Oh to be an actor/musician. Double the awards shows, double the amount of dresses for the likes of me and you to pore over.
Elie Saab (left) – I’m afraid Fergie’s Golden Globes gown is a case of right dress, wrong person. My original line was that this cornflower-blue dreamboat of a dress is the stuff that little girls’ dreams are made of but one of my commenters outdid me by saying it would look better on a bridesmaid. She’s right. It is a gorgeous dress (I especially love the sparkly embellished waist) but I was hoping for a bit more glam-edge from one of pop’s resident loons. Maybe she should have accessorised it with the Crazy Frog BEP goggles. Either way, her monotone raven locks don’t really suit the Disney princess dress either, and nor do her massive basoomas, which are pushing up against the bodice so hard I’m worried they might pop. Now that really would be a walk down the red carpet worth watching.
Zuhair Murad (centre) – Fergie’s much more in her comfort zone at this pre-Grammy event. Instead of trying too hard to be something she’s not with the bridesmaid dress, she excels at displaying everything she’s got – namely a smoking hot body. At music shows, the old rule of either boobs or legs doesn’t hold – the more of both, the better. Fergie Ferg sure is working this silver mini; I’m not sure if the bandage style, robot-silver colour and lace inserts are just the right side of trashy or on the verge of tipping over but this is a definite case of right dress, right person.
Emilio Pucci (right) – I actually think that a slightly longer version of this Grammy’s dress could have worked a treat for the Golden Globes. It’s a smidgen more sophisticated than the Murad, the cobalt blue is striking and the flashy gold detail gives it the necessary touch of glitz. And Fergie’s body is still smoking. Job done. (Did you forget to hire a hairdresser though, Stacey? Why the same hair for all three shows?)
Favourite? – Lop off Fergie’s head and immense cleavage and the Elie Saab is perfect. Just not for her. The Pucci fits her image and attitude far better, without looking tacky. If you do show up at the Oscars, please remember you’re a quarter of one of the world’s biggest bands rather than the girl at the back hoping to catch the bouquet. Thanks.
When we were talking about clotheshorses in our Marion Cotillard article, we meant Diane Kruger. She’s fast becoming better known for looking gorgeous on the red carpet than for any dubious acting talent – but when she does look gorgeous on the red carpet, my does she look gorgeous.
Christian Lacroix (right) – Let’s get Kruger’s miss out the way first. The flowery flounces of this dress are unmistakably Lacroix – but in a bad way. The ruffles over-complicate the neckline and make the shape lumpish, even frumpy (a mean feat when dressing the graceful and svelte Diane). The colour is garish, verging on the putrid and there seems to be some weird sort of tie-die shading going on. Misjudged.
Jason Wu (left) – But maybe it’s a good job Diane’s Golden Globe get-up was so unpleasant because she didn’t half up her game for the SAGs. This may just be the most beautiful dress of all the dresses we feature and Kruger just looks stunning in it. The dress just exudes class (not surprising given the designer is current Michelle Obama favourite, Wu) and with her immaculate make-up (we’re loving the scarlet lips), gorgeous wavy up-do and well-judged accessories, the whole look screams (well, quietly intones) retro Hollywood glamour. And all in that most difficult colour to pull off – mustard yellow. It’s elegant without being boring thanks to the shock of that colour, classy whilst still being sexy thanks to the bare shoulder and flattering lines and overall, just a big W-O-W. How on earth is Kruger going to better this for the Oscars?
Donna Karan (second right) – Diane’s dress for the Critics Choice was surprisingly formal (full-length, slinky, up-do) but works it by making it all look so effortless. The material looks divinely weightless and drapes around Diane’s figure in such an easy, artless way that the gown radiates a relaxed grace. The shimmery off-white/silver colour contributes to this gossamer-light feel more (I almost expect her to float down the red carpet) and Diane’s artfully-dishevelled up-do keeps it low-key. Although it does look a little bit like a negligee.
Herve Leger (second left) – Showing she can work sexy and modern just as naturally as graceful chic, Leger (most famous for his bandage dress, which you’ll recognise from the low-rent copies that litter the skanky, lycra-infested shops Britain is littered with) was the perfect choice for the People’s Choice Awards. The cut gives Diane a figure women would die to have and men would die to molest but she wisely toughens up the look with the black cut-out sandals and matching accessories, whilst the hair is casual sexy rather than all-out sexpot. The overall look is clean, contemporary and cool.
Favourite? – Maybe Diane should just wear the Wu again to The Oscars.
