been on a bit of a roll with OPI lately – my recent-reviewed Not Like The Movies, Miami Beet and most of all, Parlez-Vous OPI, now rank as some of my favourite polishes period. So let’s usher in another OPI instant classic – The Show Must Go On!

I’ve read lots of posts comparing The Show Must Go On to Mac’s Bad Fairy from its Disney-themed Venomous Villains collection, a magical glittering red-orange-pink concoction in everyone’s photos yet, from when I tried it at a Mac counter, a streaky gritty hellish mess to apply. Whilst The Show Must Go On and Bad Fairy are certainly not identical judging from the pictures, by my reckoning, The Show Must Go On is a simply beautiful colour in its own right.

Not that OPI would have you know. Never have I seen bottle pictures more inaccurate. Google Image this baby and you’ll more than likely see a bright but boring fuchsia staring back at you. The bottle photo at the top of this post is slightly more accurate but still doesn’t nearly capture the depth and brightness of colour, nor the brilliance of its foil-like sparkle.

The Show Must Go On is primarily a metallic pink-based red, with a gorgeous shimmer that seems to come bursting from within the polish itself. It has a fantastically clean and bright finish, jumping straight off your fingers to instantly work its way into any nail polish lovers’ heart. But what makes this polish truly incredible are the subtle shifts in colour that flash at you throughout the day. Red, scarlet, coral, pink, copper, orange, gold – practically every colour from the warm end of the spectrum is there, winking at you like you’re sharing a particularly juicy secret. Needless to say, I couldn’t capture it in photographs, though I’ve tried to compensate with quantity over quality for the sake of this review (though I urge you to click and check them out close up)!

I was also quite impressed with the formula, despite a thin first coat that gave me bald patches all over. Somehow, it worked out its problems by the second coat to give me a truly flawless finish, as clean bright and shiny as a child all smartened up for her first day of school. Sadly, it did the trademark OPI thing of chipping slightly by the third day of wear, but I find their polishes self-levelling enough to fix relatively easily.

This is definitely one of my favourite polishes so far. It’s slightly reminiscent of Zoya’s Gloria, except warmer-toned, multi-coloured and with a more low-key approach to glitter (so not that similar at all then!). Whilst The Show Must Go On definitely boasts a certain shimmer, it doesn’t feel like an additional ingredient, more that it was an inseparable part of the polish all along. It’s festive without being singularly so and unusual enough to distinguish it from the stocking-load of other red foils out there.

Like a flickering flame of the most entrancing candle you’ve ever seen – we’d all be moths if flames were this gorgeous! – The Show Must Go On is a must-see. Get your tickets now!

Looks good with: your inner diva
Drying time: 5-7 mins
Coats required: 2
Chips: 3 days

OPI The Show Must Go On nail polish, Winter 2010 Burlesque Collection, $168 for pack of four Mini Teasers, selected Mannings

OPI Teenage Dream nail polish review

My rant about the anticlimactic OPI Katy Perry collection over (see here for the colours that should have been), it’s time to deliver a nail polish review proper. Namely, OPI’s Teenage Dream.

Not Like The Movies, a shimmering silver chameleon is definitely the star of the collection (alas, definitely not the star of the album itself!) but from other bloggers’ photos, I thought that Teenage Dream might give it a good run for its money. A dreamy glittering pale pink, it captures the rose-tinted romance from the song itself with oh-so-pretty results.

Too pretty, in fact. The near-translucent peachy pink base of the polish is such a girlie colour to start off with that once you start tipping in sparkly silver micro-glitter, never mind the further dose of twinkle supplied by a scattering of larger round iridescent pieces, that it begins to verge on children’s party territory. Think Hello Kitty, unicorns and the girls clothing department in Mothercare and you’re pretty much there.

