Tag Archives: Nicole Kidman

Red Carpet Rundown: Oscars 2011

The red carpet for the Oscars 2011 has to be one of the most boring in a while. When you’re being outdone for wow factor by almost every dress at the after-party, you know something has gone wrong! And whilst we all love a tasteful neutral (hi Michelle Williams, Annette Benning, Gwyneth Paltrow, Hilary Swank…), you know the look has jumped the shark when even Celine Dion, her of the back-to-front man’s suit and fedora, is working it successfully. With star wattage seeming somewhat underpowered this year, many of my frequent red carpet faves disappointed (Sandra Bullock, Anne Hathaway, Aishwarya Rai) with dresses that were nice, but not nice enough for me to waste all of about twelve words over. Here are the only outfits that stood out, starting with my three favourites (by a long LONG way):

Cate Blanchett in Givenchy Couture – The love it or hate it dress at this year’s Oscars, except I’m yet to actually see anyone declare hate. Why? Because it’s simply too beautiful. The design on the bodice may resemble the back of a very ornate chair, or a very ornate mirror or a very ornate cameo missing the face inside, but it works. Lovely fresh sorbet spring colours, and so very very Cate. Pretty much the only interesting dress so thank God it was a good ‘un.

Mila Kunis in Elie Saab – I’m thinking Mila was toying with us all the way up to awards season, lulling us into expecting she’d be dull and boring before hitting us up with a triple whammy of colourful gorgeous gowns (that or Macaulay Culkin had a black fetish and she’s breaking gloriously free of her monotone shackles). When a dress is this pretty, delicate and flirtatiously feminine, no self-respecting fashionista would put money against it being an Elie Saab. This is just such a beautiful dreamy soft shade of lilac that we don’t often see done on the red carpet, and by looking so damn good in it, Kunis has probably ensured that no-one will dare do it again.

Amy Adams in L’Wren Scott – YES! After a ropey lead-up, like the tortoise, Amy has finally triumphed just in time for the main event. Stunning sparkling midnight blue, a simple shape and a look that couldn’t flatter her more if it came with a greasy handshake and car-salesman patter. All the more surprising given it’s a L’Wren Scott, which tend to look a little dowdy for big occasions.

Hailee Steinfeld in Marchesa – You may have noticed that I’ve steered clear of mentioning Hailee in all my red carpet rundowns so far. This is because, as far as I’m concerned, if a 14 year-old is dressing as she should, then she probably won’t be exciting me too much. Bloggers have been won over by her ‘age-appropriate’ style, and whilst I’m delighted to see a famous teen who doesn’t wander about with her crotch either hanging out or with Swavorski crystal arrows pointing towards it, cute teen style stopped exciting me when I was… well, a not so cute teen. This modified Marchesa is a whole different story. It’s the ultimate princess-ballerina dress for the inner 14 year-old in all of us, right down to the could-be-overkill-but-instead-it’s-cute-and-charming bun and hair band combo. Swoonsome.

Mandy Moore in Monique Lhullier – If you’re read any of my style posts, you may have worked out by now that it takes one simple thing to make me lose all rational thought and start cooing like a teenage girl seeing Robert Pattinson for the first time. That magic ingredient is sparkle and when done right, it should look exactly like this Monique Lhullier gown – pretty, ethereal and like it was hand-crafted by fairies.

Natalie Portman in Rodarte – I’ve not really been loving Natalie’s maternity style thus far but this is easily the best she’s looked yet – and in a last-minute second choice too (thanks Galliano). Graceful flowing lines, a gorgeous rich plum shade and an overall look of radiance. She definitely picked the right time to glow!

Jennifer Lawrence in Calvin Klein – It’s simple, it’s sexy, it’s almost a Baywatch swimsuit. It’s the sort of thing Scarlett Johansson would have worn five years ago… oh hang on, she did! She does just look rather beautiful though.

Scarlett Johansson in Dolce & Gabanna – Speaking of, here she is, in a dress that not many people seem to like but which I feel quite fond of. I get a slight qipao vibe from it and whilst I’m still not sure I want to see anyone’s underwear on display at the Oscars, there are just enough redeeming factors (gorgeous unusual burgundy-magenta colour, effortless up-do, fabulous matching cocktail ring, atypical outfit for her usual 50s siren style) to make me leave the doily jokes in my drawer for another time. Apols.

Halle Berry in Marchesa – I’m just happy that Berry didn’t source her outfit from a sex-shop again. Having discovered that her legs don’t drop off if she covers them, this frothy girlie confection is a style 180 from the vaguely dominatrix gear she’s been sporting of late and it almost falls through the cracks of the sparkly sea of neutrals that have plagued this awards season. Britney’s bodysuit from the Toxic video, it’s saved/slaughtered by looking like the bottom has been dragged through heavenly clouds… or cotton candy. Shame about those clunky peeptoes.

Nicole Kidman in Christian Dior – I’m fairly certain that I hate this dress. But having flicked through so many photos of utter blah, I’m actually overjoyed that Kidman has completely lost control of her sartorial compass. Someone took a napkin folding-course and was so eager to show off his handiwork that he just went to work on her waist – but hey, at least he didn’t do a swan! I don’t know what the orange shoes are about, I don’t know which 14 year-old pimply teen’s hair gel she stole to achieve those sticky fronds of hair but I do know that I’m glad someone’s still taking risks on the biggest red carpet of the year. Even the nice dresses that I’ve singled out here are fundamentally simple shapes made good by striking colours so for being so different in an expanse of yawns, I really can’t hate her.

