Monthly Archives: February 2010

Diana Vickers album sampler review

Metaphors, similes, clichés – they’ve all been done before about Diana Vickers‘ “unique” voice and I really can’t be arsed to think of my own. Let’s just say that following her appearance on X Factor, I was firmly in the ‘strangled cat/baby in pain/nails down a blackboard/yodelling donkey’ camp and that was before I even noticed the crazed clutching action of The Claw™. So for me to be telling you that Diana Vickers’ album sampler (title: Songs From The Tainted Cherry Tree) is blow-me-away brilliant is quite something, right?

Not even that bleating goat’s wail can keep material this good down. It’s everything Ellie Goulding’s marketing men wish she was – and more. Refreshing, breezy and hang on, genuinely quite exciting pop? From an X Factor also-ran loopy enough to find man-child Eggnog Quigg attractive? Sorry, I think I just saw Lazarus re-gaining his sight over there…

Once – If you love this, I can safely say you’ll probably enjoy the rest of the sampler. This synthy, bleepy, breathy triumph was masterminded by Cathy Dennis (Can’t Get You Out Of My Head, Toxic, About You Now) and Eg White (Leave Right Now); the killer stomp of the chorus is proof that pop pedigree like that will always out.

Remake Me And You – This is basically Once with its finger pressed firmly on the fast forward button. Frenzied and fantastic, it speeds by quicker than a boy-racer in a souped-up Volkswagen. The final strangulated ‘Yaaaaaaaaooooooooowwwww’ (translation: you) does remind you that this is a Diana Vickers record though.

The Boy Who Murdered Love – This is basically Once with its finger idling on the slo-mo button. The chorus is insanely catchy (‘Shot shot shot shot shot like a bullet/Stop stop stop stop stop all your loving’), there’s a nice lyric about roses turning from red to black and a wonderful last ten seconds of pounding drums. The whole track has a nice heartbroken throb to it.

My Hip – This song made me wonder if Vickers could be the UK’s answer to Shakira. There’s an exotic-sounding zesty brass segment set against Speedy Gonzales attacking the drum and bass, plus quirky lyrics (‘Your hand is back where it belongs/On my hip, on my hip!’) and the distinctive warbling llama voice. Now we just need Vickers to start comparing herself to a coffee machine with humble breasts and gyrate in a cage for the video for the transformation to be complete. Shakira comparisons apart, this song is breathtakingly awesome. If I had a press release for this album, this would be the title I’d be fluorescently-highlighting and drawing asterisks around manically.

Put It Back Together Again – Nerina Pallot penned. Take one listen and that much is obvious. Pallot manages to break my heart like no other songwriter of the moment. Sweeping, swooshy and a full-on seven shades of gorgeous, it doesn’t just make Vickers’ voice seem relatively inoffensive yet actually turns it into a thing of beauty. Starts off slowly before becoming a crashing whirl of epic lush-ness and just when you think it’s done getting better, it proves you wrong by adding some haunting ‘ooohs’. A masterclass in clever construction, it expertly applies the brakes and then slams down again full-throttle for maximum emotional impact aided by simple yet devastating lyrics. ‘If you think you’re sinking, you probably are… I never said I loved you quite enough, I hope it’s not too late… I’m going to tell you I love you one more time, again and again… you’ve got to fall apart and put it back together again.’ Jesus Pallot, you do it to me every time. *Wipes away tear something in my eye*

Article also available at Teentoday.

Red Carpet Rundown: Baftas 2010

I’m actually a little disappointed with this year’s red carpet fashion at the Baftas. Usually, the quirky Brit mentality means we get more adventurous choices from the stars yet this year, that derring-do dash of daring seems to have deserted the largely black and neutral red carpet. Whether it was the cold, the rain or the lower-than-usual star wattage of the guests (screw you A-Listers, we had bona fide royalty in the form of Prince William), fashion choices seemed more conservative than usual. Here’s a rundown of the only gowns that grabbed our interest for long enough to write about them.