In Teenage Dream’s favour though is that, for the many lovers of glitter polishes out there, this is definitely one of the best formulas around. Usually, coloured bases of glitters are so sheer that by the time you’ve layered it to any semblance of opacity, your nail is almost as thick as the Yellow Pages. Not so with Teenage Dream. I was amazed when the pink became perfectly lovely in two – yes, TWO – coats. That’s opaque enough to ensure no Visible Nail Line (i.e. being able to distinguish the white tips of your natural nails), yet not so opaque that the delicate wistful qualities of this unusual pale pink are completely lost.

Secondly, the amount of glitter has been calculated to professor-like levels of precision. It’s easy for glitter to be either so sparse that you once again end up with more layers than a wedding cake or so dense that your nails look more bling-heavy than J.Lo’s jewellery box but Teenage Dream’s clever mix of a wash of peachy silver micro-glitter with the occasional bigger rainbow-reflecting piece floating through makes for a lovely multi-dimensional effect that’s both dazzling yet still reasonably subtle. As subtle as a glitter polish can be, that is.

Like most glitters, it’s anything but a dream to remove, but I expect you all knew that already. And whilst I was impressed by the formula, finish and staying power of Teenage Dream, it’s just not the colour for me (I also have very pale skin, meaning these pale pinks tend to blend in with my fingers!). My eight year-old self, however, would have been all over this like it was the latest princess Barbie. So if you have a pink-loving eight year old crying to get out or simply can’t get enough of glitters, Teenage Dream might just be your year-long Valentine.

Looks good with: sugar, spice and all things nice
Drying time: < 3 mins
Coats required: 2
Chips: +5 days

Read my reviews of the rest of the OPI Katy Perry Collection:
     The One That Got Away
     Not Like The Movies

OPI Teenage Dream nail polish, Spring 2011 Katy Perry Collection, $168 for pack of four minis, selected Mannings

Zoya Caitlin nail polish review

So how exactly do you follow a best-selling winter nail polish that got picked up by the likes of Vogue, Italian Elle and Daily Candy? Well, turn the shade down one notch and hey presto, you get Zoya’s Caitlin – a softer, spring-friendly sister shade to last season’s much-loved Kelly.

Caitlin, like China Glaze’s Sea Spray and OPI’s Parlez-Vous OPI, is another colour that made me fall in love at first look – I guess I’m still in thrall to a well-placed touch of grey… except this time it’s not just a blue-grey or a purple-grey but a combination of all three! Caitlin is so unusually pretty, a muted mix of lavender, cornflower blue and dove grey, that’s both perfect for spring yet has enough versatility to work all year round. Whereas Kelly’s slate-grey smokiness had a steely coolness to it, Caitlin is a much warmer softer affair – perfect for kitten-ish angora cardigans and delicate spring blooms – yet both are irresistibly impossibly chic without even trying.

As easy to apply as it is on the eye, Caitlin went on easily in just two coats and the finish was as smooth and creamy as Zoya’s consistently high standards have led me to expect. Just to re-iterate, Zoya’s brush size is my favourite out of the four main brands Cher2 stocks (OPI, Essie and China Glaze) and I continue to find it the easiest to grip, use and get good coverage with.

Although it might not show much imagination just to dilute your winter bestseller for spring, Caitlin is lovely enough to justify it. I’d say it’s low-key enough for work yet with enough hues to keep things interesting, whilst the blend of purple blue and grey is something a little bit different than the usual assault of spring pastels. Caitlin somehow turns cloudy into a colour you’re happy to see – a skill most weathermen would kill for, let alone a humble nail polish! Quick, someone tell Michael Fish!

Looks good with: most outfits, soft shades, spring meadows,
Drying time: 3-5 mins
Coats required: 2
Chips: 3-5 days

Zoya Caitlin nail polish, Spring 2011 Intimate Collection, $80, Cher2

OPI Parlez-Vous OPI nail polish review

My last nail polish post saw me declaring China Glaze’s Sea Spray as the perfect grey-blue. Well, strike me down if I’ve not just found the perfect grey-purple too. Step (or should that be nonchalantly stroll) forward OPI’s Parlez-Vous OPI.