Somewhere along the line, I fell in love with Marion Cotillard. I’m not sure when it happened or how exactly – something to do with that charming Oscar acceptance speech about there being angels in the city or the cute story about her breaking down when she met one of her idols, Kate Winslet. Or maybe it’s just the fashion.
I remember her outfits from 2008, when she was sweeping the boards for her performance as Edith Piaf in La Vie en Rose, freakishly well. One saw her channelling one of those angels she had been banging on about, another a mermaid. They were quirky without being OTT and her fresh-faced Gallic flair saw her just about get-away with them. She became brand ambassador for Dior and has since worked a pretty unique look on the red carpet – classic with a twist whilst remaining youthful and interesting – and unlike some of the other red-carpet clotheshorses we see, she actually has the acting chops to back it up. Her outfits for 2010’s Golden Globes, SAGs and Critics Choice awards are no exception and are probably my favourite set of dresses from all the Red Carpet Rundowns I’ve been bringing you.
Dior (centre) – This being the longest and slinkiest dress of the lot, it will come as no surprise to hear that this was her Golden Globes gown. It’s actually my least favourite of her three looks, but was my favourite Golden Globes dress, if that makes any sense. The awesome Fashion Critic at Red Carpet Fashion Awards highlighted that many had already picked this out as a potential outfit for Marion, meaning she was becoming predictable; on this rare occasion, I’m going to disagree and say that this means Marion has a strong, unique visual identity and character, which is no bad thing. I can’t imagine many actresses managing to pull off the peekaboo black lace garter without falling the wrong side of slutty ‘Allo ‘Allo extra; in Marion’s case, it just looks like gloriously Gallic insouciance. I absolutely adore the deep jade colour and the origami-esque pleats, whilst her quiff adds an extra touch of cool.
Dior (left) – This Critic’s Choice dress is reminiscent of the mermaid dress I mentioned earlier – similar colour scheme and accessories. I really like the lustrous opalescent tones of the dress and they exude an old-school Hollywood glamour that suits Marion well.
Elie Saab (right) – But her SAGs outfit is possibly my favourite. There’s something a little Swan Lake about it, but in a magical way. It’s cute and young whilst still looking grown up and the beautifully-detailed shimmery embellishments prevent it from looking too casual. The elegant up-to was totally the right choice too – it keeps the look clean and adds further to the prima ballerina thing. Just gorgeous.
Favourite? – The most consistently scrumptious of the red carpet dressers without getting boring, the Saab just pips it. Who can resist shimmers AND feathers?!
As one of the comments on my original article at Teentoday.co.uk noted, ‘Julianne Moore looks such a mess, which is a shame because she usually gets it so right’. That comment was only about her Golden Globes outfit (left) as well… imagine what the poster would have said if she’d seen Moore’s almost-equally disastrous Critics Choice dress…
Balenciaga (left) – It took a while for any designer to own up to this… thing… and you can see why. I’m still not convinced it actually is a dress, more a roll of leftover fabric that Moore let one of her kids customise with the draught excluder. The colour is a horrid, little-seen choice for the red carpet – the kind of slate-grey normally reserved for cheap Matalan suits (non-UK readers, substitute cheap clothes store at your own discretion). Shapeless, unflattering and matched in woefulness by the clunky shoes.
Lanvin (right) – Fitting my highly-scientific formula, the less high-profile event (Critics Choice) warrants less length but sadly, no less of a balls-up. Moore usually wears deep jewel tones that make her porcelain skin look flawless yet this bright red succeeds in bringing out the pink in her complexion, making her look more sunburnt-lobster. Again, the cut is downright bizarre – I feel the ruffles are aiming for floaty, yet wind up somewhere nearer frumpy. The shoes are black and boring and there are not even any blingtastic accessories worthy of distraction. I’m actually going to stop talking about this ensemble as every time I look at it, I see something else wrong.
Favourite? – It’s like Sophie’s Choice in reverse. I suppose the Lanvin is preferable, yet only in the way that getting splashed by a car is preferable to getting splashed by a lorry i.e. neither is very desirable at all.
From those who nailed their red carpet look, to those that failed. Drew Barrymore’s been sweeping the boards with her performance in made-for-television movie Grey Gardens, yet the only awards these outfits will be getting are the ‘worst dressed’ ones.
Atelier Versace (left) – It’s frustrating because her Golden Globes dress is almost nice. However, remove all the awful elements from it – that’s the colour that makes her look naked despite the very visible bra, the slight case of VPL and the strange fungus-like growths sprouting from her hip and shoulder – and the only thing it has left going for it is the nice subtle shimmer.