Kathryn Bigelow – I’m gonna start off with my favourite outfit, which is also probably the most boring. Go figure. It’s getting absolutely no attention from most fashion blogs and red carpet write-ups so I have no idea who designed it either. A few are even criticising the tights with peeptoes thing; let’s remember – this is England, England is cold, my black opaques are practically welded on me through September to May so I barely noticed. But in my opinion, Kathryn Bigelow looks smokin’. Fresh from winning Best Director and Best Picture for heavy-hitting war flick The Hurt Locker, she looks positively radiant. Frankly, I’m not expecting Best Director nominees to show up looking like a Disney princess (whether that’s right or wrong of me is a different discussion) so this glittery mini is perfectly fitting – and judging by that figure, it’s a perfect fit too. Sparkle is the perfect way to jazz up a boring LBD and I love the sexy oil slick way it’s reflecting flashes of other colours at the bottom. Let’s just say I’m a sucker for sequins, ok?

Audrey Tatou in Lanvin – My favourite Frenchie Marion Cotillard abandoned me for this ceremony, so I guess we’ll talk about Audrey Tatou instead. Kinda wish I didn’t have to. I look at this gown and think marshmallow – it doesn’t exactly look like one, yet has many of the attributes I associate with that piece of confectionary (puffy, pink) but sadly, without the tasty aspect. Ruching in all the wrong places, it looks like it was fashioned from a restaurant tablecloth. I like the unlikely contrast with the scarlet accessories but by then, it’s too little too late. Tatou’s so chic as well so I shudder to think what this would look like on someone without her innate sense of style.

Carey Mulligan in Vionnet – This is so almost there for me. The graphic floral print is lovely yet modern and the striking monochrome keeps it from looking like cushion covers. I’m also a massive fan of boat-necks (so elegant) and the ribbon belt is a pretty touch. But it’s a shame the designer caught mad bride disease when he made it, for the train is unnecessary and the gown would look far cleaner and less old-fashioned without it.

See what I mean about neutrals?

Kate Winslet in Stella McCartney – It seems Kate Winslet is going the same way as cheese, wine and Chanel handbags i.e. the older, the better. This gown fits Winslet like a glove – and not some chunky fluorescent mitten your Nan knitted but a super-sexy and ultra-slinky one. The lace inserts add just the right amount of sex and prevent this from becoming just another boring black dress. Only just though. Winslet’s red carpet dressing of late has become very body-con and we miss the days where she used to wear shades other than black in the likes of Temperley and Ben de Lisi. We don’t miss the Doc Martins though.

Vera Farmiga in Marchesa – Marchesa’s gowns often seem a tad bridal (see Kate Hudson’s Golden Globes dress) and this isn’t much of an exception. Except I think it’s more heaven must be missing an angel goddess. Farmiga just looks untouchable in this dress – graceful, lofty, beautiful. The rational part of my brain knows it has seen other photos where this dress makes Farmiga look a little lumpy and that Farmiga’s preference for neutrals this season is making her seem a bit ice-queen, but the little girl part just screams ‘Must obey! Grown-up goddess in attendance.’ [The responsible writer part is meanwhile saying: ‘Mention the stunning origami detail on the shoulder and Farmiga’s elegant up-do and make-up’.]

Jaime Winston in Alexander McQueen – The only neutral things about this outfit are the colours. The rest is wholehearted horrid. Winston looks like a Marilyn Monroe or Jean Harlow tribute act. In fact, she looks like a tribute of a tribute act. The peroxide doesn’t suit her, nor do the Marcel waves, nor do the blood-black lips, nor does the dead animal draped round her shoulders. And the bandaging creates unsightly bulges and looks as if someone ran riot with duct tape over what was originally a nice dress.

Saorise Ronan in Burberry – Her name may still look like someone trying to cobble together a word from a bad Scrabble rack, but the snitch from Atonement is coming of age and she is looking seriously pretty in this frothy number. It’s young, it’s fresh and may be the beginning of Ronan getting a whole new set of (red-blooded male) fans. Top marks on coordinating the belt with the shoes too.

