Tag Archives: adverts

Pizza Hut pizza: still disgusting

So the shrimp-stuffed crusts of the Tapas Pizza weren’t disgusting enough for you? Well, Pizza Hut HK sees your Tapas Pizza and raises you one Scallop Cheesy Volcano just in time for the festive season.

Oh, that some poor, beautiful scallops had to die in vain to make this monstrosity. It seems Pizza Hut has so little respect for premium ingredients that seeing truffle-sprinkled caviar on their next special wouldn’t come as much of a surprise. And they’d still manage to make it look like a pre-schooler’s art project.

There are little cheese-stuffed balls bubbling out a lava of cheddar and mozzarella (creating the eponymous volcanos), encircling the creation menacingly and preventing the scallops from even thinking about any last-ditch attempts at escape. This is demo-ed in the advert by a lang-mo delicately squeezing said globule. Big bulbous thing oozing out unctuous yellow goo? I’m not thinking volcano… I’m thinking giant pus-filled spot. Gross.

 

Genki Sushi: the gills are alive…!

…Alas, not with the sound of music, but with the sound of human heartbeats.

For those of you that find sushi a difficult concept to stomach in the first place, your feelings will hardly be quelled by this bizarre advert for Genki Sushi that sees your salmon sashimi roll morphing into real live humans.

Obviously, I don’t understand Cantonese, so perhaps the narration provides some light bulb moment as to why we would want to eat sushi that shape-shifts into bemused looking male models.

This ad seems to be on constant rotation on the buses, proving that it isn’t just the still-life posters on public transport out here that have the potential to freak you out (to recap so far we’ve had: hands coming out of eyes, prawns in pizza crusts, children dressed as sperm and a serial killer lurking in your mineral water).

It certainly brings a whole new meaning to the term ‘man-eater’!

Water Kills

Continuing my series of posters that freak me out on the MTR (so far we’ve had hands emerging from eye sockets, prawns stuffed in pizza crusts and kids dressed as sperm purporting to teach us nutritional values), here’s torture-porn specialist Jigsaw suspended in some modestly-named COOL water.

Now I know there’s a promotion for free tickets going on, but do we really think the best way to market healthy refreshing distilled water is to have a serial killer’s head floating around in it? Bring back the children dressed as sperm! All is forgiven!

HK gets nutritional: 1 + 7 = catsuit?

After being terrorised by hands coming out from eye sockets, here’s the latest MTR advert to amuse and bemuse.

It’s to mark the advent of the new food labelling system in HK, which detail nutritional information in categories (much like the ones that have been in the UK for a while).

The snazzy slogan to promote this new law is ‘1+7’. Why not just say 8? Is this HK’s reputation for arithmetic aptitude taking it one step too far?

And why have they decided that the obvious way to help us remember this is to dress seven unsuspecting children and one helpless adult in white body-suits? Are we meant to pick our favourite smiling munchkin and thus remember that she represents sodium? No doubt they’ll soon start producing collectible toys of the whole set a la the perennially popular Happy Meals and sold-out sets at 7-11 and Circle K.

Why are the ‘saturated fat’ and ‘trans fat’ ones looking so happy – has no-one told them that they’re the baddies and should thus be represented with devil horns and forked tail? Couldn’t we at least have some Saturdays-style colour-coding scheme or some seven dwarf-style catchy nicknames to make the whole thing more memorable?

HK government marketing division – you can thank me later.

Edit: Have just figured out what they remind me of – the sperm from Woody Allen’s Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex, But Were Afraid To Ask. I’m fairly sure the HK Government would die if they realised this.

Advert from http://www.nutritionlabel.gov.hk

I’m all ears (and noses… and hands…)


Slightly disturbing series of ads that regularly freaked me out on the MTR many a Monday morning.

Courtesy of Orbis, the charity for the blind and visually impaired. These ads definitely get their point across, albeit in a slightly creepy manner. Or, as the strapline less snappily put it: ‘Sight. It cannot be replaced’. You wouldn’t win The Apprentice with that tag now, would you?

(Pictures from Orbis HK’s Facebook page)

Lane Crawford’s lookin’ good

Take a step back from your monitor to admire this very pretty advertising hoarding/mall takeover from Lane Crawford (HK equivalent of Selfridges) at Pacific Place, Admiralty. It may have been very inspired cover for refurbishment work – certainly beats seeing a load of sweaty workers and sawdust, right?

My first thought was that this is the kind of thing Giselle from Enchanted would mistake for her dressing room and try to clamber on.

Tapas Pizza: Would not tap that

From the sublime to the ridiculous…

A moment please for the sheer gross-ness of this new pizza from Pizza Hut. No words can do justice…

And yes, those are shrimps and squid you see stuffed in the crusts. Balk.