21 Best Singles Of 2006

You’ll be pleased to know that this is the last year of twenty-one best singles. Whether this is because the charts have got less good since 2006 or simply because I’ve learnt to say no to songs knocking on my top eleven’s door, I’m not certain. For what it’s worth, this is probably my favourite singles list of the lot, right down to the ‘nearly but not-quites’, and number two is one of my favourite tracks of all time.

You may notice there is an infringement of my not featuring an artist more than once rule. This is because the particular “artist” in question (and trust me, those quotation marks have never been more deserved!) probably had about as much to do with the songs as I did! Such is the brilliance of the songs on their own that they’d probably make the list if a robot sang them… and I can’t be certain that isn’t the case anyway!

The most noticeable omission that had to be rectified was the absence of Take That. Patience is such an all-time fave (yes, that phrase will be much overused in the next few days) that the only explanation I can find for it not making the list first-time round was that it hadn’t been released when the bulk of the list was being formed (charting in late November/December… yes, I begin thinking about my lists that early!).

So here’s my 21 Best Singles of 2006… and number one has had a whole new lease of life for me since I busted it out on Xbox Kinect’s Dance Central!

1.            Maneater – Nelly Furtado (1)
R.I.P Folksy Furtado, love live Naughty Nelly. Sexy synths, booming basslines and armfuls of attitude make this the best song of the year, in the sluttiest of ways. Everybody look at me, indeed.

2.         Pull Shapes – The Pipettes (26)
Few of you are probably aware that this even exists. Rectify this situation now! A shiny sparkly spangly song brimming over with joyousness, it’s an unforgettable 60s-tinged call to the dancefloor that proves impossible to resist. One of those life-affirming tracks that makes you feel glad to be alive and kicking (preferably in dancing shoes).

3.            Beware Of The Dog – Jamelia (10)
Via the theft of a great 80s riff and the presence of some quite thrilling drum action, Jamelia’s undeservedly unsuccessful single is another of the year’s greatest pop masterpieces. Electrifying punchy.

4.            Patience – Take That (1)
Everyone’s favourite boy band marked their triumphant return as men, with stubble, long coats and everything, with this epic slowie. But Patience is just too good to be dismissed as a mere boy b(l)and ballad; it scales great heights of amazingess with every Barlow top note. Utterly gorgeous.

5.            Nothing In This World – Paris Hilton (55)
If Paris Hilton must make music, let it be this – feel-good fluff that would sound fab no matter who sang it. Gratuitous ‘da da da’s are always a winner. A really great pop record.

6.            Something Kinda Ooooh – Girls Aloud (3)
Surely one of the best song titles of the year, if nothing else? Girls Aloud returned with this riotous rave-up that, in the manner of all the greatest Aloud tunes, sounds like a complete mess before revealing itself to be a beautiful pop revelation.

7.         Rehab – Amy Winehouse (7)
This jangling old-school ditty sounded like Motown at its best; in reality, it’s a gobby intoxicated banshee from the East End but that just makes Rehab all the more amazing. Possibly the best thing Amy Winehouse has ever done, horns and all; her forty-a-day voice has never sounded better.

8.         Crazy – Gnarls Barkley (1)
The definition of effortless cool.

9.         My Love – Justin Timberlake (2)
SexyBack, with its dirty lyrics and even dirtier beat, might have garnered the headlines but this, in reality, is the better song. A series of swirling strings and the swooping Timberlake falsetto take glorious centre-stage, building up to a series of progressive complex climaxes. An unexpected pleasure.

10.       Rock Steady – All Saints (3)
Pop’s sulkiest madams return with this fresh and breezy slice of reggae-lite. Harmonies par none with the second verse, featuring those underrated Appleton vocals and layers of breathy echoes, proving simply sublime.

11.            Supermassive Black Hole – Muse (4)
Epic rock for the noughties, with this exhilarating roller-coaster of strange noises and strange voices. Best described as Muse by way of the Scissor Sisters, yet with a result aeons better than you’d think that could sound.

12.            Irreplaceable – Beyonce (4)
Girlfriend doesn’t just do fierce! A luscious mid-tempo ballad, enhanced by Beyonce’s dipped in honey, melted chocolate and various other yummy edible things voice.

13.       LDN – Lily Allen (6)
If this lovely ode to London (which did the impossible by making the capital actually seem appealing) did not make you feel summery and happy, I suggest you check for a pulse. Will anyone ever dare rhyme ‘al fresco’ again?

14.       No Tomorrow – Orson (1)
The guiltiest pleasure of the year, courtesy of hat-wearing geriatrics Orson, and the fact it gets right up the noses of so-called ‘real rockers’ just makes it even better. Two minutes fifty four seconds of faux moshing bliss that is bound to have you salivating for more.

15.            Voodoo Child – Rogue Traders (3)
Energetic dance-rock certain to have you throwing demented shapes all over the dancefloor. Izzy off Neighbours demonstrates a rock star snarl of a voice that she sadly never utilised on the show – although we’d like to have seen Dr Karl’s face if she had!

16.       Stars Are Blind – Paris Hilton (5)
A track most aptly described as ‘accidentally brilliant’. Hilton’s drowsy “singing” blends almost impossibly perfectly with a lazy reggae beat stolen almost entirely from UB40’s entire output. A near perfect summer record.

17.       S.O.S. – Rihanna (2)
Mid-way through the year and this heady blend of electro, R n’ B and obligatory 80s sample would have been a shoo-in for record of the year. But then a load of people came and did it better. Oh well.

18.            Checkin’ It Out – Lil’ Chris (3)
‘Ch-ch-ch-checkin’ it out!!!!!’ a nation cried, whilst also attempting to emulate the little one’s command of Crazy Frog like noises. An immense record by the tiniest singer pop has known since Geri Halliwell’s freakish yoga days. Second single, Gettin’ Enough, is also very good too.

19.       Naïve – The Kooks (5)
In the words of a panel member (a panel consisting of two), this song ‘never gets old’. Deceptively simple melodies produce a song with yes, a naïve charm all of its own. The angelic Lily Allen cover is possibly even better.

20.       Red Dress – Sugababes (4)
The fact this was released so long ago that I’d almost forgotten about it is the only reason it’s all the way down here, for this is a truly wicked record. That crescendo of a chorus (or is it the bridge… or the middle 8… that’s the genius of producers Xenomania) is one of my favourite pop moments.

21.       Faster Kill Pussycat – Paul Oakenfold ft. Brittany Murphy (7)
I generally despise dance music, but this chunk of invigorating energising and exhilarating electronica on speed will do very nicely, thanks.

Three nearly but not quites…
I Don’t Feel Like Dancin’ – Scissor Sisters, Move Along – All American Rejects, All Time Love – Will Young

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