Now time to enter The Twilight Zone...

Anna Kendrick in Pucci – Kendrick is getting a slaughtering for this dress on other blogs. Well, you’re safe here Anna love. Although nominated for Best Supporting Actress in Up In The Air, she’s probably more widely-known for playing a bit-part in Twilight – serving as a reminder for the fact she is still a mere youngster, even though many of her red-carpet choices have been on the more “mature” side. This dress is the kind of bold blast of fresh air I’d expect a Brit to be making at the Baftas so kudos to Kendrick for beating us at our own game. The vibrant zing of the colour is great, the gold detailing is exquisite and matches the sandals perfectly and ok, the ruffles and shape mean it’s not very flattering but that mega-watt smile and gorgeous hair make it a winner in my book.

Robert Pattinson – MAN ALERT! As you can see from the facial close-up, we’re not really analysing his clothes. The big news is R Patz has new hair!!! Whaddya mean you can’t tell the difference?! Well, it’s less bouffant, less artfully-messy, less Charlie from Busted. This can only be a bad thing in my book as Charlie is probably my number one crush of all time (sorry Harry McFly). The flatness can be blamed on the rain (and we hear Rob spent ages in the drizzle meeting the fans, bless him) but the lack of facial hair is entirely non weather-dependent. Hmmm… we never realised we’d miss his stubble until now. Like a modern-day Samson, once shorn of his sexy birds nest locks, his power to reduce me to a swooning fangirl is diminished. Now who’s gonna start the ‘Bring Back The Bouffant’ Facebook group first?

Kristen Stewart in Chanel – Bella’s also getting a lot of flack on blogs, not for her sartorial choices but for her sulky teen demeanour. Stewart is such a talented actress that it’s easy to forget she * is * genuinely a teen in real life too and how many of us, in addition to the acne, popularity contests and raging hormones, had to run the gamut of the red carpet every other week?! (Then again, how many of us get snog Robert Pattinson and get paid for it… sympathy rapidly evaporating…) Stewart’s red carpet postures and general awkwardness do very little for her outfits but do make me love her just that little bit more. Personally, I think Stewart has the look and the boyish frame to carry off edgier ensembles with aplomb (I still love this Balenciaga dress from a year ago and she totally rocks this leather jacket with a Pucci mini) so this dress, although classic and inoffensive, doesn’t really wow me. Her hair (did a stylist get anywhere near it? Cos it don’t look like it) and clompy shoes aren’t helping her cause either. Oh, just let her get back under her duvet for everyone’s sake! (Although who can blame her if Pattinson’s under there too *wink wink*!)

Causeway Bay Flower Market: Feelin’ Floral

Another Chinese custom (yes, keep up, there are many) is to have fresh flowers in the house at CNY for good luck. Every year, there is a big Flower Market in Victoria Park in Causeway Bay for you to purchase your flowers at ridiculously over-inflated prices but it’s become almost as much of a tradition to take a spin round here for luck as it is to have fresh flowers in the first place. And it is spectacular to visit – the perfume of all those blooms is just amazing (indescribable – you have to experience it first-hand) and the flowers themselves…! Wow! Forget the Chelsea Flower Show, there’s nothing quite like seeing the most beautiful perfection of orchids, lilies and gladioli in a rainbow of colours accompanied by squawking Chinese hawkers yelling ‘Good price, lang mui, good price!’ with the smell of curry fish balls hanging acridly in the air.

Nowadays, you’ll find as much CNY tat (giant inflatables, cuddly toys and costumes of whichever animal’s year it is) and dubious street food as you will fresh flowers, yet that’s all part of the appeal. Last year, my auntie and I discovered a stall selling deep-fried ice cream on sticks. We started with one to share between us to try – and five each later, we were hooked. I barely remember if we bought any flowers that year… but alas, battered ice-cream wasn’t there to distract us this time. Novelty windmills also appear to be lucky judging by their prominence at both the fair and the stalls around Chinese temples; we bought this very pretty ribbon-y fish one (pictured installed on our balcony).