Monique Lhullier (right) – Sadly, her SAGs dress is not even almost nice. It’s a full-on monstrosity. It looks like a lampshade… no wait, as if that wasn’t bad enough, it looks like two lampshades. Is the bottom part made of denim?! I’m not usually a make-up Nazi for the red carpet (who cares what colour eye shadow they’re wearing? Unless they’ve got it very wrong, you really shouldn’t be squinting at a patch of skin about an inch big) but this nude look is so wrong. Call Missing Persons, Drew’s lips have disappeared. On top of everything else, her hair is a mess; I can just about believe that the brassy shade of yellow and obvious roots are tricks of the light yet there is no explanation for the fact that it looks like it hasn’t seen a brush recently. Maybe it ran away with her lips.
Favourite? – The Versace is the less grotesque of the two. Hardly a ringing endorsement, though
Talking stars of the small screen, True Blood starlet Anna Paquin started her career getting upstaged by ducklings in Fly Away Home (she was also the second youngest winner of the Best Supporting Actress Oscar but meh). Well, those days are long gone. Paquin plays Sookie Stackhouse on True Blood (warning: awful pun coming up); these dresses show she’s pretty stacked in real life too.
Stella McCartney (right) – Now this is a red carpet dress. Spangles, sparkles, sequins. And boobs. Anna’s been in the business for so long that it’s easy to forget she’s still only 27 and she’s previously been feted for her more intense, dramatic roles so it’s great to see her looking so youthful and exuberant – and nothing says fun quite like sequins, right? Perhaps it’s a little too low-cut, perhaps the slit wasn’t really necessary… hell, I’d rather she’d have hacked a few more inches from the bottom and gone the full Beyonce bootylicious hog. But the shoes DO NOT GO.
Alexander McQueen (left) – Anna opted for another Macca for her SAGs outfit and a few critics have said they felt the dress was too casual for the awards. These people are wrong. Please see earlier comments about Paquin looking young and fun – this dress is a beautiful breath of fresh air. The print is unusual and the colours are gorgeous, making her stand out on the red carpet for all the right reasons. OK, there’s a little too much cleavage going on but it’s not Mariah levels yet. And hey, shouldn’t she have worn these shoes with the McCartney?
Favourite? – McQueen. Me wants.
Anyone that knows me will know that Glee is my kind of show and the fact that the lead character is called Rachel is clearly a sign that me and Glee were destined to be together (regular readers will soon discover I am big on “signs”). Lea Michele (Rachel) has deservedly become the breakout star and has been trotting the red carpets with as much enthusiasm as her character would undoubtedly show (alas, she’s not busted out any songs or dance moves yet… as far as we know…). We probably won’t be seeing her at the Oscars (buh-bye stars of the small screen) but I’m a big fan of all her red carpet looks.
Oscar de la Renta (far left) – The biggest award ceremony for her was The Golden Globes so lo and behold, here comes the biggest dress. And we really do mean big. A couple of people have likened it to a loo roll holder yet anyone that remembers Alesha Dixon’s get-up at 2009’s Baftas will know that this black feathery confection is just the right side of loo roll territory. It’s dramatic, romantic and a definite show-stopper (enough to make Rachel proud!), whilst the chic up-do keeps it looking elegant.
Catherine Malandrino (second left) – Next on the formality scale, the SAGs and this is actually my favourite dress of the awards season period. Colour? Stunning. Cut? Stunning. Style? Stunning. To be honest, I’d never really mourned the absence of emerald green on red carpets – until now. It’s suits Lea perfectly and the dress itself is so striking without resorting to the traditional pulls of cleavage (hello Mariah) or wacky (hello Chloe Sevigny). Simply gorgeous.
Romona Keveza (second right) – I suppose the Grammys are like the Oscars for musos (except they seem to have awards shows every other week… but still) but the dress code for rock stars is always a little bit edgier than in Hollywood. I think Lea’s done a decent job of trying to balance both these objectives with a shorter hemline, a more modern shape and a nod to the one-shoulder trend of the moment. It does kind of look like a stunted version of her Golden Globes dress but it’s cute and coquettish, flirty fun at its finest. We hope no ostriches were harmed in the making of these dresses.
Nuj Novakhett (far right) – The People’s Choice Awards saw Lea sport her freshest and youngest outfit of the lot with this vibrant red mini. And she should look fresh and young because, well, she is (even if she’s not as young as the character she plays in Glee) – nothing is worse than lamb dressed as mutton. There’s not really an awful lot else to say about the outfit other than it suits her down to a tee (the gold sandals are pretty too).
Favourite? – Surely you don’t need to ask…