As part of Fall 2008’s France Collection, it’s an oldie but a goodie, but one that feels especially current since the fashion world went gaga for grunged-out grey hybrids all last year, thanks to Chanel’s Particuliere (see OPI’s Over The Taupe and Zoya’s Kelly for further details). Parlez-Vous OPI is pretty much the most grey a purple can go whilst still remaining obviously and very much purple – which, for me, makes it the loveliest ‘grurple’ I’ve come across so far.

As a result, it’s a muddied muddled lavender but one that feels soft and lush as opposed to resembling the dregs of a dirty puddle. I’m pretty certain I used to own a cashmere jumper this colour, which of course, makes Parlez-Vous OPI an instant winner.

This was also one of the best formulas of OPI I’ve used so far – creamily consistent and opaque in two easy coats. For once, I didn’t find their trademark fat brush too cumbersome (whether this older brush was indeed slightly different or I’ve just got used to it remains to be seen!) and, clearly on a roll from their other star performer Miami Beet, it dried relatively quickly and didn’t chip too easily either.

But back to the colour, which is too insouciantly dreamy not to write more about. As befits a member of the France Collection, there is something quietly chic about Parlez-Vous OPI and it’s one of those perennially flattering shades that seems to go with just about everything and work for just about every situation. My purple obsession has been well documented but this may just be my favourite yet.

Pretty but edgy, soft but grown-up, perfectly purple and yet so much more… Parlez-Vous OPI will be my ‘It Colour’ for several seasons to come!

Looks good with: everything (but I may be biased)
Drying time: 3 mins
Coats required: 2
Chips: +5 days

OPI Parlez-Vous OPI? nail polish, Fall 2008 France Collection, $90, Cher2

China Glaze Sea Spray nail polish review

china-glaze-sea-spray

Over a week without a nail polish blog – what’s going on?! So here’s China Glaze’s Sea Spray to get us back into the swing of things – and how!

Of all the new spring collections, China Glaze’s Anchors Away was the one I was most excited about and of all the new nail polish colours, Sea Spray was the one I absolutely had to have. Of course, Treg’s Luck struck again, meaning Sea Spray was the only colour missing from the collection when it first arrived in Cher2 (yes, I was there the first day…), meaning I *had* to stake out both branches until it arrived. Thankfully, it was all I dreamed of… and more.

The perfect shade of dusty blue has been a long-time Macguffin of mine so I was overjoyed to find it encapsulated so wondrously in Sea Spray. And since it’s the absolute ultimate blend between a light powdery blue and a pale dove grey, no other brand need bother me with dusty blues again. I’ve found my lobster (sorry non-Friends watchers)!

Despite a streaky first coat, you soon end up with a meltingly creamy finish, with just the merest hint of a pearlescent shimmer bubbling under there too. What’s more, this stuff goes the distance, staying chip-free in style for well over a week.

Since it hung around so long in immaculate fashion, I decided to see how it might look with some sparkly top coats. I gave it one coat of White Cap (a white-based gold glitter pearly shimmer from the same Anchors Away collection) and Last Friday Night (a supposedly blue but actually very sheer chunkier glitter from OPI’s Katy Perry line) and, although the greyness is diluted a little, the results were dazzling! A cross between a snow globe and the Blue Fairy from Pinocchio, I think this looks like magic dust got sprinkled on my fingers (click for a close-up of its frosty goodness!). Way to make me fall in love with Sea Spray all over again!

A slightly more delicate duck-egg blue, Sea Spray completely makes good on its evocative name. I just think it’s too pretty for words – the kind of colour subtle enough for day-to-day wear yet flattering enough to still garner plenty of compliments. It’s fresh enough to make it an obvious spring choice, yet grey enough to make it look charming all year round. It’s soft, it’s lovely and it’s mine, all mine!!! Can you guess that I like it?!