We’re savvy sorts so we didn’t actually buy any flowers from here, merely “got inspiration” before getting them cheap at our local wet market. Buying fresh flowers always seems such a silly idea as they’re dead almost before they’re alive but they really do look gorgeous and bring you some sort of unique special feeling and pleasure. These sweet peas were my choice, as they were never strong enough to survive the hardships of British weather in my garden at home. I guess a garden is one of the few things I miss about home – but I never had to look after it did I?! Perhaps the life span of fresh flowers is just about right for my current level of responsibility-taking.

It’s the Year of the Tiger! (It’s the thrill of the fight…)

Kung Hei Fat Choi! It’s Chinese New Year and rawr… it’s the Year of the Tiger. I’m a tiger so it’s my year – and I went to the temple today to do a few bows for the gods just to make sure (more of that later).

CNY has many benefits – three-day public holiday, free spectacular fireworks show and the custom of lai see. Oh, lai see, how I love you. Also known as red packets, these little envelopes of money are given to you (traditionally, if you’re young and unmarried) by relatives, employers and even randomers to usher in good fortune for the coming year. [To emphasise my randomer point, my auntie today gave one to a waiter and last year, I was given one by a lovely little old lady who I’d only ever seen in the lift to our flat – still not had any luck tracking her down this year!]

Having never received pocket money as a child, teenager or indeed adult, the combination of birthday (November), Christmas (December) and CNY (January/February) money would often have to tide me over the whole year!

Traditionally, as the name “red packet” suggests, these should be red as that’s the lucky colour in Chinese custom. But Asia being Asia, nowadays you can get them in any colour that features on Joseph’s Dreamcoat and even with Hello Kitty and her pals on (then again, what can’t you get with Hello Kitty on here?!). You know my penchant for pretty things… these red packets my auntie and I spotted at the Flower Market (another Chinese custom… more of that later) were tooooooo cute. They’re shimmery, they have colourful cute tigers on (or cute children dressed as colourful tigers) and of course, I’ve dark-holed one of each for keeps for me to stroke before my auntie went gleefully red-packeting.

Why does it always rain on me?

Me: Should I bring my umbrella, Richard?

Him: Nah…

Sure enough, Treg’s Luck meant that by the time we reached our destination, it was drizzling. Thankfully, this being HK, the MTR (think Metro or Underground but better) was prepared for such a situation…

Ta-Dah! Umbrella vending machine – cute, right? Well it would have been cuter in the ice blue or the pink yet boyfriend was in charge of the purse strings and he wanted to assert his masculinity by opting for black. It comes in some pretty sleek packaging and even has a 180-day warranty (but to whom do you return it – the vending machine genie?!).

In fact, the whole design is quite nice – lightweight and with better than the usual Borrower-sized coverage that portable brollies usually offer. A cut above the desperate ‘It’s raining!’ impulse buy of umbrella avec giant 7-Eleven logo anyway and you don’t even have to communicate with a real live person. (I make a great hand model, right?)

He’s Just Not That Into You film review

I went into He’s Just Not That Into You having heard worrying tales of how depressing it was from my friends. Turns out, I was pleasantly surprised.

The audience is faced with a multitude of characters in a multitude of storylines, revealing this lit-to-flick adaptation’s origins as a self-help book. The writers achieve a balancing act that circus performers would be proud of in keeping each of the starry ensemble’s disparate stories ticking along nicely before resolving them in a not-too-cloyingly-neat manner, whilst fleshing out what is presumably fairly dry relationship guidance prose into actual plots.

