For the second part of my coverage on the People’s Choice Awards 2011, the second tier of American starlets – those who I know of yet have little vested interest in. So rather than glorified clothes hangers… I’ll upgrade them to glorified clothes horses instead : )
Aly Michalka – I first knew of Aly from her Aly & AJ days, where their Potential Break-Up Song scaled the giddy heights of my Top 11 Singles Of 2007 but I was too consumed with the song’s greatness to pay much attention to the band behind it. Aly has since made the transition to acting and I’ve accidentally seen most of her CV, where she’s been entirely watchable in the likes of the underrated Bandslam, Easy A and now Hellcats. Contrary to what the producers of the latter show seem to think, I’m more concerned by the height of Michalka’s cartwheels than her ability to fight crime by producing a guitar. But onto this ensemble… true, it’s got the touch of the ho-bag about it and I don’t think it could scream sex more overtly if she was standing on a street corner. But it’s so sexy I think I kinda wanna bang her. It’s all about that Cindy Crawford beauty spot.
Boyfriend says: Michalka looks bangable, I agree.
Ashley Tisdale in Farah Angsana – I’m bunging the Tisdale in here as she’s yet another Disney alumni and is currently starring alongside Michalka in Hellcats. And yes, I did just address her using the definite article. For being so freakin’ fabulous as Sharpay in High School Musical, I will always have Tisdale’s back. But it sure is hard when she looks like this. Perhaps I could forgive the outrageous amounts of fake tan if she’d gone totally Sharpay with the rest of the look – spangly fluroscent pink mini etc – but instead, she’s gone floaty boho. Floaty boho just does not marry well with Ross from Friends tanning accident. As it is, floaty boho would barely have worked for a more normal-coloured Tisdale, as she’s too probably too short for a maxi and this one has some strange elephant tusks emerging around her middle. But she’ll always be The Tisdale to me.
Boyfriend says: Man, Tisdale looks rough.
Raven Symone – Like Michalka, Raven Symone is another former Disney star trying to find her way in the big bad world (the Tisdale, joy of joys, has a Sharpay movie coming out later this year!). On this evidence, the journey isn’t going too well. It looks like something Meatloaf would have worn in his wackier days. Although, dear God, I hope without a bra showing. Why on earth does she look so damn pleased with herself?
Boyfriend says: Raven is gross.
Kate Walsh in David Meister – I’m pretty sure I quite like Kate Walsh… well, I liked her character on Grey’s Anatomy, which is as good as, right? I also like that she’s unafraid to show up in public places without any make-up on and look bizarrely happy about the situation. And I also quite like this dress. Although it’s got a bit of the 80s puffball prom dress about it, you gotta love royal blue on a redhead. Good on you Addison… errr… Kate, I mean.
Boyfriend says: You know Kate Walsh has her own show, right? [Yes]
Tiffany Hines in Falguni & Shane – From royal blue done good to royal blue done bad. Hines is currently appearing as the major irritant on Nikita, a show I watch mainly to see Maggie Q kick some serious ass. Hines’ best moment on the show has been having Maggie Q kick her ass in what has been their only scene together thus far, which tells you exactly how dispensable Hines’ character is to me. Perhaps she’s aware quite how much the fans are desperate to plot her downfall as everything about this outfit screams ‘Notice me, please!’ Sadly, for all the wrong reasons. Looking like a puppet from Fraggle Rock got lost in the rhinestone and fringing section of a store that sells outfits for dated country music performers. Hideous.
Boyfriend says: I dunno who Tiffany Hines is, but I will avoid her from now on.