Jennifer Hudson in Atelier Versace – Everyone else is loving this. No idea why. It’s bright orange, a shade that seems to have tackiness in-built, and that’s even before you make it out of shiny flammable-looking satin, pile on the baubles, had that napkin-folder go nuts on your arse and hoist your boobs up like a second pair of eyes. There is not a single part of this outfit I like.

Reese Witherspoon in Giorgio Armani – This is essentially Julia Roberts Oscar-win dress made boring, with plastic Barbie hair on top. Except Barbie would never be this dull.

Red Carpet Rundown: Screen Actors Guild Awards 2011, Part II

The Nays

Proof that my initial tweet about the 2011 SAG Awards (‘there’s a whole lotta ugly on the red carpet’) still stands. Incidentally, I don’t want to feature her because that’s exactly what she’d want but what the hell was Kim Kardashian doing there? Please remind me what work of hers was nominated for a Screen Actors Guild award??? I thought the SAGs were supposed to be the “serious” awards show. The day when Snooki shows up isn’t as far-off as I’d hoped.

Jennifer Lawrence in Oscar de la Renta – This is inexplicably making lots of people’s best-dressed lists. God knows why. I think this shade of bright pink looks cheap and tacky in general and this gown isn’t doing anything to disprove my opinion. Not cheap and tacky enough? Let’s match it with black! Still not looking as if Jane Norman/Reveal/Hypnotic/* insert tacky local clothes shop of your choice here * turned it down for being too tasteful? Let’s customise those shoulder straps so it looks like a low-rent Herve Leger knock-off! Add on a make-up artist’s first attempt at doing smoky eyes, a Croydon facelift pony-tail and ugly clompy shoes, and you have a look that no doubt cost thousands yet looks as if it was found in New Look’s sales section. If it wasn’t for that slit, I’d be convinced it was lycra.

Julie Bowen in Malandrino – The top half got lost on its way to the Cabaret auditions, the bottom half got lost on its way to a good tailors. Someone give Julie Harry Shum Jr’s number! You could take a swim in those pooling hems! Anything vaguely reminiscent of a jumpsuit makes me think of Tina Fey’s Great Jumpsuit Disaster of 2010, which then makes me want to cry. Diane Keaton, you have a lot to answer for.

Angie Harmon in Monique Lhuillier – Is there any pink fluff left in the world? It looks like Harmon covered herself in superglue then rolled around in the flamingo pens at the zoo. Rather than being overtly ugly or too avant-garde to understand, this just looks deeply silly. I’m happy that she looks so delighted with herself though.

Kate Mara in Herve Leger – What is this?!?! It can’t have started life as a dress. My bets are on coffee filter paper, an accordion or strapping that athletes wear on injured parts of the body. The top part was made during a basket-weaving course, the bottom half is a handy Ikea invention for you to store bottles or shoes in. It was so monstrous that I’ve only just clocked the headband. Ladies, Black Swan has already happened. It’s over, finished, in the can. Stop trying to throw in your last-ditch ballerina auditions, please.

Cara Buono in J. Mendel – What is this?!?! The longer I stare at it, the more I start to see gargoyle-esque faces in the weird tumour mushrooming from Cara’s hip. There is enough material here to make five dresses but, on the grounds of just this one, I’m not sure any would be nice. The whole thing is crumpled, pleated and scrunched to an inch of its life, so much so it’s reminding me of the bit in sanitary towel adverts where they show you how their revolutionary quilting technology makes it hold more water than a camel’s hump. I never want to think of sanitary towels when I see a dress. NEVER.

Christina Hendricks in L’Wren Scott – What is this?!?! Goth’s bath-robe? Ladies smoking jacket? Yet another gown that clearly doesn’t fit her? It makes her look an alien-shade of pale, which in turn makes her hair look a wig-shade of fake and adds stumpy, lumpy and bumpy into the bargain too. And when you’re using words that sound like names for the seven dwarves to describe a dress, you know you’re in trouble.

Nicole Kidman in Nina Ricci – The other day, my boyfriend and I saw Nicole Kidman on a massive billboard advertising watches. ‘She looks baaaaaaaad,’ pronounced the boyfriend (and we’re not cool enough to use ‘bad’ to mean ‘good’). If she’s looking bad even with a SWAT team of stylists, make-up artists, lighting crews and air-brushers, it’s doubtful that she’s ever gonna look truly great on the red carpet again. Given what we’ve seen so far, this isn’t even that offensive, but the inclusion of the busy necklace on top of the already busy neckline is just bizarre. And up-close, it really does look like it was put together using off-cuts from a haberdashery.

Winona Ryder in Alberta Ferretti – If you’re thinking, ‘This looks bridal’, you’d be right. This is bridal. As in, has come from a designer’s bridal collection. I don’t understand why any celebrity would do this to themselves unless they’re so deadly desperate to wear a wedding dress that they decide the red carpet is a decent enough substitute to actually getting hitched (hey, don’t knock it, I’d probably do it if I could). The dress is actually lovely but Winona has been wearing this same finger-in-socket/how did you know I’m hearing Rachel’s coconuts knocking against each other face ever since she started doing promo for Black Swan and it’s just deeply odd. Stop it.

Paz de la Huerta – Cripes, how many parts of her body did Paz dip in chocolate? Tight-fitting brown dress = chocolate body. Strange brown tips to her hair = more chocolate-dipping action. Brown-smeared lips = why’s Willy Wonka not sucked her up a pipe or drowned her in a vat of chocolate yet? Final thought – what’s shinier, the dress or Paz’s face?! Even the leopard-print lining can’t save you now.