Consequently, there are actually enough plots for about 5 movies (hey, that’s 5 more than most indie films manage). What they all have in common is romance, of course, but it pays to not plump yourself down with your popcorn expecting the usual fluffy rom-com clichés. What you actually get are some well-observed witty truisms about relationships – girls believing guys are mean to us because they secretly like us, coming up with convoluted reasons why he hasn’t called, the implausible stories about friends-of-friends who make love work despite the odds. All these antics look patently ridiculous on the big-screen, especially when exposed by Justin Long’s everyman, but they’re all horrifying recognisable from real life.

Jennifer Connelly’s storyline sees her as a repressed suspicious wife (to The Hangover’s Bradley Cooper), Jennifer Aniston as the woman who can’t make her long-term boyfriend (Ben Affleck, at least attempting to act in a manner other than wooden) commit. Both plots are told in a pleasingly low-key manner and are all the better for being without the expected fireworks and melodrama; both characters manage to be more sympathetic precisely because the actresses playing them don’t jump for the ‘pity-me’ jugular.

IMDB trivia states that Connelly gets just 25 minutes screentime, Aniston only 20. Heaven alone knows how many Drew Barrymore gets then (12?!), yet she is typically luminous in her role, with her story of navigating the perils of techo-romance offering some light relief. In a cast that also includes Scarlett Johansson as a mistress, it’s surprising that the least-familiar name (Ginnifer Goodwin) bags the biggest storyline as the desperate girl whose actions are watch-through-fingers cringeworthy yet you can’t help realising you’ve probably been guilty of in the past (not something I cared to share with my boyfriend though!).

People’s disappointment in this film lies with its marketing department, who couldn’t resist the temptation to pepper their posters with love-hearts and photos of the all-too attractive cast smiling in a sunny manner. Although the end is uplifting, there are bumps along the way (and no, we don’t just mean Affleck’s acting) but they’re all-too realistic bumps dealt out with a nice dollop of wit and an air of freshness, taking this a notch above the rom-com formula. I’d take it over Love Actually any day of the week.

7/10

Red Carpet Rundown: Fergie

Oh to be an actor/musician. Double the awards shows, double the amount of dresses for the likes of me and you to pore over.

Elie Saab (left) – I’m afraid Fergie’s Golden Globes gown is a case of right dress, wrong person. My original line was that this cornflower-blue dreamboat of a dress is the stuff that little girls’ dreams are made of but one of my commenters outdid me by saying it would look better on a bridesmaid. She’s right. It is a gorgeous dress (I especially love the sparkly embellished waist) but I was hoping for a bit more glam-edge from one of pop’s resident loons. Maybe she should have accessorised it with the Crazy Frog BEP goggles. Either way, her monotone raven locks don’t really suit the Disney princess dress either, and nor do her massive basoomas, which are pushing up against the bodice so hard I’m worried they might pop. Now that really would be a walk down the red carpet worth watching.

Zuhair Murad (centre) – Fergie’s much more in her comfort zone at this pre-Grammy event. Instead of trying too hard to be something she’s not with the bridesmaid dress, she excels at displaying everything she’s got – namely a smoking hot body. At music shows, the old rule of either boobs or legs doesn’t hold – the more of both, the better. Fergie Ferg sure is working this silver mini; I’m not sure if the bandage style, robot-silver colour and lace inserts are just the right side of trashy or on the verge of tipping over but this is a definite case of right dress, right person.

Emilio Pucci (right) – I actually think that a slightly longer version of this Grammy’s dress could have worked a treat for the Golden Globes. It’s a smidgen more sophisticated than the Murad, the cobalt blue is striking and the flashy gold detail gives it the necessary touch of glitz. And Fergie’s body is still smoking. Job done. (Did you forget to hire a hairdresser though, Stacey? Why the same hair for all three shows?)

Favourite? – Lop off Fergie’s head and immense cleavage and the Elie Saab is perfect. Just not for her. The Pucci fits her image and attitude far better, without looking tacky. If you do show up at the Oscars, please remember you’re a quarter of one of the world’s biggest bands rather than the girl at the back hoping to catch the bouquet. Thanks.