Looks good with: muted pastels, sparkly top coats, pretty things
Drying time: 5-7 mins
Coats required: 2-3
Chips: +7 days

China Glaze Sea Spray nail polish, Spring 2011 Anchors Away Collection, $60, Cher2

Furious Love: Elizabeth Taylor, Richard Burton & The Marriage of the Century book review

For anyone that reckons film stars are “just like us”, Furious Love provides definitive proof that that is just not so. Chronicling the notorious love affair between Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton (the authors, Sam Kashner and Nancy Schoenberger, claim they were inspired to write the book after a young theatre graduate, on hearing of the Burton-Taylor relationship, exclaimed he had no idea that Elizabeth Taylor had been married to Tim Burton), it leaves you in no doubt that, were they around today, Liz n’ Dick would never be off the front pages of Heat magazine.

The book’s title, as the narrative very quickly establishes, could not be more apt – theirs was a love that could not have burned more furiously if it tried. Events kick off on the set of 1961’s sprawling epic Cleopatra, where the already-married actors ignited their passionate affair, with outrageous, flamboyant and basically insane anecdotes peppering every page. The on-screen kiss that got longer with every take, until the director was reduced to finally shouting ‘Does it interest you that it is time for lunch?’ The love letter Burton writes to Taylor describing ‘your divine little money-box… your baby bottom and the half-hostile look in your eyes when you’re deep in rut with your little Welsh stallion’. Taylor’s then husband, Eddie Fisher, telephoning their villa only to be answered by Burton who, when asked what he was doing there, proclaimed ‘What do you think I’m doing? I’m fucking your wife!’ How Burton didn’t believe Elizabeth’s claims that she would kill herself for him, prompting her to stuff herself with sleeping pills to his face and ending up in hospital having her stomach pumped. Taylor waking up one night to find Eddie Fisher pointing a gun at her head saying, ‘Don’t worry. I’m not going to kill you. You’re too beautiful’.

This is all just the first chapter.

This tumultuous account of ‘Le Scandale’ (which had them denounced by the Vatican no less) gets things off to such a rollickingly compulsive start that the rest of Furious Love barely has time to catch its breath in response. The couple’s rise and fall follows in a mostly chronological order, taking in their various films together and apart, their travels around the globe, the gross extravagance, their omnipresence in the press (probably responsible for the state of celebrity-culture as we know it), their alcohol-fuelled fights and sweary trade of insults, their energetic love-making and unquenchable lust for each other, Burton’s declining heath, Taylor’s declining career, their break-up, re-marriage and re-break-up and finally Burton’s death. Despite the fact that Taylor is still alive some thirty years on, the book pretty much peters to an end from there – it is a history of their relationship together and simply not interested in whatever they may have done apart.

The major boon for Kashner & Schoenberger is that Furious Love was written with Taylor’s approval, allowing them exclusive access to her previously-unseen love letters from Burton (hence the ‘divine little money-box’ earlier). As a result, the book is a little too in awe of Elizabeth – not a chapter passes where we aren’t reminded of her flawless beauty, how she was even more stunning without make-up and most importantly, that she was never ever ever fat, whatever anyone else may (frequently) say. It’s a shame, then, that the few pictures within fail to properly convey Taylor’s beauty and especially annoying when the authors make protracted reference to specific photos, only for them never to appear. Similarly, the narrative falls short of criticising Taylor for continuing to drink when Burton was trying to remain sober (an obvious contributing factor in his repeatedly failing to do so) and spends too long justifying her love for jewels (apparently she’s a custodian of their beauty rather than their owner although she expected a ‘present’ from every director she worked under).

A few pics to remind you of how beautiful Taylor really was, including those famous violet eyes!