Red Carpet Rundown: Diane Kruger

When we were talking about clotheshorses in our Marion Cotillard article, we meant Diane Kruger. She’s fast becoming better known for looking gorgeous on the red carpet than for any dubious acting talent – but when she does look gorgeous on the red carpet, my does she look gorgeous.

Christian Lacroix (right) – Let’s get Kruger’s miss out the way first. The flowery flounces of this dress are unmistakably Lacroix – but in a bad way. The ruffles over-complicate the neckline and make the shape lumpish, even frumpy (a mean feat when dressing the graceful and svelte Diane). The colour is garish, verging on the putrid and there seems to be some weird sort of tie-die shading going on. Misjudged.

Jason Wu (left) – But maybe it’s a good job Diane’s Golden Globe get-up was so unpleasant because she didn’t half up her game for the SAGs. This may just be the most beautiful dress of all the dresses we feature and Kruger just looks stunning in it. The dress just exudes class (not surprising given the designer is current Michelle Obama favourite, Wu) and with her immaculate make-up (we’re loving the scarlet lips), gorgeous wavy up-do and well-judged accessories, the whole look screams (well, quietly intones) retro Hollywood glamour. And all in that most difficult colour to pull off – mustard yellow. It’s elegant without being boring thanks to the shock of that colour, classy whilst still being sexy thanks to the bare shoulder and flattering lines and overall, just a big W-O-W. How on earth is Kruger going to better this for the Oscars?

Donna Karan (second right) – Diane’s dress for the Critics Choice was surprisingly formal (full-length, slinky, up-do) but works it by making it all look so effortless. The material looks divinely weightless and drapes around Diane’s figure in such an easy, artless way that the gown radiates a relaxed grace. The shimmery off-white/silver colour contributes to this gossamer-light feel more (I almost expect her to float down the red carpet) and Diane’s artfully-dishevelled up-do keeps it low-key. Although it does look a little bit like a negligee.

Herve Leger (second left) – Showing she can work sexy and modern just as naturally as graceful chic, Leger (most famous for his bandage dress, which you’ll recognise from the low-rent copies that litter the skanky, lycra-infested shops Britain is littered with) was the perfect choice for the People’s Choice Awards. The cut gives Diane a figure women would die to have and men would die to molest but she wisely toughens up the look with the black cut-out sandals and matching accessories, whilst the hair is casual sexy rather than all-out sexpot. The overall look is clean, contemporary and cool.

Favourite? – Maybe Diane should just wear the Wu again to The Oscars.

Red Carpet Rundown: Marion Cotillard

Somewhere along the line, I fell in love with Marion Cotillard. I’m not sure when it happened or how exactly – something to do with that charming Oscar acceptance speech about there being angels in the city or the cute story about her breaking down when she met one of her idols, Kate Winslet. Or maybe it’s just the fashion.

I remember her outfits from 2008, when she was sweeping the boards for her performance as Edith Piaf in La Vie en Rose, freakishly well. One saw her channelling one of those angels she had been banging on about, another a mermaid. They were quirky without being OTT and her fresh-faced Gallic flair saw her just about get-away with them. She became brand ambassador for Dior and has since worked a pretty unique look on the red carpet – classic with a twist whilst remaining youthful and interesting – and unlike some of the other red-carpet clotheshorses we see, she actually has the acting chops to back it up. Her outfits for 2010’s Golden Globes, SAGs and Critics Choice awards are no exception and are probably my favourite set of dresses from all the Red Carpet Rundowns I’ve been bringing you.