However, the inclusion of Burton’s letters (though Taylor never seems to write any back) makes up for this. There’s really no need for the authors to bang on too much about his love of language as the vitality, vividness and inventiveness of his writing shines through, evident even in his casual conversation. Able to switch from lyrical eroticism one minute to x-rated banalities the next, here he compares her to a pen:

‘You are heavy like the pen – your ass, your tits… Pendulumed like an infinitely desirable clock… And since we’re talking of pens and you, how [to] watch the ink splurge out of the pen… reach[ing] out from the depth of the divine body. Will you, incidentally, permit me to fuck you this afternoon?’

Don’t worry, it’s not all vaguely pornographic – he’s just as enthralling when signing off with ‘I love you ghastily and terribly and horribly’, fashioning another bizarre nickname for her (Lumps, Twit-Twaddle, Shebes) or scrawling dreamy poetry on the back of her photo (‘She is like the tide, she comes and goes… In my poor and tormented youth, I had always dreamed of this woman. And now, this dream occasionally returns… If you have not met or known her, you have lost much in life’). This was a man who could make probably make drinking a cup of tea sound riveting.

What Kashner & Schoenberger do capture is the uncomfortable disconnect between Liz n’ Dick – their extravagant public persona, laden in jewels and extolling each others virtues on the front pages of magazines – and Elizabeth and Richard, who just wanted to have barbeques in their backyard, drinks in the pub and escape to Wales. As Furious Love progresses, it becomes clear that these two constructs were irreconcilable, even destructive, and that no one was more aware of it than the pair themselves. They are also keen to stress the parallels between art and life, sometimes too tenuously as they exactingly recite portions of scripts to compare the films Taylor and Burton made together with events in their private life. However, it becomes increasingly clear that the movies really were no match for the drama of real-life.

It’s all told in an easy and highly readable manner, yet one that happily stops short of tabloid sensationalism. It’s utterly compulsive stuff as each chapter drips in glorious ridiculous anecdotes that make Brangelina’s clan look like The Brady Bunch. There’s the couple’s yacht, decked out with Picasso paintings and Burton’s thousand-strong library, which served as the ‘world’s most expensive kennel’ to prevent their menagerie of pets having to do quarantine (Taylor had to spend $1000 every 6 months refurbishing the carpets as none were house-trained). There’s room service ordered not just from whole other countries, but whole other continents (sausages and bacon from Fortnum & Masons, since you ask). There’s Elizabeth wondering what one of her Pekingese puppies is chewing on, to discover it was the La Peregrina pearl, given to Mary Tudor in 1554 and acquired for $37000 as a gift from Burton. There’s the couple’s on-set trailer crashing onto the cliffs below to horrified gasps at the blood oozing out of it; turns out it was just the copious amount of tomato juice they had on hand for their daily (morning!) Bloody Marys. There’s Elizabeth making an impromptu appearance on stage during Richard’s rendition of Under Milk Wood to declare ‘I love you’ in Welsh. And all backed by a motley crew of cameos from stars more than worthy of their own biographies – Wallis Simpson, Grace Kelly, Princess Margaret, Aristotle Onassis, Montgomery Clift (and an amazing appearance from Rex Harrison’s wife, who drunkenly masturbates her own dog) – plus an ever-present mob of fans, paparazzi and a coterie of offspring, animals and hangers-on.

Despite clocking in at 400 pages plus and spanning over twenty years, Furious Love tornadoes past at a frantic speed and seems over far too soon; you’ll probably be left panting for breath by the end. Overall, Furious Love may not be the finest, most accurate or best-written tribute to either Taylor or Burton’s lives or careers but what it does entirely capture is the spirit of their mad, bad and dangerous passion. The lasting impression is of a love that was too intense, too tempestuous and too all-consuming for even the most rich, famous and beautiful couple in the world. “Just like us”? I think not… and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Furious Love: Elizabeth Taylor, Richard Burton & The Marriage of the Century by Sam Kashner & Schoenberger, JR Books, 2010