Dior (centre) – This being the longest and slinkiest dress of the lot, it will come as no surprise to hear that this was her Golden Globes gown. It’s actually my least favourite of her three looks, but was my favourite Golden Globes dress, if that makes any sense. The awesome Fashion Critic at Red Carpet Fashion Awards highlighted that many had already picked this out as a potential outfit for Marion, meaning she was becoming predictable; on this rare occasion, I’m going to disagree and say that this means Marion has a strong, unique visual identity and character, which is no bad thing. I can’t imagine many actresses managing to pull off the peekaboo black lace garter without falling the wrong side of slutty ‘Allo ‘Allo extra; in Marion’s case, it just looks like gloriously Gallic insouciance. I absolutely adore the deep jade colour and the origami-esque pleats, whilst her quiff adds an extra touch of cool.

Dior (left) – This Critic’s Choice dress is reminiscent of the mermaid dress I mentioned earlier – similar colour scheme and accessories. I really like the lustrous opalescent tones of the dress and they exude an old-school Hollywood glamour that suits Marion well.

Elie Saab (right) – But her SAGs outfit is possibly my favourite. There’s something a little Swan Lake about it, but in a magical way. It’s cute and young whilst still looking grown up and the beautifully-detailed shimmery embellishments prevent it from looking too casual. The elegant up-to was totally the right choice too – it keeps the look clean and adds further to the prima ballerina thing. Just gorgeous.

Favourite? – The most consistently scrumptious of the red carpet dressers without getting boring, the Saab just pips it. Who can resist shimmers AND feathers?!

Whip It film review

Whip It is such a great dynamic title for a film.  Roller derby – with its punning names, colourful costumes and the opportunity to see pretty girls on rollerskates beating each other up – is a great subject matter. And Drew Barrymore, an actress who seems a whole lotta fun, making her directorial debut with said film featuring a mostly-female cast seems a great idea. Shame then, that Whip It doesn’t quite capitalise on all the potential greats I’ve listed.

Despite the prospect of roller derby carnage, Whip It turns out to be a fairly generic indie coming-of-age movie. Ellen Page reprises her role as Juno – sorry takes on the role of Bliss Cavendar (see, she even has the indie-film requisite of idiosyncratic name), small-town girl with big-time ambitions to be the next roller derby star. This doesn’t tally with mother’s (Marcia Gay Harden) ambitions for her to be the next beauty pageant queen, nor with queen bee skater Iron Maven’s (Juliette Lewis) ambitions to retain top-of-the-league status. The next 100 minutes will see Bliss discover love, life and herself in true indie-movie style, with lots of quirky moments, acoustic-sounding songs and wistfully-framed cinematography along the way (the end shot is so indie it hurts… actually hurts, somewhere in the gut, I think).

In truth, Page’s performance is solid, un-showy and most importantly, believable. Far less irritating than the ever-quipping Juno, it anchors the film in reality– sometimes a little too much when you want Whip It to take off into the outlandish fishnet, fake eyelash and fisticuff-filled world of roller derby. Marcia Gay Harden, one-time winner of an Oscar, is a perennial feature of those ‘Whatever happened to…’ lists but on the grounds of this performance, she fully deserves to be back with a bang. Her portrayal of Brooke Cavendar is nicely-nuanced and she resists the urge to play the character more sympathetically. I enjoyed Juliette Lewis’ panto-turn as the villain of the piece and there’s sterling support from Arrested Development’s Alia Shawcat as Brooke’s bessie Pash (see, another weird name) and Kristen Wiig, RnB star Eve and Drew Barrymore herself as Brooke’s roller derby pals. Such is Barrymore’s innate watchability that you can’t help but want more screen-time of her brawltastic character, Smashley Simpson.

Whip It is a move from roller derby that gives the skater a burst of extra speed and to be honest, the film could do one. It’s never especially funny, or especially dramatic, but that means it’s not especially bad either. The whole thing has a certain charm that makes it impossible to dislike but for a film purportedly about rollerskating, it could have done with a lot more of it as its finest, funnest and most exciting moments come courtesy of the roller derby track.

During the credits, we get some deleted scenes and bloopers that show the cast having a ball – true to Barrymore form, it looked really fun to make. Shame a bit more of that freewheeling fun didn’t translate itself to the finished product.

6/10